~ archived since 2018 ~

No desire to compete

21alx · 2019-06-11T20:08:02+00:00

Why I don't have this desire to compete, to be the best in everything I do or at least be near the best? I like when I'm good at something, but it...

21alx

June 11, 2019

1 upvotes

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Post Information

Title	No desire to compete
Author	21alx
Upvotes	1
Comments	24
Date	June 11, 2019 8:08 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/bzhha5/no_desire_to_compete/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/no-desire-to-compete.241622 https://theredarchive.com/post/241622

Comments

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed[🍰] 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed[🍰] 6 points7 points8 points 7 years ago* (10 children) | Copy Link

Nobody can tell you that, but here's they way most people find their passion....

Try shit. Things you think you'd have an interest in. Always wanted to knit nursing nipple hats?

(I would ROCK one of these if anyone wants to throw an adult size one my way. I'm a white boob/pink nipple kind of tithead. Op, on second thought, you SHOULD start out doing this. I'll DM.)

Go to a knitting store, learn to knit. Join a group. Realize that's not for you afterall, but you met a single mom there that turned you onto ESTY. And anal. Knit some shitty Xmas sweaters and make an ETSY/Ebay account to sell them. That business needs some jingle bells and other related accessories, right? Start a dropship enterprise and make some money. Or fail and take a different path that doesn't involve novelty knitting at all.

The point is to start out on a path and walk. You'll soon come to a fork in the path and need to decide which way. Keep walking.

The more decisions you make, the more you'e almost unconsciously homing in on where you need to be. Sure, you'll fuck up and need to take the next few forks to get back to the last path.

The important thing is to keep walking.

"There's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path"

If you're lost for short term goal, "Make Money" is probably the best default. Many more paths are available to you when you achieve this goal.

Finally, a "purpose" has taken on this noble lofty proud ideal, a monolith standing high, admired by all who view it.

That's bluepill bullshit. Your purpose is your own. If my purpose in life is to collect the most bottlecaps in the world, then who's to say that's any better or worse than becoming a philanthropist on a personal level? Sure, one is better for society, but betterment of society is a very slippery foundation on which to lay your purpose in life.

[–]CarlosNeedsAHat2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

It's an issue. If you're not comfortable in your own skin, that gets telegraphed to everyone you meet.

Squatting your bodyweight is beginner level, but that's where you are. Learn form before adding weight.

There are five BIG reasons new weightlifters have problems.

1 - You simply don't have the accessory muscles to stabilize your joints to control the weight even if your prime movers have the raw strength. That's why free weights are gospel.

2 - Your neuromuscular recruitment pathways are untrained. Your body is constantly gauging how much force is needed to complete the task. That's how you can pick up a delicate wineglass without shattering it but also do one handed pullups. This requires repietition of the pathways so they learn the proper activation level. Go for a big personal best deadlift but your body only turns on 70% of the motor units? Not good.

3 - Lifting for Ego. You see the big bad beasts curling weight you'd struggle to get off the floor. It's very hard to lift for yourself when you think others are watching your every move due to spotlight effect. They're not. Nobody cares how much weight you're pushing. You're here, you're trying. Everybody was there once.

4 - Rushing the process. "Guys, I've been gymming for a whole month now and my weight is the same!!!" It takes time. Discipline and perseverance. Building a great body takes years. Years. You spent years getting to where you are now, changing that won't happen overnight.

5 - DIET. Critical. Absolutely critical. Learn to eat to reach what your goals are. Learn about protein, macros, fasting, loading,keto, everything you can from the most reputable sources you can. The mantra here is "You can't fix in the gym what you fuck up in the kitchen".

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]1900_year_old_vampire1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I think this is another problem. I can’t define my goals

Sure you can. You just believe that getting anything you dream about or desire is somehow, unrealistic. Because "I'm not good enough" or insert insecurity of choice here. So, you've hamstered it so much you reflexively avoid thinking about stuff like that at all. You believe you can't think about it.

See action X. Think- doing X is pretty cool.

Step 2) take actions to do X and stop making excuses. It's going to be difficult, it's going to be uncomfortable and scary. This is because comfort is having one foot in the grave already, just waiting for the dirt to start falling on your head. Which is where you're at right now.

How do you really find your real purpose?

Purpose is a feeling or sentiment and you can't simply find it in the outside world, or if you do, that's not true purposefulness and instrumentality. It's something you have to create inside yourself by exercising what MLK Jr called "Soul Force." That is, creative suffering and emotional struggle.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

well, it’s still unclear for me and I just fear that I will work for money, more than working on what I love.

Let me strainghten this out for you. Some day, you'll be in the position to be interviewing job candidates for the company you work for. Then you'll understand a little bit better how naive and neurotic this sounds.

Managers interviewing for jobs don't give a shit about what you love or what you find to be fun or exciting. They've got cash-value work tasks backed up which either nobody else in the company including the manger has the skills, knowledge and experience to do that, or else it's repetitive and time consuming and it's not worth the manager's time and money to do it himself, his salary is too high. This backup is costing the company time and money.

Sure they'd prefer someone who is enthusiastic about the particular type of tasks, but work is work and it's rarely something that isn't tedious in some way or another. This is why you need to pay other people to do it. they'll settle for someone who can merely tolerate it, and shows up every day.

Nobody will hire you to do something that's fun and exciting and passionate and fabulous that you absolutely love. It's almost never necessary to pay people to do things like that, in fact many people will pay you for the opportunity.

The latter tend to be called a "hobby."

It's OK if your mission is something that never pays the bills.

My dude, nobody is going to hire you to do things that are fun and exciting and passionate, because most people are willing to do those things for free.

[–]geismaikati0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]1900_year_old_vampire1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

i know people like this irl and it puzzles me. wish i had a direct answer for you but i only have my theories. i think its a self defense mechanism that stems from low self esteem. "cant lose if you dont compete", or some equally retarded bullshit along those lines. instead of taking responsibility for their lack of competence and the effort it takes to improve at shit, they take the easy road and just pretend to be cool with being a failure. sounds like a miserable existence to me. how to change it, i am not so sure. honestly strikes me as a medical issue, like the result of some real diagnosable mental disabilities, or a lifetime of traumatic abuse, or something equivalant to that. i think its something that will probably require a medical professional, or a near death experience, to really snap out of. no disrespect, obviously. this is just my theory

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]1900_year_old_vampire1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]1900_year_old_vampire1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link