I am marked as useless by my peers and teachers at my university. What should I do?

Appex1 · 2020-09-24T11:27:10+00:00

[deleted]

IXseed · 2020-09-24T11:54:48+00:00

I know I could've just pulled myself and done something about it instead of being such a loser. But the damage is done

This is exactly why you're a loser. You have an issue and you think that you're too far gone to fix it. You walk down the same street with a hole in it and keep falling in it yet somehow it's not your fault.

The first step is acceptance. It is your fault. Understand it. Realize you need to change. Then, start making the efforts to do so.

abe_south · 2020-09-24T14:00:09+00:00

I recently graduated from computer science and I have in many group works been at the opposite side: me doing all the work and someone else just freeriding. No excuse is good enough. You like CS but 'didn't feel motivated'? Get your dick out of your vagina boy.

Here are two scenarios you can follow:

You want to be in CS but you don't really want it. It's not that you don't care, it's just that you're feeling "meh, if they do it, fine for me". In the coming years, your grades will be shit, you will feel shit, you will have less and less friends. You think things will change with finding a job, only at this point you realize you're actually worthless. You having nothing to show on your resume, your grades are far from optimal, your skills laughable. You'll be following the same pattern in the first job you got because you've never taught yourself anything else. You'll feel bad at the job, you'll alienate yourself from your working colleagues, you'll get mediocre reviews until you get fired. You end up as an IT guy in a highschool where all you have to do is plug in a pc once in a while. Your skills degrade further until you're unemployable. Your life is shit, you life in a shithole, your one friend is shit. You rot away.
You come to terms with the fact that you've been a complete asshole, that you could have changed way earlier but that you didn't. More importantly, one year from now you'll be able to look back and see... what? Hopefully a guy who fucking did something about it. Because the truth is your lack of motivation is a big excuse for pretty much anything you do in life. You'll stop hiding. You're gonna have to put yourself out there. When you work with someone in a group or even when it's not mandatory just helping each other out on individual tasks, start by expressing yourself. The first thing you should be saying when you get into a group project is that you want to help but you need guidance and structure and it would be great if they can help you define clear things for you to do and help you follow up on it. God, if some of these freeriding assholes would just tell me that I would've gladly do a little more to get them on track and involved than to just hide and hope we'll let them put their name on the work. Taking action begins with accepting you'll fail a lot and you'll hate yourself over it. But the key is that you only fail if you quit. Even if you make mistakes, dont meet deadlines etc, keep communicating, keep participating, keep showing up, keep telling people you want to be better and you would love help.

So choose: be the outsider, hate yourself some more and become a plant reacting to his environment, or take initiative in the world around you, reach out, be uncertain, make a fool out of yourself for trying and laugh if you look foolish.

A last word: you need to actively motivate yourself. And more importantly, just like with sport: mostly motivation is a result of it, not a beginning to start from. Same with CS: if you do stuff, you'll become motivated. Don't look for the sugar like a little bitch.

jhx264 · 2020-09-24T14:38:20+00:00

Why are you such a piece of shit?

OccultGrinder · 2020-09-24T19:58:13+00:00

I'm studying computer science, which I actually find pretty interesting, however, whenever we had group projects I almost did nothing because I didn't feel motivated because it happened virtually and because of other things.

Now everybody knows that I've been pretty much useless and nobody wants to work with me anymore.

That's the natural consequence of your actions. This is a part of a long history for you.

So here's what you need to do. You need to stop worrying about this one particular situation and instead start worrying about why you don't have any drive to do well at the things you're doing. That's the core issue that's been there from the beginning.

The two most common possibilities are:

You don't give a shit about what you're doing, in which case you should do something else that you give a shit about.
Your hormones are off or something else is medically off (blood work can help with this).

This is a problem with a solution, but you need to make sure that you're attacking the actual problem and not just a symptom of the problem.

Noodlesoupe2 · 2020-09-25T01:55:50+00:00

So you were a lazy fuck and didn’t expect any consequences?

throwitdownman · 2020-09-24T14:15:05+00:00

Have you thought about transferring to another university for a fresh start? Your situation sounds hopeless. Labels stick and don’t tend to change.

Title	I am marked as useless by my peers and teachers at my university. What should I do?
Author	Appex1
Upvotes	0
Comments	12
Date	September 24, 2020 11:25 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/iyveig/i_am_marked_as_useless_by_my_peers_and_teachers/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-am-marked-as-useless-by-my-peers-and-teachers-at.269210 https://theredarchive.com/post/269210

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