I don't have a lot of male friends. I mean the ones that got close, turned out to be disappointing. Despite them behaving all good, I could see through it and recognise their misogyny and condescending attitude towards girls. Maybe I have to be a bit more forgiving. Does anyone else relate?

IcarusKiki · 2020-09-17T10:02:11+00:00

If they don’t respect you, being “friends” with them will only leave you open to manipulation from them and give you bad models for what a bf/husband should be like. You don’t have to be friends with your bfs friends, just be polite and friendly acquaintances. In my experience most close straight male - female friendships tend to be covert contracts with the man trying to get in the woman’s pants somehow so that may be why you see girls bragging about male friends doing things for them.

RPW_throwaway · 2020-09-17T15:30:04+00:00

What are examples of their misogyny and condescending attitude? Male friendships often work a bit differently than female friendships, so maybe you're misinterpreting things or the men around you really are of poor character.

Mewster1818 · 2020-09-18T01:10:15+00:00

I have a lot of male friends(my husband and I play MMOs with a group of mostly other guys) and we know quite a few of them from real life. I met most of them prior to getting married, and not a single one of them is condescending or misogynistic towards me. Even my husband lets me fight my own battles because he knows that it's my preference unless I specifically ask for his help.

If they're making you uncomfortable, then they're not good friends. Tell them in no uncertain terms what you dislike about their behavior, and if they cannot respect that you should walk away. Your ability to get along with these men is no indication of how well you'll interact with your SO's friends, so I don't think you need to worry about that.

It's a fundamentally different relationship between you and your SO's friends and between you and just male friends in general. There usually is a certain level of respect given to girlfriends and wives, so long as they deem you worthy of their friend. They will come to this decision based off of how your SO talks about you to them, and how they witness you interacting with your SO, just like you might do when being introduced to one of your female friend's new boyfriends for the first time. It's usually not hard to pass the test, they're basically just screening for lunatics, but if you impress them(by clearly making your man very happy) they will definitely welcome you to the club with open arms in most cases. Basically though, as long as you are evidently making your man happy, you should most likely have no issues getting along with his friends.

xosomeblonde · 2020-09-17T16:28:23+00:00

Why are you in this sub? Men are natural protectors. Why is that an issue? I'm not following how they're bad people? What are examples of them being condescending or misogynistic?

Men are not women, and women are not men. That's the core foundational belief of redpill. If you're expecting them to be women or to consider you "just another one of the boys," that's unlikely to happen.

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