MMSL & other things ... is it all just a waste of time?

[deleted] · 2014-09-29T16:42:51+00:00

Dead bedrooms can come back. Mine did. We've been married for over a dozen years. We had sporadic and lackluster sex for five years and then what amounted to a sexless in-house separation for two and a half years. Now our relationship is better than ever, especially with sex. My wife initiates most of the time. She even chases me for blowjobs and gives them without expecting anything in return. I get more sex from her than I have energy to keep up with. I honestly go out some evenings just to keep her hands off me, because I need the break.

Can't complain. :)

UEMcGill · 2014-09-29T14:55:05+00:00

Without his back story, who the fuck knows.

He's dishonest with himself, went out and cheated, then came home and upped his SMV for a couple of months. Did he revert? Is she a natural LD woman? Who the fuck knows. I'd bet money he's just another frustrated chump who doesn't know what to do. He's going to hit the road, and end up back where he came from.

I love Dan Savage, some of his advice sucks, but some is spot on. Often he asks why would you stay with someone you are incompatible with? So if your leading your life and marriage as an Integrated Male, your SMV is clearly high to hers, and she's still not into you? Fuck yeah, hit the road.

roe_ · 2014-09-30T00:39:51+00:00

No, it's never a waste of time - big picture, it's not just about the bedroom, but the whole project of masculine self-actualization. Even if you can't revive your marriage, you're better-positioned to find someone else.

MetacognitiveMan · 2014-09-29T18:56:36+00:00

I'm beginning to think my answer is going to end up being "Yes." But I'll still have work to do.

barzerobar · 2014-10-01T16:51:31+00:00

It's not a waste of time.

All this is about fixing YOURSELF. Bettering and refining YOURSELF.

Whatever you don't put in work to dealing with it now will carry over into your next GF, LTR, wife. You will be in the same exact position with a different vagina.

BluepillProfessor · 2014-11-24T17:50:37+00:00

I absolutely disagree. There is certainly a percentage of women who refuse to turn around when the husband goes Red Pill. Some people think that percentage is quite high. I think it is about 50/50 which is still better than marriage counseling.

That said, 19 years is to long to waste. If RP is not bettering your marriage by the first year it is time to start moving towards "Option A" or "Option B" and readying your exit.

My personal story is that I was in a /r/deadbedrooms for 15 of 20 years of marriage. When I unplugged, started lifting, started Kino, and seduction and DREAD (by flirting with girls in front of my wife and telling various tails of hot girls I encountered during the day) that was when I took back the launch codes to her sexual denial nuclear weapon. Now I fuck her when and where and as hard as I want. Denial is not an option and she knows it. More importantly, taking away that denial option- and my losing the covert contracts and restoring sexual urgency- has made her more turned on than anything I have ever done.

Finally, RP is all about self improvement. As a married RP you are initially improving in hopes of restoring attraction. If you don't get it, as an RP dude you are in a very good position to move along.

TLDR: It is not hopeless. You can turn it around in many cases. However, if you don't see improvement in a year it is time to start planning your exit.

Title	MMSL & other things ... is it all just a waste of time?
Author	oldmarriedguy50
Upvotes	5
Comments	6
Date	September 29, 2014 2:39 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2hshxr/mmsl_other_things_is_it_all_just_a_waste_of_time/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/mmsl-other-things-is-it-all-just-a-waste-of-time.202973 https://theredarchive.com/post/202973

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