Respect > Lust > Love

redbluepilling · 2013-10-22T01:16:53+00:00

[permanently deleted]

alibabablah · 2013-10-22T06:13:38+00:00

I'm in a LTR. I got a degree in May and haven't landed a job yet. In the past I've been very busy with school and my girlfriend had to compete for my attention. She has always treated me like a god.

For the first time in my relationship, suddenly I was readily available to spend time with her and also routinely frustrated/down on myself. Job hunting is tough on the ego. I even opened up to her about it and leaned on her for emotional support. I also have a car and for about a year she doesn't (story here isn't important). She started asking me to help her run errands and I was obviously usually available.

I don't even really need to tell you the rest of the story. If I had already found the red pill I never would have made these mistakes. The sex started slowing down, the blowjobs pretty much stopped. People are so predictable. Then the respect started disappearing.

Then one day she cancelled plans we had made (for a Sunday) to go hiking with a some guy she used to work with. Turns out he had just broken up with his girlfriend, jeez I wonder what his motivation was. She just loved the attention too much to say no.

So Saturday I am supposed to take her to run errands. About an hour before I'm due to pick her up, she calls me up to break the news that Sunday's plans are off because now she wants to go hiking with this guy. "You don't mind, do you?" I wish I could tell you otherwise, but I said it was fine. We'd reschedule. I almost lost her there, I'm sure of it.

An hour later when I pick her up, I am fuming. I take one look at her and snap. I tell her it's bullshit. This weekend I'm going to take her to run errands and some other guy is the one spending quality time with her. That's bullshit. It's disrespectful to flake like that in favour of seeing anyone, let alone some other guy. I'm not her chauffeur, I'm her goddamn boyfriend. She pushed back, gaslighted me with "I didn't think it was a big deal. I didn't think you would mind, we can hang out anytime." Clearly prioritizing someone else. "You know I feel bad about having to depend on people to get stuff done. It makes me feel guilty when you say you're my chauffeur."

If I'm not your chauffeur, then don't fucking treat me like one.

Things have gotten better, but they're still not where they used to be. Most importantly, after that talk she spent Sunday with me. We fucked several times. She didn't reschedule the hike, and she never met up with that guy again. Ever.

She's a great girl, we get along great and share a lot of values. Plus when the sex is good, the sex is good. Her only fault is that she likes attention from guys a little too much, craves the validation. One thing she's clear on is that if she ever cheats, she's out the door forever.

I've been living with one foot out the door of the relationship since then, I feel like a sociopath because I'd drop her in a heartbeat if she does something wrong. At the same time, I've been making myself scarcer, hitting the gym, and working on some hobbies all while job hunting. The respect is coming back and with it so is the sex. I told her I was unhappy with our sex life and she started out defensively, even tried to pull the "you only want to use me for sex!" After three years together. But I stood firm and let her know sex was important to me and if we weren't having it, he relationship wasn't going to work.

In fact, my self-improvement has worked as dread game. Among other things, she jokes that I shouldn't tell girls that I build furniture because they'll think I'm a catch. But she means it. Things are getting better.

I got complacent and she lost respect. I get it. It just sucks knowing that there isn't another woman out there that I can expect any better from. Nobody can be my emotional rock but me. If I want a successful relationship I can't expect emotional support and it needs to be clear that my time is valuable. She gives me as much as any woman ever will.

Respect > Lust > Love.

Title	Respect > Lust > Love
Author	magicalbird
Upvotes	15
Comments	16
Date	October 22, 2013 12:29 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1oxxup/respect_lust_love/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/respect-lust-love.232762 https://theredarchive.com/post/232762

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