Can we create a comprehensive list on self-talk for maintaining frame and keeping self worth?

CallMeJamarcus · 2014-12-18T03:35:01+00:00

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User-31f64a4e · 2014-12-18T05:53:14+00:00

Remember, you don't have to be perfect.

I think a lot of struggle with inner validation, etc. comes from thinking you have to be perfect. You don't.

A lot of social issues then come from knowing you're not perfect, thinking you have to be, and trying to fake it. Some of the OP sounds related to that as well.

Just chillax, and straight up own the fact that you're not superman and you don't care that you're not.

Then just go about your business, whatever you want to do. Which since you no longer need the appearance of perfection, you can make the mistakes needed to learn and take the time to get through the beginner stages of whatever.

And once you have that self acceptance from dropping your standards, frame is easy too because without inner shame, it is not natural to put up with shit that you don't deserve.

Pornography_saves_li · 2014-12-18T05:22:05+00:00

Maintain a sense of perspective. Is that really big guy likely to kick your ass? Back down, no point in proving you can take a beating. Does it happen a lot? Examine your personality / work out as required.

That woman with the great ass you didn't approach out of fear, is she the ONLY woman with a great ass, or have you invested too much in her already? Got shot down instead? Maybe she has a cute friend. Is there any harm in finding out?

If you're looking for a job or can take a job for shits n giggles, try selling cars. Sales is exactly like pickup, its just (usually) non sexual. Do it long enough to get sick of hearing the same objections over and over.

Then go to a nightclub and listen to the women.

Believe me, your perspective will change.

MoreThanMan · Thu Dec 18 5:32:43 2014 UTC

Take a pause before replying / reacting (3-5 second pause will do).
Use that pause to ask yourself "is it really worth my time?".
If no, ignore.
If yes, think if that helps you gain something. If no ignore. Most of the time we feel something is important but that add no fucking value.
If you think think it's worth your time and adds value, go with the intention of getting what you were seeking, nothing less.

With practice of only two days this whole process happens very fast and automatically.

oldredder · 2014-12-18T08:18:37+00:00

how about... "reduce self-talk. Visualize, without words, your goals & the path to them. Then DO it".

Just keep adding detail until the picture is clear, the path is clear. Harder to argue with pictures, complete or incomplete, when no words are involved.

oldredder · 2014-12-18T08:22:29+00:00

but I didn't find much on maintaining self-worth/confidence so that you: a) respect and value others but still manage to respect and value yourself

That's because the complex interplay of intellect, social dominance & current levels of value for your self & each other in your life PLUS the rate at which those change all come into play like a complex mathematical formula & almost no one here is smart enough to even consider it much less talk about it with each other.

don't need to compare yourself to other men or evaluate yourself in that sense when you are in a social setting

That's wrong-headed. You always must compare yourself & your actions to everyone else including your past-self, your future-self in many iterations, or you lack introspective understanding - then you're stuck trying to build a house without even a concept of what bricks are. You can't get anything accomplished that way.

receive inner validation

Don't. Make yourself externally valuable in every way possible & inner-validation is not needed at all. As it happens there is no way to become externally valuable in accomplishments for physique, intellect & balanced social interaction without actually increasing all internal value as per emotional balancing, introspection & intellectual exploration (that may never turn into a material gain in the real world).

ProductivityMonster · 2014-12-18T05:10:51+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2014-12-18T09:25:03+00:00

[permanently deleted]

rpscrote · 2014-12-18T18:51:33+00:00

One tip: don't be concerned with being "Respected." That's a thing women demand "you have to respect me!!1!!!1" No.

Respect is earned. So, concern yourself with the process of earning respect. If you don't have respect, it's not because you're not worthy of it (or maybe it is... self-awareness will let you know) rather it is because you haven't earned it in the situation. You will feel confident when you know you conduct your life at all times in a way that would earn you respect if someone were watching, regardless if they are watching or not. Ultimately, you find you are your own observer.

So follow up. If you've always wanted to write a novel, start writing. You will not respect yourself for not taking the risks you know deep down you want to take. "What if I had started that novel..." leads to low self worth. "I busted my ass on that novel, even if it didn't get published..." leads to self-respect.

A parable from the law world from when Robert McNamara was Secretary of Defense (quoting from Curmudgeon's Guide to Practicing Law, a very RP book):

An aide brought McNamara a memo. 2 weeks later McNamara demanded: "Is this the best you can do?" The aide apologized profusely. He revised the draft for more than a week, and left the new version of McNamara's desk. Two days later McNamara again called the aide: "Is this really the best you can do?"

The aide apologized even more profusely this time. "Oh no, Mr. McNamara, it's not the best I can do. Let me get you another draft." The aide worked furiously on the memo all weekend. He polished the draft until it glittered. On Monday morning, the aide left his jewel on McNamara's desk. That afternoon, McNamara called again: "Do you really mean to say this is the best you can do?" The aide exploded. "Yes, dammit, that's the best I can do! That's the best I can do, what do you want out of me? That's the best I can do!"

McNamara nodded. "Okay. Now I'll read it."

When you are doing your best you will naturally respect yourself more

Dr_Wally · 2014-12-18T13:10:42+00:00

Sometimes when you are in situations it's best not to say anything at all.

FormerBluepiller · 2014-12-18T11:53:02+00:00

You need a checklist on how to be self confident? Fuck man you have a lot of work to do.

Title	Can we create a comprehensive list on self-talk for maintaining frame and keeping self worth?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	29
Comments	24
Date	December 18, 2014 2:46 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2pn6m7/can_we_create_a_comprehensive_list_on_selftalk/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/can-we-create-a-comprehensive-list-on-self-talk.26558 https://theredarchive.com/post/26558

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