I just have a belief in the back of my mind that some girl will come to me and will understand and accept me for who I am. What do I do? I talk to girls about politics etc but they are always left leaning and go for the most dominating guys they don't even share anything in common with. Infact, I have talked to girls about values, ethics and religion but haven't found a girl who has any values or isn't against promiscuity or serial monogamy.

I feel that girls at my age (23) would have lost the ability to love as most of them have gone through so many relationships and one night stands however I still fell that I will get a conservative girl who has some values but I literally can't find anyone. Infact if I discuss my ideologies with my friends they call me a racist or a nazi.

Another problem I have is that I save money and invest in luxury brands. I have a passion for them since I was a kid. I spent all my earnings on them and nothing else gave me happiness. I thought they set me apart. However i went to interview for some luxury brands in Italy and France and found that they are run by the same left wing liberals who I don't get along with. Infact, my OCD has gotten so bad that I look through as many LinkedIn and Facebook profiles of the people working at the brand before buying anything. I do this to know about their political inclinations.

Thirdly, when I was in Sweden and Netherlands I saw a lot of hot women with violent kind of Arab guys. To my surprise these girls had converted to Islam too and their kids were being raised Muslims. Unfortunately, due to my porn fantasies I found it really degrading that the women were doing this but I got turned on in a weird way when I learnt from Swedish women that Arab refugees were very rough in bed and the girls actually liked it. I went on tinder creating fake accounts and setting my location to , Sweden and other countries I had been to like Spain and started getting turned on when the girls told me they fucked muslim guys who were very rough with them. This gave me some sort of immediate excitement followed by depression etc knowing that even after staying in Europe for long I had only fucked 3 girls in 5 years. I still have this stupid OCD and my brain has become a porn movie. I have more than 3000 screenshots of women detailing their wildest of sexual encounters with these guys.

P.s I may sound insane but I have noone to talk to hence my thoughts might be messed up