First things first, make your jokes about thinking about me wanting it the other way around or something, I'm sure they'll be hilarious. Then please answer the question if you have the knowledge and experience.

In all seriousness, I never wanted to fuck a woman in the ass (or anyone in the ass to be clear) until more recently as I'm getting more and more experienced and the older things seem less novel and mostly because I want to have a warm place to nut without having to worry about if the condom broke (this happened once and I've been pulling out+condom ever since). That being said, I tried it for the first time (for both of us, that probably matters) with a plate, but it's really fucking difficult to do. She complains it hurts, it doesn't feel too much different for me except it's harder to go fast. She's probably clenching a bit and having a hard time relaxing I think. It feels a lot less intuitive for me on how to position her for both ease of entry and enjoyment than regular sex. I don't know if there's a difference in how to handle it to be perfectly honest.

I initially tried looking it up Google but the majority of results are cosmopolitan or askmen *cough soyboys cough* and I doubt the utility from these sources unless I suddenly change my hair blue and start taking female hormones. Basically, I'd like to know what positions make anal easier and more enjoyable. Yes I plan to get lube as well.