The summary of my life so far:

(Ramble-y sorry)

Currently 20. Almost 21

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Had my first boyfriend ages 18-20

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Broke up due to familial reasons

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Felt guilt for not being a good girlfriend, still do. He, however, thinks I'm the best thing to have ever happened to him and he is upset over never finding someone better

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He's a lot less social than I am. He has the capabilities for sure, but he's introverted and prefers to be alone. However, he would be lonely if I wasn't around. We see each other 5 days a week. When we were dating we saw each other every day. It hurt me a lot when I had to negotiate having the weekends to myself after we broke up

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He moved to my city away from his family (despite me telling him NOT to move here for me). He's here for another year

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I now have a crush on someone else (30m), but I can't be with them anyway until the professional relationship changes. I have a feeling he likes me too, but

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I want to stay close friends with my ex because I don't want him to feel upset or lonely. I also, admittedly, want to make up for all my wrongs. So I'm thinking of postponing relationships for his sake

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But I also feel bad over this lost opportunity... My crush knows I like him, and he wants to discuss it after the professional relationship is gone. He also knows about my situation with my ex.

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I don't know. It's a mess. My emotions are always high about this whenever I have a good time conversating with the crush. But the thing is... when i thought about potentially having to tell my ex that Ive found someone else, i actually had a mini-panic

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Also if this is relevant info: I'm not into casual sex, and I get really attached to people. I also feel like I'd be a horrible person if I reject the crush. It's like a no-win situation for me. I'm a people's pleaser (i suppose) and I have a hard time saying no to things. I can see myself agreeing to something casual if he asked for it. Not because im crazily into the idea but because i feel like id be horrible by staying just friends with him in that case

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What should I do? Im considering just being close with my ex whilst focusing on my studies. Hed be moving away in a year's time and we do plan on mostly cutting ties by then