Capt & I are having a crazy busy week and this morning in particular is hectic (lots of work, friends visiting, I desperately need to do laundry and tidy up) but I just had to take a minute and tell y'all that implementing my own version of RPW thinking in our relationship has given us an incredibly beautiful couple weeks.

3 big changes in particular:

1 "the STFU method" to borrow /u/mssadiedunham 's term

We fight so much less, my man feels so much more appreciated, and my eyes have been opened to how often I take out unrelated frustrations on my poor BF. Am I neurotic about everything from his past to my past to whether all my colleague secretly hate me to whether he really "loves me" up to some random XYZ standard? Yes, my brain contains a perpetual hamster on Red Bull and it's hard to change my wiring at this point. But do I have to inflict those fears on him? Absolutely not. He's proven himself time and again to be spectacularly, singularly devoted and patient and tender, and my hamstering and shittests just makes it harder for me to enjoy those qualities which in turn makes me more prone to hamstering and shittests!

When I STFU and enjoy who he is and what he does, I feel amazing and loved, and he feels recognized and rewarded.

He can go literally months without saying anything critical and hurtful to me - the least I could do is try to STFU for a week and see what it taught me!

2 constantly reminding him I respect him

I had forgotten what a badass my man is, in all of our anxiety around $ and career and my constantly comparing him to other men around us. It was amazing the effect a few words of support had! He's been given a ton more responsibility at work and I can see the increased confident with which he carries himself these days, and I'm so excited to feed that and support that. It sounds weird but cuddling next to him and watching him work for even 30 min gave me a renewed appreciation of his competence and brilliance (helps that I have a lil context to understand his field and job).

3 doing the little things at home with more joy and intention

Bringing him tea, setting out his PJ's.... I was doing this stuff anyway but doing it with more care, attention, and just purpose has made a small but meaningful difference in our routine. Had to ask him to tidy up earlier this week (he had an evening free and I did not) and we were both amused at his shock and the fact that he no longer knew where anything went b/c I've been handling it for a while now.

Anyway, although a lot of stressful events have happened (work stuff, weird health issues, OCD/mental health issues acting up, minor car accident, friends on couch, all of which have combined to sadly put a dent in hanky panky time, the one missing element RN) weirdly, he and I have been so happy within our relationship, and RPW has really contributed to that!