How do people stay in marriage for years if they're unhappy with their marriage?

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2019-02-08T06:53:39+00:00

-Sunk cost fallacy.

-Worried about how family and friends perceive them.

-Fear of the unknown.

-Afraid of stepping out of their comfort zone.

Back in the hunter-gatherer days a tribal group that you didn't like, was still a lot better than roughing it alone. So it's not in human nature to just cut loose from the people you see as family.

GayLubeOil · 2019-02-08T08:19:58+00:00

The same way they stay at an unhappy job. Economics is the most powerful social motivator.

_thechinaman_ · 2019-02-08T06:21:24+00:00

Either men are too pussy to stop the vampiric women or both parties set aside quarrels for children. Some men marry just because "it seemed like the next thing to do" or because they do what mommy says.

boy_named_su · 2019-02-08T08:17:15+00:00

Men are capable of sacrificial love, and generally stay for the kids, and because they committed to staying, despite everything

rugged79 · 2019-02-08T07:32:21+00:00

Sometimes if a man never picked up a sword and slayed a dragon, he's just cruising through life. Having never had the highs and lows of doing "man shit" or taking risks, he may focus solely on getting a good job. Especially women near the Wall start looking for this beta bux under the "I've learned from my mistakes" bullshit.

Marries the hottest bitch he can get because he thinks "that's the best I'm ever going to get". She owns him, uses him as an emotional punching bag, and basically fattens him up for the inevitable feast, aka divorce.

Basically Neutered Man Walking.

therandombiker1 · 2019-02-08T08:32:46+00:00

Because it is not hell on earth all the time. You have good days and bad days. It takes a time until the bad thinks compound and become unmanageable.

And then you are afraid of what awaits you out there. And you don't want to hurt your soon to be ex wife, because you realize she's not a bad person, she only have some limitations which whom you're not willing to go along anymore.

And then, if you have kids, it's really hard, because you think of them.

If she cheats you or do some crazy stuff it's easy to leave. But it's not always the case

hmsthinkingmeat · 2019-02-08T11:18:12+00:00

For me it was the fact that splitting up (have 2 kids, had house, etc) is a major headache and trauma so it's easier to keep plodding on...

...until you reach the tipping point where you just can't do it any more.

For me her behaviour became worse and worse, it was obvious she was getting ready to monkey branch as her behaviour became more and more brazen, so one night she rang me to tell me she was "stopping out for drinks with the guys (men) from work" so I told her not to bother coming home and we were done.

[that day she'd spent c.13 hours straight with them already at work and a work thing after their shift - and she now wanted to hang out with them for another 4 hours+... - me and the kids had seen her for 1/2 an hour in the previous 2 1/2 days]

Strangely she was really upset, blew up my phone begging to be able to come home but I said no.

Next day she was as cold as fuck and wanted to split up too.

A week later when I told her I went to a lawyer and started divorce proceedings - she burst into tears again and didn't want to divorce [but still split up]. She actually said why do we have to get divorced - can't we just leave it for a few years!!!!!!??!

I think she wanted to keep me as her safety net in case her new life blew up.

atticusfinch1973 · 2019-02-08T06:41:04+00:00

When they get married they do "love" them or convince themselves they do due to societal or familial expectations. Then once kids (and assets and property) enter the picture it makes it harder to end the relationship.

By the way, when women say "Wasted X years with him!" it means "I'm blaming him for the past five years even though I did nothing to help!"

mrdeeds1972 · 2019-02-08T20:23:17+00:00

For me it was getting married young, having kids and being blue pilled to think that you have to do everything in your power to make a marriage work and that she felt the same.

BluBlac59 · 2019-02-10T04:03:00+00:00

Kids or taking the time to prepare for a divorce. Get finances in order laying the foundation for a new life. Getting a lawyer on your side. Guys that say you're a pussy for not getting out age are not thinking.

Title	How do people stay in marriage for years if they're unhappy with their marriage?
Author	IWantAllYourMoney
Upvotes	6
Comments	10
Date	February 8, 2019 6:18 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/aodp65/how_do_people_stay_in_marriage_for_years_if/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-people-stay-in-marriage-for-years-if-theyre.217377 https://theredarchive.com/post/217377

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