How to handle this situation with LTR?

Pikajeeew · 2017-03-26T14:00:49+00:00

LTR a girl that gets drunk and; "has a tough time" staying away from other guys, gets sloppy & makes out w other bitches, and general lack of respect.

If that's just the shit you know about, I'm sure there's plenty more you're either clueless to, or in denial about.

If I were you, at the very least I'd at the immediately downgrade her to a plate or fuckbuddy as she's shown she's not LTR material.

No_senses · 2017-03-26T14:15:32+00:00

Notice the escalation? It went from flirting a bit, to making out, next thing she's going to tell you that she fucked some other guy.

never was going to drink again if i wouldn't let her

Doesn't even sound right. If she was feeling truly bad she would be vowing not to go out and drink herself, not only if you let her. She's setting it up so that her not drinking is your decision, and it will be used against you in the future (he's controlling, doesn't trust me, etc).

At the very least I'd demote. Ghost if you want. She's been getting away with crossing lines with no punishment, so she's been slowing escalating. Honestly there's a chance she already has cheated, but you know your girl better than I do.

RichieFinn · 2017-03-26T14:10:40+00:00

Her friends also confirm? Those are her friends not yours. They will cover your gfs ass 1000 times over before they cover yours. Dont be so naive

abdada · 2017-03-26T14:18:04+00:00

Trickle truth

Don't LTR women who drink socially. What a waste of time.

Onerrann · 2017-03-26T14:07:24+00:00

Honestly man, being the same age as you, what you're saying makes sense through and through. So she tells you she's trying to avoid guys and a girl happens to make out with her after saying this. To me it sounds like she plays with both sides like my ex. At this point you can either A, cut her off for cheating or B, see this as an opportunity to let her experiment with girls (if she hasn't already) all while you're there and fucking both of them. Like I said my ex was bi and that in itself is playing with fire. Think of it as the scene in fight Club when Tyler kisses dudes hand and puts Ajax or whatever on it. You know what you're getting yourself into now so you can ride the wave or hop off. Make it your choice before she makes the choice for you. Godspeed my brother.

Edit: her telling you she can't stay away from the guys was a big shit test, so I hope you didn't cry or anything. Doesn't like you from your post but I had to add that.

quicklogaccount · 2017-03-26T14:59:17+00:00

Dude, here's the thing. The life, the universe and everything else are screaming for the both of you:
You should be experimenting, you should be dating other people, you shouldn't be settling down.

For men, for you, picking up this call requires a bit of courage to overcome the hardwired anxieties we have regarding women. Approach anxiety, performance anxiety... You need to put EFFORT to get to the point where you face your anxiety, than you have to face it.
For women, picking it up requires handling different anxieties. Particularly ASD. The thing is, their chances for handling them come naturally. She doesn't need to put any effort to get hit on or to end up on a room with someone else. Avoiding these situations, on the other hand, requires effort.
Either way, you're both heavily incentivized to explore, not to settle. You might not face your issues, it'll be ultimately unhealthy for you, but under no circumstances you should abide from facing them because you have a agreement with a woman about her abiding from doing the same. It'll be unhealthy but far lighter on her and she probably will end up breaking this agreement AND causing you to hold your end because you won't trust your ability to act otherwise. Scarcity mentality.

I see three approaches for you.
First one is be "cool" and "sex positive". Bang chicks with her. It most likely will cause you to break up, but you'll make the most of it, hopefully end on good terms.
Second one is admit that it is time for you to date other people and break up already. She'll suffer because she'll be at loss but she'll move on before you do. You'll probably end up developing a fwb relationship if you can keep your head cool.
The third one is bad, but you can "forgive and forget". Have a few more months of a good relationship with her while you forcefully develop abundance by flirting around, maybe kissing a chick once in a while if your morals allow you to. Soon enough what happened to her will happen again (I suggest you to say you trust her out with her friends, so she doesn't end up repressing herself). Then, when it happens again, you'll have better abundance mentality and it'll be easier to take one of the other two options.

Just to mention, AT LEAST 30% chances that girl hitting on her was a guy. If her group of friends isn't made up by a women already dating other women and doesn't go to alternative environments, but regular ones, make that 60% or more.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2017-03-26T15:28:04+00:00

She spurted stuff like that she never was going to drink again

"Never drink again...right now."

I probably didn't give her the excitement she needed and wasn't assertive enough.

Now you own her...for the time being. She's going to be on "best behavior" at least for a while, which you should exploit to your own advantage.

I'd get a 3 way out of it with the other chick (if she's hot) before I did anything hasty.

The only "trickle truth" I'd worry about is if the other "girl" turned out to have a penis. I'm used to dating bi-girls, so them doing stuff with other girls doesn't really bother me.

kruxofthemimed · 2017-03-26T15:23:24+00:00

Dont do monogamy

raisins3142 · 2017-03-26T18:09:12+00:00

You're both young. She probably hasn't experienced sexuality with others. Some part of her wants to now. She is finding it difficult not to. Eventually worse and worse things will happen, especially given that she drinks around men when you aren't there. You may or may not find out about it.

At your age and given the situation, I'd cut her free and do your thing.

Willow-girl · 2017-03-26T19:33:16+00:00

Don't date people who have a drinking problem.

ozaku7 · 2017-03-26T20:42:43+00:00

You are young, 19 years old. Only a bluepill would think that you will stay together forever. Call her your GF, but enjoy life and move on if she proves that she's not worthy of your trust and time. This is just the next level of the junior grade "love you 4evah, don't want to ever lose you!" kind of bf/gf crap.

ButtslamAntifas1488 · 2017-03-26T16:12:48+00:00

Set up a situation where you slam her at her place, play her out for anal then afterwards, get up and say you're going to the bathroom to clean up but actually lock the bathroom door from the inside and sneak out the bathroom window. Delete and block her on everything and ghost until she comes crawling back on your terms.

aurelius_shrugs · 2017-03-26T14:01:08+00:00

Dump her. Go to the gym.

Title	How to handle this situation with LTR?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	21
Date	March 26, 2017 1:28 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/61ljky/how_to_handle_this_situation_with_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-handle-this-situation-with-ltr.216271 https://theredarchive.com/post/216271

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Trickle truth