Weekend fun.

So I get home after work, pumped from the massively good advice and support from you lot.

One sniff and I can tell I'm simply in for day 2 of her normal silent pouty b.s. so I just play with my kid and make plans via text to go watch football with a friend Saturday night. Go downstairs, eat a healthy dinner, watch some tv in bed and hit the sack early. She continues her sleep on the makeshift pallet (or couch..not sure, didn't check).

Since I went to be early I woke up good and early Sat. Decided I'd do a morning walk before breakfast and as I exit the room I see my kid milling about their room, first thing they say is "Mommies not awake yet" which tells me she knows mommy isn't sleeping in our bedroom , nice. I ask if they want to go with me and I get an enthusiastic yes.

We go downstairs and the hamster is milling about the den , kid says to her "We're going for a walk" and I hear a super forced "Fun!".

So we walk and I get news about how my kid's looking forward to a fun day so it comes to light that the hamster has made plans for a fun-activity with the s-i-l (I mentioned in the previous post) as probably noticing we weren't talking at the kid-event. I can tell it's going to be her way of starting keep-away with the kid, but I gotta get out and am still refusing to get pulled into a tug of war. I spent some extra time playing video games with the kid , tell them I love them and go to the gym. Hit the weights hard and make sure to get back right after they've left.

I know at this point after checking the hamster's calendar that the funtivity will be over at 2, but based on past experience (recent and otherwise) I know she'll make sure to go somewhere at be a lot later (later I fished from the kid they went out for lunch and hung out with the in-laws). So I know at this point she would have expected me to be at home stewing (she hoped).

Once home from the gym I start to plan for potential multiple actions so the first thing I did is take both sets of spare car keys and put them somewhere only I would know about (pays off later). Do some more with the accounts to prepare for the switch and upcoming "allowance".

TEXT FROM WIFE Don't know what your plans are, but <the family she's been hanging out with all day> are coming over.

I know at this point I should just be not replying to anything but this text pretty much confirms she's been playing the victim to them, is rallying her troops and they're coming over to help resolidify her frame (in her head anyway). My communications are probably being shared. They're great, I know my b-i-l has his own issues with his wife (who is a lot like mine) but he handles her fairly alpha. So they're unwittingly being drawn in to bust up the new paradigm. So she's manufactured it so that if I don't respond...am not there, she'll be able to go to town with them and create drama.

From me: Oh that's too bad , I wish I had known before, I've already made plans to see it with friends.

I take two imports I have sitting in the back of the fridge, write a note and tape them to the front bottle : To <3 . He'll see this is funny, and it's a normal thing we'd do. He should pick up on the hint that I'm not off my rocker.

I take a shower and bolt.

So at this point I had time to kill and I looked down and was wearing my same old ratty t-shirt with my alma mater's logo on it and shorts that don't really match because I haven't bought shorts in a year and my pairs that matched had giant holes in them. In those clothes I see all the things I have NOT gotten so I could save more money for the hamster to buy hand-raised and fed lettuce. Went to a dept store, bought a new pair of shorts, went to the university bookstore bought a new 60$ addias shirt with my team logo on it. Went to the old campus, walked over to the u-bookstore and bought a new 20$ cap.

Still had time to kill before the game so I went to the other side of town where I grew up and drove around to see the old house, old 'hood. Helped me feel a lot saner.

GAMETIME.

Meet friend early , know I'm liable to hit too many so I use my phone timer to let me know when 1 hr was up and I stuck to 1 beer 1 water the whole game.

Halftime...phone rings. Look down and it's the wife. Send to vm. 2 seconds later I get a text : has been in tears for the last hour call if I can. I tell her to have THEM call me.

Walk outside the bar... kid calls and I can tell they're upset/been crying. I ask what's the matter, they miss me. I say I miss them, too but will see them bright and early, and even though they'll be asleep when I get home I'll make sure to come in and tuck them in and give them a kiss. I ask about the fun stuff they did, boost their spirits then tell them I love them and we hang up.

Wife could have alleviated and mitigated that shit, instead I'm sure there was a lot of worried hugging and coddling of this. She had plenty to be distracted by, but usually when my inlaws come over they tend to ignore the children (mine and theirs) and mine defacto becomes the little one's entertainer, they get stressed and stuff like this happens. My friend at the bar points out that this also shows I don't get out enough. Agreed.

I get home an hour after the game ends. Looks like my wife bolted upstairs the moment saw me pull up. The tv's on, lights are on but she's retreated to her floor-mat room (lights off). I turn everything off, tip toe into my kid's room to not wake them up but as I'm kissing them on the top of their head ... I get a wide awake "DADDY!" and hug. My kid is NOT a light sleeper... I tuck them back in and tell them I'll see 'em in the morning. I get ready for bed and go downstairs to get a glass of water and the hamster snuck back out and was watching tv again. I got my water an went back upstairs.

Early Sunday I get up. Kid is just waking up so I make them french toast and keep an eye on hamster to see if she's going to try to bolt with the kid again all day (she's still on the couch where I can't see her watching tv). I tell my kid we it can be a fun stuff day today since I didn't see them yesterday and immediate get "Oh we're going to grandma's."

"Oh we are? Fun! We can play there." Get a slightly confused look on their face "Well, but you wont be there." - - - - Counting backwards in my head at this point. "Oh why? I'm not sure what we're doing" "You're going on the boat with uncle <> and aunt<>"

So the plan was, get kid, take kid to moms , go out with fun family and party all day w/o me.

I really really, feel like I have no option so I say "I had no idea what the plans were so is it just mommy going?"

From the other room I hear "Just mommy".

"Well then it looks like I can help grandma with your cousins and we can play, too"

Since I have to go get ready to leave now...and she'll have opportunity to bolt... I go out to the car she drives, jack it up, pop wheel off, put lug nuts into my other car, lock door.

"Meant to tell you your front wheel was way low last night, got it off so I can check for a leak, we'll take my car to your parents". Hamster starts hamstering when she gets in the shower.

Tries to start a new shit-test. A bunch of I don't want you there, blah blah. I tell her under no uncertain terms I will embarrass the crap out of her by telling the family she's engaging exactly what's going on with 2 quick phone calls. I know them well enough to know they'd want no party in her manipulating me out of seeing my kid for a day. She backs off and tries to turn it from "You can't go" to "I didn't think you'd want to go".

Heh, crack in glass.

I then feel the need to do an additional emotional take down , then disengage: "Just so you know, we've had our differences, but I've never been disappointed in you as a mother until last week and this weekend." She starts hamstering, "Done talking" go back outside to put the wheel back on and pump it up.

Follows me outside and it goes from hamstering to pleading (when I don't break frame) I hear her case of how she didn't use our kid the day before.

I can see she's really convinced herself she didn't, and is just self-dishonest or ignorant enough to believe it. It helps me see her as the emotional teenager. Hold frame.. we go.

Pretend I'm staying at the house to help Grandma to give her some relief. (She does actually need it). About 2 hours after they left I get a call from my brother-in-law. He tells me he really intended for us all to go out and if we wanted to bring the kids they had room. I think he started seeing a bit of the bigger picture.

Come back , gets us. Rest of the day goes well. I pick the young hot single female friend with kids that is with us and just talk to her a lot. When I'm not playing with my kid, I'm playing with hers. B-I-L mentions I'm starting to get some real workout veins in front of everybody (thanks!). Anyway, before you know it wife is floating nearby (in the water so literally floating) and I grab her ass. Rest of the day it's some variation of that.

By the time we get back she's acting like everything is ok with us. ? .

While I was getting ready for bed she brought all stuff back in. She came over to my side to kiss me goodnight (I always ALWAYS have to do that). And here I wish I could end this by saying I banged her brains out, but I was so, so , soooo sooooo tired , I knew I couldn't engage with 100% alpha grudging that I'm going to do soon to destroy her hamster box with and figured this would be one time where if I couldn't dominate it would actually hurt my status. So I appeared to still be cool towards her instead, and just pass out from exhaustion.

Sometimes when my kid is leaving for school I'm still upstairs getting ready for work so I'll usually go to the balcony and yell 'have a fun day/learn something..love you (to the kid)', after following my routine the wife pokes her head back in and says "LOVE YOU" again something totally novel and new.

I said: "Ooooookaaaaayyyy!"

In a couple of days I'll hopefully have the new allowance account stuff set up, so I imagine I'll have more shit-testing to update on then.

[UPDATE BONUS EDIT] Just got a text from wife saying she was redoing the schedule since kid has a new after school activity and will take kid twice a week to the ORIGINAL activity that elicited the shit-test that started this whole ball rolling. So she went from hamstering I WILL NOT TAKE THEM EVER EVEN ON THE DAY I SAID I WOULD. To taking them her time and mine.

I'm stunned.

I saw this as a test....do I keep dread, or do I need to loosen and reward a positive behavior? I just texted back a pic of Ryan Gosling saying "You go girl" and got a heart emoticon back. Going back to radio silence now.