Help from the oneitis

red_philosopher · 2019-09-30T02:18:29+00:00

There's nothing wrong with "catching feels" for someone. It's natural and normal.

Though, you not liking her fucking other dudes? That's because you have insecurities you haven't weeded out yet. You know there's a literally a zillion other women who are just as hot and just as sweet and just as willing to suck you off.

Admittedly, it does suck having an investment get pissed on down the road, and nobody likes that, but ultimately if you can't handle giving of yourself freely, you probably shouldn't be in the game. You're too worried about whether or not she's going to stick around, which poisons you and your relationship with her.

She doesn't want to earn your commitment, so focus your efforts elsewhere.

vomit_romney · 2019-09-30T02:56:30+00:00

Abundance mentality. Do you have it? You say you "have 2 other young plates", but do you really? My experience is that the best antibiotic to oneitis is abundance. If your other plates exist, spend more time with them and find one or two new ones.
Watch what she does not what she says. Are you? So she wants to spend all kinds of time with you but says are we cool fucking other people. Make no mistake she's trying to get her hooks in.

Oneitis is natural and insidious to all males, you have to fight it hard. The WORST thing you can do is feed it man. But it appears this is more than a plate to you. Sounds like you need to make a decision on whether she's being promoted to your harem or perhaps you let that one fall off and break?

Try grey-ghosting her for 4-5 days. Then re-evaluate.

BeeBopJoe · 2019-09-30T04:27:15+00:00

I suggest you slowly start detaching yourself from her dude, thats the best way for feeligns to disapear.

Bornagainslayer · 2019-09-30T05:12:15+00:00

Tell her that she can no longer fuck other men, if she doesn’t accept that then the plate breaks, if she does then happy you. Whether she actually stops fucking other men is a seperate issue but you’ve made how you feel about it clear.

Stop believing this feminist horse shit about double standards not being ok. You are a man and you can have as many double standards as you want

Spets87 · 2019-10-01T02:24:30+00:00

Thanks guys. I guess the hardest part to get my head around is the duplicity nature of females: lovey-dovey when together, riding other Chads when not.

MotiMorphosys · 2019-09-30T03:13:32+00:00

"I told her we are more than fuck buddies" big mistake. You using a term like "fuck buddies" validates the idea that she deserves more than you're giving her.

Sometimes I get invested in a plate and worried about losing her. I dread the "so what are we" conversation. I ALWAYS practice it in my head.

Not sure how much you've let her into your life, but plates as a rule: Don't spend the night Don't get added on social media (except Snapchat) Don't get traditional dates (dinner, movie, etc)

If you've done these things with her then you will probably not be able to treat the "what are we" conversation like a shit test and agree and amplify, so you haveto be ready to have the conversation.

"I'm not ready for a relationship right now" is always a good place to start. It's also honest. I typically talk about how I'm focusing on improving myself and then offer to dial back our "relationship" to no sex. This disappoints her. When she suggests things that aren't sex I tend to be too busy and eventually she will get horny and come over for sex and then the conversation is on hold indefinitely.

The longest I've had the above situation last is 5 months.

Title	Help from the oneitis
Author	Spets87
Upvotes	3
Comments	7
Date	September 30, 2019 2:08 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/db4vcr/help_from_the_oneitis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/help-from-the-oneitis.287128 https://theredarchive.com/post/287128

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