When I was about 14, an adult was being a little too chummy with me. He made me giggle. He gave me a biscuit. I felt happy. But I don't know why I was feeling that way. Like I was happy that he was giving me attention. But I don't understand why I was feeling that way. And I don't know what he was doing. But I was happy.

Moments later, my father scolded me because I was a little too chummy with him. Why I was flirting the guy. The guy is married. But all I did was giggle. I was too young to be flirting. That's when I learned the word flirting. I couldn't answer. I felt ashamed because I giggle. I felt betrayed, why would he do that when he was married? And was I really flirting?

The next time the guy saw me, he asked why I wouldn't talk to him. I just gave him the mean look I couldn't even iterate what he did wrong.

Looking back, my father should not have scolded me. I was 14 ffs. Why put the blame on me? It was cruel and it was wrong. If anything he should have approached the guy to stay away from me. He's an adult. The responsibility to stop being flirty with a minor should have been his burden.

I have since forgiven my father for that, he may have reacted in the only way he know to protect me. And I have forgiven myself for the shame and guilt.

But you know what, it was just the beginning of the many more harassment and abuses from other men later in life.

So if a man is reading this, to answer your question, who hurt me? The answer is your kind. There's not enough holy water in the world to cleanse away the sins of your brothers. For many years, it is the men who perpetrated harassment, sexual assault, and domestic violence to women. So we will not say "not all men" because by excusing one of you, we will be taking away responsibility off your hands. It is time for you to step up, recognize and apologize for all the wrongdoings you men has committed on us. The power dynamics is greatly skewed towards your favor. By recognizing that we are the vulnerable group, that's the only way you can effect change, starting from yourself, then your sons and the next generation of sons.