I'm brand new to marriedredpill, and relatively new to TRP an the manosphere in general. I've been pretty disparaged with how much attention is paid to the 20 year old getting laid, and how little attention is given to Married Game. It leaves a lot of information to sift through, lots of ideas to digest, with only 10% of them being applicable.

But, there are applicable things. Married game works. I am living the proof right now, as are many of you. I will try to contribute my experience to this sub (it's currently the only one I'm commenting in), but I'm not an expert so if you see me off track let me know.

Here's my story. Take from it what you will:

I was married 14 years ago. I'm 35 now. I was an unknowing and unintentional Alpha as a youth, mostly due to a strong gregarious personality and high perceived intelligence. I caught a high SMV young woman, and married her like I was taught to do.

Fast forward ten years. We have a 4 year old son, have sex maybe three times a year when she gets drunk, and neither of us is very satisfied. She's the primary bread winner for the household, and I've elected to stay home and raise my kid. I have, through the expectations of the society I'm surrounded by, gone total beta. Absolutely AFC. We've gone to counceling. I give foot rubs and back rubs at command. I defer to her judgement on everything. I have not made a strong decision in 6 years, despite knowing everything is wrong.

So, I threw shit into chaos out of pure frustration. Got a psuedo-girlfriend unbeknownst to the wife, but these kind of things tend to shine through. Quit seeking her physical or emotional affirmations. But, still the beta I was trying to keep it all on the D.L., trying to smooth things over, being the nice guy. We were in a tailspin.

My kid enters school. I volunteer. I start another new business, this time successful. I'm still attractive as ever, and the other moms notice me. Things start to turn at home. I've unknowingly increased my SMV.

A few months ago I literally stumble upon TRP using the random sub feature of reddit on my first day using reddit. Seriously. I eat this shit up, remember who I was, read the entire sidebar twice. I start acting the part. I throw away literally ALL of my clothes and go buy ones that fit and compliment me as opposed to being comfortable. I shave every day and start styling my hair every day, even if I'm just working at home. I behave as the man in charge. Internally I regain my alpha mentality, and begin to become the man she chose years ago. This is a simple but difficult change: Improve SMV, maintain frame, be 'the man'.

I've been laid 30 times in the last few months. I've been honestly FUCKED five or so. I got anal in the middle of the woods on a family hike last week. I just got road head for the first time since we were dating, and then she begged me to finger her while we drove. And here's the thing - SHE is as happy about my new demeanor as I am.

So, there's never a change without side effects. Here's what I experienced as a cautionary tale:

  • I changed fast. I recognized my previous ways and went back to them fast. The change in clothes, change in hair/personal grooming, combined with an attitude change had her immediately suspicious I was having an affair. I didn't get shit-tests, I just got the obvious suspicion. Luckily, my life is such that there was no possibility and she knew that, but some of you others may not be so lucky. Take note - gradual 'self improvement' changes may go over more smoothly. No woman will fault you with wanting to get healthy, and if you need new clothes because of that after a month or so who's to argue with that?

  • There has been female alpha backlash. She's so used to being in charge that she isn't immediately willing to give it up. Even though women are predisposed to being submissive and want a man in control, they are still human and humans love power. Having that power fairly quickly removed has her in little fits now and again. Luckily it's been in control, but a less balanced woman might not take this so well. Again, be aware.

  • The sex has been great. Some days I get pretty pissed off about all the years of sex I've missed, and I don't feel like giving it to her. This resentment of my own behavior and hers clouds my experience and hers too, I'm sure. This may be a burden that is never lifted, but I suspect it will lessen with more consistent reliable intimacy.

  • I have a lot of work to do to maintain frame. This is not easy, not at all. A lot of my daily energy goes into ensuring I'm carrying my self physically the way a strong man does, ensuring I'm presenting myself in a confident way, and double-checking my actions and responses to make sure they're in my frame and enabling my frame, and not my pre-programmed beta 'yes dear' 's. I'm pretty emotionally and physically exhausted at the end of each day. Again, I suspect this will get better.

So that's my experience. I hope to continue to contribute to the sub as it grows. I feel out of place at TRP or askTRP because it's a lot of kids trying to get laid. We're a bunch of old dudes trying to get laid again.