Earlier today I posted my plan to tell my wife I was taking over the family's food and nutrition. Got some good advice, particularly those telling me to have the conversation face to face and not send an email.

Went home after work, wife was friendly and in a good mood, had "so much to tell me." We went upstairs and she rattled off some stuff while I groped her and pinned her down on the bed. She said she "hadn't showered all day" (typical thing she says to avoid sex), but this time I just took off my pants, laid back on the bed and waved my dick at her. Boom, handjob-blowjob-cum in mouth. After she swallowed, she said "now it's officially the weekend." That would be a tradition I could get used to.

So far, so good.

Then, after listening to some more stuff she said, I told her I had a "plan" for the family's food and nutrition: $1,200/mo. budget, no junk food in the house, get grandparents under control. She thought it was a great idea but balked at the idea of me telling her parents to stop pouring sugar down our kids' throats. She thought she should have that conversation and that her parents "have really gotten a lot better about that" (they haven't). I said she could have the first conversation but I would have the second.

At this point, she brought up the shared task list I had set up, telling her to just put everything that she wanted to get done on there, and I would respond to everything (not "do," but "respond"). (Previously, I had resisted being assigned "chores," so this is my way of turning it around.) She said something like, "I appreciate the idea of a task list, but I need to know that this is not your plan to just control everything and dictate what I do all day."

(Damn--I just thought of the perfect response to that. I should have said, "But honey, just a minute ago you LOVED the way my dictate." I'll have that in my pocket for next time.)

Anyway, I answered more or less straight up. I said that I was making changes and that she might not like all of them. I told her that I would respond to every item on the task list, but not always in the way she wanted. She seemed to be okay with that.

But then a few minutes later, she brought up the confrontation from last weekend, when I threatened to leave town without her and she threatened to change the locks if I did. She said she still hadn't gotten over how disrespectful I was, that she was not going to put up with that kind of treatment, and that I hadn't made any effort to apologize.

This is the kind of gambit that would usually have spiraled into a massive argument and gone on for hours. This time, it turned out different. I stood calmly while she laid out her grievances, then just asked, "anything else?" She repeated how hurt she was that I hadn't even apologized. I just replied, "I don't intend to apologize."

She mumbled under her breath and walked off for a few minutes, then came back and said something like, "This is a problem, because I have just started to trust you again, and now I don't know if I can, if you don't even care enough to blah blah blah..."

I just looked at her and said, "I don't want to talk about this any more. Let me rephrase. I am not talking about this any more."

We went on about our business and put the kids to bed. I told her I was going back to the office and left. She kissed me and told me to be careful.

My take away from all this is that there are giant shit tests and battles of will coming soon. She is determined not to let me "bully" her or "control everything." I am more determined to change this dynamic once and for all, even if it means divorce.

The main event is coming.