Authenticity to Femininity

BellaScarletta · 2016-08-14T01:09:22+00:00

Many women either project their own desires onto men and assume that men want women to be (for example) decisive, powerful and goal-oriented, or else they believe these things because we are all told them by the undercurrents of feminism in modern American culture.

This is what I would point to as the most important line of the text. It falls squarely within concerns I expressed in this comment and where I personally struggle overcoming illusions I had about when men want or respect. From that comment is a text I sent to R discussing this issue precisely:

I guess my biggest struggle is I had this idea for so long that that kind of ambitious person is what is worthy of respect and of someone. How could someone like you, that does work so hard, respect someone like me who doesn't strive to work even 40 hour weeks let alone 50-60+? And this does not have to do with you. It's been a thought longer than you've been around, but you are the kind of person I like -- driven, ambitious, hardworking -- those things still matter to me and I still respect and admire them so much (which is so important for a quality partnership).
But why would someone like that want me? That was really hard.

But then (and please stop me if I'm wrong), the way I began seeing it is that a person like you doesn't need another person like you at all -- that's how you run a relationship into the ground, where both people are so busy trying to run the world they forget to stop and be with each other. I can be a person like me and be even a better fit for someone who is impassioned and driven. It's like yin and yang, and what I love the most actually does offer the most: being someone's soft place to rest, running the logistics of whatever else I can (whether that is food or cleaning or calendars or just extra work they need done) so they can put all their energy that counts into their passion, and the rest of it into enjoying life. Then there is no management of doing the work that makes work possible (which is a lot). There is only work and play and I'm good for taking care of the infrastructure in the middle.

A good relationship doesn't need two heads, it's better to have one head and one heart and I'm much better at the latter than I ever was at the former. And people who are the strongest heads need that the most, I think. Like I said, stop me if I'm wrong there.

It's damaging thinking to measure yourself by the yardstick of men. It's also very hard to escape once you've bought into it.

StephanieCitrus · 2016-08-13T22:28:32+00:00

A lot of younger women fall victim to the 'cool girl' image. They love to say they're 'not like other girls.' They want to be seen and treated as one of the guys. I think it's a shame that feminine personality traits are seen as lesser.

When I was younger, I thought I was not pretty enough for feminine things, or too smart to do the things I really wanted. I am not very ambitious career-wise but was a top student. My favorite teacher told me "you don't want to be just a secretary or a housewife." He was dead wrong, I deeply regret not going to school for that field and am currently planning to become a housewife once my mortgage is paid off. I also think now that regardless of your genetic gifts (or mishaps) you can and should always work to improve yourself

My comment's all over the place but society right now just seems to be discouraging feminine personalities and pursuits but I hope soon that trend turns around.

Littleknownfacts · 2016-08-14T00:26:57+00:00

Lying about your femininity is short term game, not long term game. It may make you more attractive in the moment to be the cool chick that's down for anything or the damsel in distress, but if that's not really you then trying to keep that up in the long term will lead to heartbreak when he finds out that's not really you and resentment because deep down inside you know he doesn't really love YOU.

Lin333 · 2016-08-16T02:49:59+00:00

bought his books cant wait to start reading

Title	Authenticity to Femininity
Author	rialuxe
Upvotes	19
Comments	7
Date	August 13, 2016 9:29 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/4xl3qq/authenticity_to_femininity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/authenticity-to-femininity.209690 https://theredarchive.com/post/209690

Comments