1. Be Attractive
  2. Don't be unattractive

Dating is surprisingly simple, the first rule is pretty straightforward as to what sorts of things should we be doing to build value in ourselves. People are motivated by self-interest, if your value aligns with their self interest as a person then a baseline of attraction is met.

However a lot of guys don't quite understand that the second rule is not a re-instatement of the first; It's referencing the things you don't do in order to preserve the value you already have.

Following rule one is fairly simple and usually can be fulfilled with aesthetic elements such as being in shape, dressing well, being well groomed, being financially stable, etc... etc... ad nauseam.

The second rule isn't as straightforward; these are the kinds of things you would do that would act against the self interest in your potential suiters:

  • Being cruel or mean to others
  • Narcissistic
  • Inability to listen
  • Can't see other points of view

Before bUt MuH nO mOrAlIzInG is dogmatically chanted in the comments, try to think about the people who are interested in you. Are they primarily interested in you, or secondarily interested in you - putting their own self interests first?

What would be seemingly obvious goes ignored obviously at a high cost, often at our own expense. Try to think about entering a business contract where your partner is: Mean and cruel to you, Narcissistic; doesn't listen to you, nor can they see your point of view. As you could imagine, someone with these traits is breaking Rule 2: Don't be unattractive. These sorts of 'qualities' are things that subtract from your value. If we could suppose for a moment that casual dating is the business of entertainment, and both parties undergo some sort of social contract to partake it in, you should understand that the terms you set might go against the self interest of the people you're trying to attract.

Lastly, there is a concern with self preservation, as demonstrated in the Prisoners Dilemma, where if both people choose what's worst for the other person than everybody get's fucked (not in the way we're looking for either). This is where the concern for Rule 2 comes in as part of the social contract of casual sex. If you want to be apart of the causal sex dating group, you need to uphold the social contract of casually fucking. Break the rules and you're out of the group. Just like any other social group.

Good luck boys and happy hunting.