LVM/NVM are blackholes. At one time they had the potential to become bright, shiny suns, however, something happened to them and they collapsed. The collapsing event may have been childhood abuse, another woman who broke his heart, or porn addition. Doesn't matter. This is outside your control. Something you cannot and should not try and fix. Don’t feed the blackhole!

What does a blackhole do? A blackhole sucks up energy. A blackhole’s natural state is to take and take from the universe. This is the nature of a LVM. He will drain you of your energy. Nothing will ever satisfy him until you are an empty shell. Even then, it isn’t in the nature of a blackhole to release an energy source-oh no! He will let you hang on in his gravitational pull until you make the effort get away. He will string you along in orbit in the form of situationships, FWB, a causal relationship, a broken marriage or as a forever girlfriend. Even worse, the blackhole wants as many energy sources as it can get. Cheating, ethically non monogamous, porn, an ex-girlfriend he can’t cut loose, a friend he uses to make you feel insecure with. He takes and sucks energy from you all.

How can you get away? Cut all contact and block forever. Break away from his orbit like your life depends on it. This hurts the blackhole. He will shift his attention to you temporarily. He must direct all his energy to keep feeding off you. This isn’t real love. The blackhole hasn’t changed. Has a blackhole ever reversed and become a sun? No, this is against the laws of thermodynamics. This is a false posturing to keep you and suck you back into his orbit. You must resist until he gets bored and moves on to another energy source.

Back to the main point. You can’t change a blackhole. You can’t fix or heal him. His change has to come from himself. As much as he begs and pleads, he won’t change. A huge majority of LVM don’t possess the introspection you do. He is going to need a huge shock to bring him rock bottom to even begin the process of change, if it ever comes. It may take actually losing you for that to happen. Most likely not. Don’t pour your energy into a black hole. Search for another sun to orbit that can breathe life into you. No more blackholes.