Buddy of mine: "How would you recommend I get my first girlfriend?"

[deleted] · 2014-09-20T10:34:55+00:00

He needs to practice his social skills with males first.

If he can't gain the acceptance of men then he won't gain the admiration of women.

As far as how he should start contact with women. IMHO he should aim low for women that he won't by psychologically crushed if they reject him. Its important that we learn how to handle rejection early in life which is why being 20y/o and having zero experience with meeting girls is dangerous. You don't hit a home run without ever having struck out.

He needs to be careful not to fall in love with the first girl he ever has any success with. 20 something virgins are at special risk to instantly get super clingy and possessive with the first girl to show any affection towards them. This turns the girl off and sends her running for the hills.

atlas87 · 2014-09-20T10:45:45+00:00

Build a social circle by adding value to people's lives. Take women off the pedestal and interact with them like you would any of your guy friends by having opinions and standing up for them in a non-confrontational way when challenged. Go to the gym. Don't put anyone's well-being before your own until you have the resources to comfortably offer help to others.

Everyone loves making connections with people when there's something in it for them. On a college campus it's going to be access to fun, booze, parties, groups that seem cool or interesting etc. Bring people together, work on interacting with everyone you meet, don't take it too seriously, and profit.

First goal should be something like introducing yourself to the people you sit next to in class (if you're in college), people you work with that you haven't met, or people that you are around every day that you don't talk to. A simple "Hey, I haven't met you yet, my name's X" is enough to start. Get them talking about their history (where are you from, how old are you, why this school/job?), their interests, share some of your own. Maybe during that interaction, maybe in a day or a week, or a month, throw in a "Well I'm going to do X thing on X day and you're more than welcome to come, what's your number?" If done in a non-needy way, you'll make some connections, probably a few friends, and maybe even a cutie that will want to rub genitals together.

usul1628 · 2014-09-20T09:12:04+00:00

First things first, have him think of the kind of girlfriend he wants to have, or pick out an example. Then have him imagine what kind of guy she would want to date. If he becomes that guy, he'll have no trouble getting a girlfriend. Of course I don't condone "having a girlfriend" as a life goal, but to each their own.

SkorchZang · 2014-09-20T11:00:24+00:00

Tell him before you make the big dollar, you gotta make the cents first.

Do not go in with "I want to get a girlfriend". Just get on tinder or any app/site of his choice, and ask 5 -10 different girls a week for coffee or drinks. Each "date" is 20-45min tops. Let them pay for their own shit. After going through and rejecting about 100 girls, he'll be in pretty good beginner shape, and hopefully filtered the torrent of womahood down to a handful that don't make him sick with their bullshit in the first 20 min of knowing her.

The ones who pass this stage and themselves seem interested, he can start asking them out once a week or so on various funtime get-togethers. Never more often than that, unless it's the girl's own idea and she's reaching out, trying to get him to ask her out. Also, aim to always have 2-3 different "main rotation" girls at this stage, don't get lasered in on just one. Keep the conveyor belt rolling even after he has a handful of girls he regularly sees.

He gets his first girlfriend when one of these "main rotation" girls pops the question to him "so, what are we, big man?", which really means "I want to be exclusive now". If he likes her enough that he says "yes", then there you go, first girlfriend achieved. This is usually going to be after a couple of months of dating her once a week, no rush no mush.

While doing this conveyor belt shit, it's great to work on getting the balls to approach women absolutely anywhere, anytime. Experience shows this can often generate "higher quality leads" than the online EZ pussy conveyor.

BluepillProfessor · 2014-09-20T16:15:59+00:00

The Red Pill is about self improvement and getting a GF is a byproduct of that process- it should never be the goal!

Your friend needs to work on his lackluster social skill first. Read any PUA book- the Natural, Models, Day Bang, to improve his conversation skills. Then on to Kino Instigation, Isolation Plays and the Escalation process.

Second- actually this is FIRST, SECOND AND LAST!- he needs to improve himself. Lift, lift, lift. Join clubs and develop interests so that he has interesting shit to talk about.

Third, he needs to be bold and put himself out there. If he sees a girl he wants GO FOR IT. Approach her and talk. If they hit it off then BE DIRECT ANDTELL her: "I want to [take you to x, y z]." Heavy eye contact, etc. If it doesn't work then no worries: There are only 3.4 Billion, 999,999 girls left on the planet. ABUNDANCE MENTALITY!!

ColdEiric · 2014-09-20T18:28:18+00:00

How to get a girlfriend is the wrong question. Tell him to get a mission. A man on a mission, he can't get dumped by the mission.

MomoUnchained · 2014-09-20T19:39:23+00:00

Send him to goodlookingloser.com

Tell him to learn everything. If there was only one website he could ever visit for the next year, that one would be it.

svogliate · 2014-09-20T21:13:30+00:00

His approach to dating women sounds like it's identical to his approach to posting on /r/theredpill; he wants to evade the rules and use a short cut. The only other thing you tell us is that he has low self-esteem.

There aren't any short cuts. Tell him to read all of the sidebar links and work on improving himself as a human being. First step is learning how to enter a social community without making a big show of shitting on its shared conventions. Second step, which embodies the first step, is lifting weights. If he tries to take a shortcut there, he'll get some very immediate and personal feedback.

mordanus · 2014-09-20T21:18:51+00:00

His first step is to learn and grow. The problem I see with men and women alike today is that we either refuse to see or are blind to what the other gender values. Men are open and honest about what we value in women for the most part but women usually lie about it. Your friend needs to ignore what they say and watch what they do.

Once he learns what women like then he needs to grow in that direction to increase his smv. This is where you get the standard answers. Lift, groom better, make more money, get more status.

I personally feel that he is selling himself short by getting a girlfriend though. Instead he should be trying to get multiple women that are into him and date all of them without being tied down to one. This will increase his smv through preselection.

jamest0001 · 2014-09-21T17:07:17+00:00

Don't just focus on women. Focus on making friends in general. Having friends and people who care about use is what gives a man his confidence. Without friends you are down in the dumps and don't have much social value for a woman. She can sense your lack of confidence.

Also improve your physical fitness. Exercise. Eat well. this will also give you more confidence and may also make people like you better. People respect those who take care of themselves. If people treat you better then that will also make you more happy and confident.

Thizzlebot · 2014-09-25T20:25:40+00:00

"I'm asking for a friend" ok bud whatever you say

chaosbox · 2014-09-20T15:09:41+00:00

How you get a girlfriend is the same as how you get anything. You have to want it. You have to have a burning desire for it. When you have that desire, the actions you need to take will be apparent to you.

First cultivate desire within yourself, then let it fuel your actions. If you can't bring yourself to desire it strongly enough, then you don't really want it.

People are giving you advice regarding specific actions you can take to get a girlfriend, and it's all good advice. But none of it matters if you don't want it enough. If you aren't motivated enough, the actions will be hollow.

Title	Buddy of mine: "How would you recommend I get my first girlfriend?"
Author	disayle31
Upvotes	14
Comments	16
Date	September 20, 2014 8:46 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2gxrfe/buddy_of_mine_how_would_you_recommend_i_get_my/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/buddy-of-mine-how-would-you-recommend-i-get-my.21453 https://theredarchive.com/post/21453

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