I’m going fucking insane

hmsthinkingmeat · 2019-06-12T07:34:10+00:00

I heard something recommended to someone like yourself a while back and I thought it was a good idea.

The reason people feel social anxiety is pretty much the fear of rejection or not being accepted into a group, so when you do try and make connections it feels forced like you're really there to try and get something off them for your benefit. Which makes you feel worse and will probably become a self fulfilling prophecy.

So what was recommended was to turn that on it's head and go and do something somewhere, where you're there to give them something from you for their benefit.

Like volunteering at a soup kitchen, doing some charity work (volunteering to work in a charity shop is a good one), joining the picking up litter gang - anything you can think of where you're giving up your time to help someone else.

Then you will definitely be accepted into the group, you feel good because you're doing something constructive to help other people so you can just focus on being yourself with no social anxiety, and you get to meet the people in that group and will undoubtedly from there meet other people that they know, and also will meet even more people in the course of doing whatever it is you're doing.

It takes all the pressure off you trying to get them to accept you, and achieves your objective while also doing something useful.

Just don't end up being suckered into doing loads of other "good causes".

ElParagon · 2019-06-12T02:21:34+00:00

Bullshit you can't join clubs. Do you live in the middle of the rainforest?

Either join clubs at uni and hang around after class so you aren't commuting to and from campus all the time, or find clubs in your local area outside of uni.

Project_Zero_Betas · 2019-06-12T02:10:04+00:00

You're there to get good grades, not party. Don't buy into the Hollywood hype.

acp_rdit · 2019-06-12T03:21:26+00:00

mild social anxiety

Stop using this bullshit as an excuse to not try. Everyone has problems that they have to overcome. You aren't special.

[deleted] · 2019-06-12T03:42:48+00:00

Everybody has mild social anxiety.

My point is that the other people are a little scared too.

Look up meetups online or learn basic day game.

maljo24 · 2019-06-12T11:24:10+00:00

Get yourself busy. If you are close enough to go to school you are close enough to join clubs and sports. Get on an intramural basketball team, join the hiking or cycling club, join the school newspaper staff, get a part-time job, exercise, volunteer at a food bank. Meet people, stay busy, learn and grow. Don't focus on getting laid, focus on your other life's goals. In general universities have huge social opportunities. Don't make up lame excuses like "I live far away."

As per Woody Allen , "The only thing standing between you and success is you."

derwentsharpe · 2019-06-12T21:46:47+00:00

Get a job as a job as a waiter - it'll take care of your mild social anxiety, you can make fair spending money, you learn how to sell things, and in general it makes you a more understanding and patient person.

I know that it won't help your situation immediately, but waitering has fast tracked my social skills by a huuge amount. In the year I've worked front of house I've gone from timid and introverted to a cool, calm, and collected networking machine.

Title	I’m going fucking insane
Author	ElParagon
Upvotes	1
Comments	18
Date	June 12, 2019 1:54 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/bzl8ic/im_going_fucking_insane/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/im-going-fucking-insane.241655 https://theredarchive.com/post/241655

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