Recently hooked up with an ex. We talked about our relationship and it lead to a surreal moment talking about RP philosophies and hearing a female perspective.
Quick backstory - she was all about LTR’s and relationships in HS. Was “single” for a few years after HS (aka CC), in an on/off relationship through her early 20’s. Never cheated but would sleep around some in the off periods of that relationship. Pretty much the definition of AWALT.

  • On the wall:

    • True, but that’s just growing up. When you’re young you don’t really think about the future - girls like to go out and party just like guys do. When you’re out partying inhibitions get lowered and people that are comfortable with each other will end up sleeping together (cc). Once you sleep with someone once it’s a lot easier for that to happen in the future because you’re more comfortable with each other and know you’re compatible sexually - girls like sex too (plate).
    • There’s not a certain age when you hit the wall and it has nothing to do with looks fading. She’s 26 and could sleep with someone any day of the week if that’s what she wanted, but growing up and maturing means looking for something different from life.

  • On Alpha/Beta:

    • True that there are certain guys who you would sleep with and certain guys you would date. Doesn’t see a problem with it or feel used. She’s never had any illusions of dating a guy she was just hooking up with (cc).- they don’t have any qualities she would look for in a man to date so if anything she felt like she was using them for sex just as much as they were using her.
    • Doesn’t agree that she would only date guys who are softer or can provide more in terms of resources. For her a guy she dates is similar to a guy she would just hook up with (strong, confident, good looking) but additionally has a good family, good character, and is trustworthy (wouldn’t cheat).

  • On Slut Shaming/SMV going down for girls who CC:

    • True but a bullshit double standard. All girls do it but some try to hide it more than others. All guys do it also so who do you think they’re doing it with? Girls would hook up even more if it weren’t for this because sex is fun.
    • She regrets some of her past decisions because it’s caused her potential relationships (ex: our relationship), but doesn’t think that’s fair as guys do the same thing and any fun girl you find will have a past - you just don’t happen to know about it.

  • Branch swinging:

    • Hyper loyal in relationships and has and hates breakups because they make her feel like she’s fucked something up. When not in a relationship of course she will go for the best available man, who wouldn’t?

  • On Game:

    • Absolutely true - some guys have it in ways she can’t explain (Chad). One guy in particular who she did things for which she would normally never do. She would explicitly tell him she wasn’t going to hook up and end up in his bed, she would send nudes even though she hated the idea of and had never done in her life, she would do things in bed she’s never done for anyone she wasn’t dating. She had a set of rules for herself regarding guys and he dropped all of them - no one else had done that before.
    • Everything was like an illusion, nothing seemed real. He had a way of coming on casually and friendly, but looking back things were very authoritative - he was always in control. He brought out a different side of her, she never did anything she didn’t want to do (until after the fact) it’s like he made her think things were her idea. There’s no way to describe it other than he just had a way about him.

  • Pair Bonding

    • Fake news that girls who sleep around can’t pair bond. Hooking up with a dude is an entirely different experience than falling in love. She knows when she’s in love pretty quickly and everything changes. She would do anything for her the guys she dates and they become the most important people in her life.

Overall she confirmed just about every tenant of RP. Her main sticking point throughout the talk was “aren’t you guilty of all this as well?” That’s an interesting point - it takes two to tango and these girls are out there living the same life that guys are living. Particularly regarding sleeping around because sex is fun, certain guys being alright as fuck buddies, but looking for additional qualities in a LTR, looking for the best possible mate in an LTR… What are your guys thoughts on the matter of AWALT and AMALT being the same thing?