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A look inside my old blue pill relationships

by slay_it_forward | November 15, 2014 | TheRedPill

25 upvotes

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I realize most of what I'm about to say will be common knowledge for most of the guys on this sub, but this post is for the newly initiated so they can recognize where things are going wrong in their own relationships.

For a little background, my last relationship was four years long, two of which we were living together. We got together when I was 26 and broke up when I was almost 30. She was 26 when we broke up.

I was raised by my prototypical beta dad and red pill mom, alongside three wretched sisters. Needless to say I was fucked from the get go. I just saw my dad for the first time in a year after taking TRP and it's painful how beta he is. He's from the boomer generation and had my poor farmer mother latch onto him early to ride the gravy train. He's completely clueless.

So my idea of how relationships worked was based on this traditional model that has been outdated for some time now and because of that, I was very confused in every LTR I entered. I thought that if I treated my girlfriend well (bought her stuff, did as she asked, supplicated, gave lots of affection, provided for her, helped out around the house), stayed in shape, never made her jealous and maintained a good job I would be rewarded with her loyalty, sex and a family at some point in the future. That's the way it worked for my dad. It didn't work for me.

I was so confused because I was knocking all of these attributes that I thought I needed out of the park but was being treated like shit in return. I was a Petroleum Technologist working for a big oil and gas corporation making well into the six figures, I was good looking, athletic and ripped, I helped out around the house, I listened to all of her life problems and provided advice/support, I acted like I enjoyed the company of all her horrible friends, I went on the trips she wanted to go on, etc. What did I get in return? Complete lack of respect, no sex, nagging, and having to tolerate her atrocious behavior.

She was an extroverted party girl that had already banged 14 guys by the age of 21, which of course I thought was ok at the time. She would go out to bars and flirt with guys, she would flirt with guys at work (she was a bartender) and any time I would get upset about all of this bad behavior she flipped it on me by saying I was insecure and that I didn't trust her. There was even a time where she went out on a few dates with this asian guy "as friends" and again made it seem like I was the weird one for questioning this behavior.

As the relationship progressed the nagging increased to the point where I'd rather just be alone and the sex decreased in stride with every bump in nagging. I'm sure there's a mathematical formula that describes the amount of nagging in your relationship and the resulting amount of sex.

Near the end of the relationship she had made a few new slutty friends that she was spending ever more time with at the bars and different parties while investing less and less into the relationship. To make things even more confusing we were looking at buying a condo together and even on the brink of a break up she was still adamant about buying a place together.

The relationship ended when she went home for Christmas and cheated on me with her ex boyfriend. She told me he had the biggest cock she's ever seen. I appreciated that little detail. After feeling suspicious for a few months after she returned, I went through her phone and found out about the cheating through her text messages with a friend.

To summarize I'll put some of my thoughts on relationships into point form (feel free to add to the list):

  • The relationship needs to start with her in your frame, never the reverse.

  • Don't let her flip her bad behavior on you by saying you're being jealous and insecure.

  • Instill dread when the opportunity presents itself but don't go out of your way to do so. If she senses you're trying to make her jealous it looses the effect.

  • If going out with her friends seems like more of a priority than being with you, something is wrong.

  • Trust your instincts. I knew something was wrong but I ignored my gut because of my scarcity mentality. My girlfriend was really hot and fun to be with so I let things slide and eventually it snowballed out of control. There are other girls that are hot and fun.

  • If her career and social life are more important than building a life with you, something is wrong.

  • Be very skeptical of girls with high notch counts.

  • Don't think you're safe because you have a good job, you're in good shape, and you look good. You need frame and the alpha attitude.

It's taken me a long time to rid myself of beta behavior but I'm making progress everyday in the hopes that my next relationship will be a healthy and happy one. Here's to all of you trying to do the same.


Post Information
Title A look inside my old blue pill relationships
Author slay_it_forward
Upvotes 25
Comments 41
Date 15 November 2014 08:05 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/24924
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2meks8/a_look_inside_my_old_blue_pill_relationships/
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Comments

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy

"Skeptical"

Don't ever trust a whore, a whore is a whore is a whore and remember the art of whore:

http://imgur.com/3edQoQO

Glad you made it brah

[–]GregariousWolf 11 points11 points [recovered] | Copy

I'm sure there's a mathematical formula that describes the amount of nagging in your relationship and the resulting amount of sex.

The term you are looking for is inversely proportional.

[–] points points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]slay_it_forward[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

It was over a year ago and I still get the odd email...but I ignore them.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm sure there's a mathematical formula that describes the amount of nagging in your relationship and the resulting amount of sex.

I thought I'd take the initiative:

nsex∝ xnagging3

Amount of sex received is inversely proportional to amount of nagging cubed

[–]slay_it_forward[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Should be inversely proportional...no?

[–]teeelo2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Instill dread when the opportunity presents itself but don't go out of your way to do so. If she senses you're trying to make her jealous it looses the effect.

Well said. And a good post all around. Most noobs come here after a few days and post a Friggen blog entry about their Beta Behavior followed by their revelations and finish it with a thank you.

Your post was pretty short, to the point, well structured and finished with several good lessons and reminders. Keep it up and I'm glad you found this place before it was too too late.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Seems like dread game applied early on would have done a lot of good. I don't have much experience with long relationships so I find these sort of posts very fascinating. Thanks for sharing.

[–]denmaur2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm curious about who initiated the break up. I hope it was you after her fling with the huge cock.

[–]slay_it_forward[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

I moved out after finding out about John Holmes

[–]1Trellink2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

That was adding insult to injury, man. Proof positive she was just being hurtful. Likely not even true: she just wanted an excuse she thought you'd buy.

[–]LifeAtPeace2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Trust your instincts. I knew something was wrong but I ignored my gut because of my scarcity mentality.

This, my friend, is the mistake most of us make. We ignore all our screaming instincts about the woman and trust her blindly. If you have feeling that something about her is wrong, pay attention and find out if your instinct is correct. That will save you a lot of time and energy.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I feel for you man, thanks for sharing your story and giving insight to the new ones. I hope you can get your stuff straight and this never happens again.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I thought that if I treated my girlfriend well (bought her stuff, did as she asked, supplicated, gave lots of affection, provided for her, helped out around the house), stayed in shape, never made her jealous and maintained a good job I would be rewarded with her loyalty, sex and a family at some point in the future. That's the way it worked for my dad. It didn't work for me.

At least you were right about one thing.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"if her career and social life are more important than building a life with you, something is wrong."

while correct in this situation, this really depends on the length of relationship and the depth of the pair bond. you can't expect a girl to latch onto every cock she sees without having a plan C to take care of herself if things go awry

oh, plan B = orbiters

[–]justbeaman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Glad you made it. "She told me he had the biggest cock she's ever seen. I appreciated that little detail." This line made me laugh more than it should have. Glad you see the funny side.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

i wouldn't say you went full beta..after all,i didn't read where you married the girl..



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