I always have to initiate meet ups with my gf. Good thing or bad thing?

MattyAnon · 2019-09-29T21:40:56+00:00

One thing that kind of bothers me though is that I have to initiate everything. She won't ask me to do things or come over. She won't come over to my place unless I tell her to. It's like she's waiting for my commands, always.

Yeah, they start out passive.

Personally I've got no time for that shit..... once you're seeing a girl regularly, things should be a lot closer to 50-50 on the things you care about.

Is this a good or bad thing and should I worry? It gets old.

It matters to YOU, so it's a bad thing.

As I say, I hate that passive shit. I gradually decrease my efforts over time with girls: attractive girls don't initiate from the start, but I'm not going to do all the work forever. I gradually decrease my initiation efforts between meetings from 100% down to a random 50% over perhaps 10 meetings.

This works very well: the passive ones don't pick up the slack, and I go spend time with girls who actually make an effort.

In your case OP - it's not gonna change. She simply won't/can't initiate. If you ask her to, she'll say "ok, when exactly should I do that?" and "how do I know what and when to set something up?" and "what if you don't want to?" and "I'm always happy to do anything you ask, just tell me".

In other words, it's how she is. Personally I fucking hate that, but your decision is basically take it or leave it.

Having said that, it might be worth a try to encourage her to be less passive. It's just unlikely to work.

Schhwing · 2019-09-30T01:29:19+00:00

Depends how she responds when you initiate

BeeBopJoe · 2019-09-30T04:33:23+00:00

Did u speak to her about it? Some girls are just lazy in that regards, its not a big deal though.

papunigga031 · 2019-09-30T07:29:02+00:00

She’s just not that interested. Next.

datnigga12 · 2019-09-29T20:13:52+00:00

Youre the man, you're supposed to initiate almost everything. Take initiative. If shes as submissive as you describe then shes most likely just following your lead. It depends also is she always free when you initiate the meet up. Does she show you she misses you? If so, think you're too much in your head.

Title	I always have to initiate meet ups with my gf. Good thing or bad thing?
Author	01741
Upvotes	2
Comments	5
Date	September 29, 2019 8:08 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/db0gdf/i_always_have_to_initiate_meet_ups_with_my_gf/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-always-have-to-initiate-meet-ups-with-my-gf-good.287145 https://theredarchive.com/post/287145

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