FR – It’s my Responsibility - Long

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January 25, 2018

This story starts 3 days ago. Red tide just ending and wife has a quick shower before bed. So I initiate for the heck of it thinking she still has her period (crampy and uncomfortable usually not DTF for about 4-5 days). However she is on and when I start moving down to eat she stops me saying “no it might still be dirty” fine. Caveman pounded it quickish because she tends to get sore if it is extended around red time. Smiles for both.

2 days ago I start initiating and she says “No I’m dirty.” I push it a little more and she is insistent ”No, tomorrow is hump day, I will shower then” So I’m OI at this point and I let it go. Not because she promised tomorrow but because It had only been one day and I truly felt fine that we didn’t. I am pretty sure that if I really pushed there we would have had sex but she would have gone starfish and given in even though she would have liked it in the end.

Yesterday, I get home from work and she is finishing dinner wearing black yoga pants. She has white dust on them I go over and run my hands over her butt. And say What did you sit in some powder?” She looks down “oh its Flour, I wiped my hands” I say “I will help next time you are baking I Know where to wipe my hands” smirk, laugh. Note: I cook sometimes but I never bake. That is her area.

Later we are sitting on the couch and amazingly kids (teenagers) are already in bed because they are a little sick. We are talking, schedules etc. She comments about wanting to travel with me. I agree that I want to travel with her and we discuss logistics of MIL availability (scarce). Kids are fine to be left alone for an evening but not comfortable to leave them for a week or even a weekend. Then she says “I miss you, I need to be connected to you.” Last week was busy with kids sports and it was shark week. So I say “sit in my lap and get connected” Now she says “I showered earlier but maybe I need to shower again”. Based on previous night I know she is hinting at sex. So I say “yes you do”. So she says what are you going to do if I do? So I say “pin you down and run my tongue all over you.” She showers and a great extended session ensues. At one point she comments that she loves my arms – even though 2 months ago she told me to stop working out because I was getting too big. Afterwards I make sure I stay in her for a few minutes while we come down from the high. She says ”we should have sex more often” I say “yes we should.” She apologizes saying I don’t know what’s wrong with me I am trying. I just STFU. Thinking back I should have said “We will” and when she said “I am trying” I should have said “don’t worry I will make it happen.” Still learning even though improvements are huge.

What is worth learning here? Besides all the little things (Kino, talking sexual, being sexual early way before anything could happen (kids still up and around) here are the big things that have changed in my frame from 10 years ago:

  • When she asked if she should shower old me would have said. “It’s up to you.” New me says “Yes you should”

  • When she asked what would I do? Old me would have said. “Cuddle you” because I couldn’t directly talk sexual. Embarrassed.

  • Old me would have hinted at sex but expected her to start it.

  • Here is a women who has been married 19 years who still plays plausible deniability and has ASD

  • Even though she ‘promised’ sex tomorrow but then she gave herself lots of ‘outs’ had I not followed through and pushed

  • She feels closer/more connected after sex

  • As much as she wants more sex she can’t / won’t initiate it more than making herself available

  • Now I know that it is my responsibility to continue to push it even more. Our sex life is my responsibility. She is very reactive and her ‘initiations’ are extremely gently deniable hints. Old me would have resented this and been angry that she didn’t just jump on me when she promised to yesterday. Now I accept the responsibility. Next steps in this area keep lifting and keep it exciting, push boundaries about when and where. DEVI

Post Information
Title FR – It’s my Responsibility - Long
Author dcapt46
Upvotes 15
Comments 14
Date 25 January 2018 04:33 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:
plausible deniabilityanti-slut defensedown to fuckframekinolift

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think your STFU right there in the middle was correct. You are not responsible for her feelings. "We should have sex more." "Yes we should." Period. Plus it's not also about WHAT you say, it's HOW you say it. You could say it like a autistic robot "YES WE SHOULD", or you can say it with a smirk and a smile. You need to be congruent with your words and actions. In your case, you need more work on your STFU.

[–]dcapt46[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the input. The smirk and the attitude are improving but there is room here.

[–]weakandsensitive3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Communicate more with your eyes and less with your words.

I just wrote yesterday "ASD is cute. LMR isn't."

[–]SeamusAwl2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like my wife a bit. Thanks for the FR.

[–]BobbyPeru1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are overthinking it.

If she says you should have sex more, then have sexual more. It’s that simple

You did good with STFU though

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

So many things here that should could have been a simple direct look, and a smirky smile. If you really want to get into the conversation, nod your head. Talk less, she'll talk enough for both of you. It not only works, it's easier for you. How can you say something wrong, when you only smile, smirk or nod?

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Operating in your wife’s frame for 19 years and suddenly analyzing everything this past week makes for hamster mince meat.

Get out of her frame, order a hospital pad and fuck her when you get the urge.

If anything else, get your head out of her ass/frame and initiate when you want.

Christ almighty. I’ll spell it it. You are a little unattractive with your asking

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

DTF for about 4-5 days

I was going to quote the whole 1st paragraph, but apparently you fear your wives period more than she does. Earn your redwings boy - fuck her in the shower.

”No, tomorrow is hump day, I will shower then”

LOL. Scheduled sex. Fantastic.

I am pretty sure

BS - if that is true you have closed. Accept the fact she doesnt want to fuck you.

I say

You talk to much. Women want you to DO, not fucking talk about DOING. Which you are not DOING.

So I say

Still with the fucking talking. Next time just tap your lap with your hand. Try talking without using your mouth. Its way more Alpha.

maybe I need to shower again

Jesus man, fuck your wife in the SHOWER. This is the most BS excuse ever. Take her, and FUCK HER IN THE SHOWER.

So I say

OMG, so much talking

I just STFU

You do not know what this means.

What is worth learning here?

You talk to much. You do not act. You think she wants to see your mouth moving and making sounds. She does not. You need to learn and understand what STFU (Shut The Fuck Up) means.

All your words dry me up, let alone her. They are cringy. You are not attractive when you spout off gay little words and lines like you are.

Next steps in this area keep lifting and keep it exciting,

Next steps are learning to STFU. And if you really think any of this was exciting, holy fuck man you need to go back to step 1.

Go back to Step 1.

[–]PeggedByOwlette4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Red, I know you wrote that for op but I needed to read that today.

[–]dcapt46[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

  • Have done the shower thing. It works. Takes a lot of pushing.
  • Scheduled? point of discussing this was that in the past even if she promised it would have not have happened if I didn't act.
  • Ok take out the I'm pretty sure
  • STFU. Yeah I can point to my crotch. I come up behind her and grind when she is bent over - no words etc. Sometimes talking works too. The point of this was not to be exciting and if you think I was trying to get you off too bad I disappointed you. The point was the attitude shift of taking ownership and responsibility for my sex life and not expecting her to take care of it.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

He verbal hamstring is a sign of mental incongruence. She feels like she should be attracted to you but her vagina betrays her. You've had how many years of fucking up to unfuck? Keep building attraction. It sounds like your moving in the right direction.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do not DEER. It is more unattractive than your whore mouth speaking.

Take your kick to the balls, and go use it as motivation to lift some heavy ass shit at the gym today.

[–]jimmybo19720 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


basic tenant of redpill

[–]mabden0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

she says “No I’m dirty.”

You sing, "Give Me Your Dirty Love." in your best deep FZ voice.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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