I realize most of what I'm about to say will be common knowledge for most of the guys on this sub, but this post is for the newly initiated so they can recognize where things are going wrong in their own relationships.
For a little background, my last relationship was four years long, two of which we were living together. We got together when I was 26 and broke up when I was almost 30. She was 26 when we broke up.
I was raised by my prototypical beta dad and red pill mom, alongside three wretched sisters. Needless to say I was fucked from the get go. I just saw my dad for the first time in a year after taking TRP and it's painful how beta he is. He's from the boomer generation and had my poor farmer mother latch onto him early to ride the gravy train. He's completely clueless.
So my idea of how relationships worked was based on this traditional model that has been outdated for some time now and because of that, I was very confused in every LTR I entered. I thought that if I treated my girlfriend well (bought her stuff, did as she asked, supplicated, gave lots of affection, provided for her, helped out around the house), stayed in shape, never made her jealous and maintained a good job I would be rewarded with her loyalty, sex and a family at some point in the future. That's the way it worked for my dad. It didn't work for me.
I was so confused because I was knocking all of these attributes that I thought I needed out of the park but was being treated like shit in return. I was a Petroleum Technologist working for a big oil and gas corporation making well into the six figures, I was good looking, athletic and ripped, I helped out around the house, I listened to all of her life problems and provided advice/support, I acted like I enjoyed the company of all her horrible friends, I went on the trips she wanted to go on, etc. What did I get in return? Complete lack of respect, no sex, nagging, and having to tolerate her atrocious behavior.
She was an extroverted party girl that had already banged 14 guys by the age of 21, which of course I thought was ok at the time. She would go out to bars and flirt with guys, she would flirt with guys at work (she was a bartender) and any time I would get upset about all of this bad behavior she flipped it on me by saying I was insecure and that I didn't trust her. There was even a time where she went out on a few dates with this asian guy "as friends" and again made it seem like I was the weird one for questioning this behavior.
As the relationship progressed the nagging increased to the point where I'd rather just be alone and the sex decreased in stride with every bump in nagging. I'm sure there's a mathematical formula that describes the amount of nagging in your relationship and the resulting amount of sex.
Near the end of the relationship she had made a few new slutty friends that she was spending ever more time with at the bars and different parties while investing less and less into the relationship. To make things even more confusing we were looking at buying a condo together and even on the brink of a break up she was still adamant about buying a place together.
The relationship ended when she went home for Christmas and cheated on me with her ex boyfriend. She told me he had the biggest cock she's ever seen. I appreciated that little detail. After feeling suspicious for a few months after she returned, I went through her phone and found out about the cheating through her text messages with a friend.
To summarize I'll put some of my thoughts on relationships into point form (feel free to add to the list):
The relationship needs to start with her in your frame, never the reverse.
Don't let her flip her bad behavior on you by saying you're being jealous and insecure.
Instill dread when the opportunity presents itself but don't go out of your way to do so. If she senses you're trying to make her jealous it looses the effect.
If going out with her friends seems like more of a priority than being with you, something is wrong.
Trust your instincts. I knew something was wrong but I ignored my gut because of my scarcity mentality. My girlfriend was really hot and fun to be with so I let things slide and eventually it snowballed out of control. There are other girls that are hot and fun.
If her career and social life are more important than building a life with you, something is wrong.
Be very skeptical of girls with high notch counts.
Don't think you're safe because you have a good job, you're in good shape, and you look good. You need frame and the alpha attitude.
It's taken me a long time to rid myself of beta behavior but I'm making progress everyday in the hopes that my next relationship will be a healthy and happy one. Here's to all of you trying to do the same.