I'm a USAF SOF guy, have had my stuff together for most of my 10 years of marriage. Met the wife while I was training, and I've spent a lot of time on the road deploying and training, so the honeymoon phase got repeated a lot, and she was the one who had to chase me.
Fast forward 7 deployments and 8 years, and I started to struggle with PTSD. Didn't recognize it creeping in for a while, constantly building up. Always on the hook for short notice deployments, now we have 2 little girls, constantly felt stressed. I socially withdrew, lost interest in a lot of things, and spent too much time drinking and browsing Reddit. Arguments happened a lot, and I deferred to the wife rather than make decisions, becoming very BP. I recognize now how unattractive I was. She eventually moved out.
I started working on myself some, and 9 months later she moved back in with me and our daughters. Things were better, but I was still reeling from her decision to move on, and I was still doing everything I could to please her. Sex wasn't great. I looked for answers but hadn't found MRP yet, and despite my efforts, I was still a pussy, and I can see now that my wife genuinely wanted me to be the dominant guy in charge that I should have been all that time.
I finally got the right combination of mental health help to get me fixed, right about the time i found MRP about 3 months ago. Problem is that while things were getting better but before my mental health was squared away (and I was still getting out of the BP funk), she got a 6 month job offer working for Disney in FL. We live in NC. She said if i didn't let her take this job it would break our marriage, and I relented.
She moved to FL and I found MRP and got my mental shit square all about the same time, 3 months ago. I've been running through the sidebar, and the literature is resonating well with me. I've always lifted heavy for work, and i can objectively say i've got a solid body, no issue there. Self confidence is very high, and I've focused a lot of effort on flirting with other women and being a leader wherever I can. Also on being more social in general. Wife noticed, and started giving shit tests, which are becoming easier to pass as I get more practice.
I visit once every 6 weeks or so with our daughters, she has 3 more months left at the job. I openly flirt with other women in front of her, lead the family wherever we go, and maintain frame. The last visit i left her each morning by herself for a couple of hours so i could work out or hit up a BJJ gym.
Sex is pretty good when i visit, but I'm the one to initiate. It feels obligatory, like she's putting in her time because she knows I won't get it for another month and a half. I get almost no risque pictures, and despite making forward statements about how much I want my cock in her mouth, I typically get an "Oh lord," and that's it.
How do I go about applying concepts beyond STFU when she's so far away? I'm already legitimately busy so she gets a little bit of my time in the evening as I'm driving to BJJ; what's the line between prioritizing my time and pushing her away to some fuckstick there in FL? It's one thing to be a playful asshole when I can grab her ass and pull her in for a kiss, but how much is lost when I can't kino, and how do you overcome that? What are some of the other unknown unknowns that I'm missing?
Don't care if your replies are brutal, but I'd appreciate helpful comments for both myself and anyone else in my position. Thanks in advance fellas.