Dating apps for Christians?

Deep_Strength · 2019-10-13T15:45:07+00:00

I tried Christian Mingle for a month or two. I'm not conventionally attractive so I sent something like 150 messages, had about 8 people respond, 3 longer convos, and 1 date. She seemed like a Christian with values, but I wasn't feeling it after meeting her so it didn't go anywhere.

Online dating generally is not worth it unless you're conventionally attractive and you can communicate very effectively through text (hint: most men can't). Even so, the amount of Christian women on them might be sparse and possibly filled with a lot of women who are just Sunday only Christians. Have to be careful

IMO you're better off in the real world working on leadership, charisma, and social skills and demonstrating through your God-given mission and excellence.

zblackboxz · 2019-10-13T21:00:20+00:00

A little over a year ago, I subscribed to Christian Mingle for two months at $50/mo. During that time, I sent a lot of Likes, a lot of "smiles", and a lot of "So tell me about your testimony." openers. Compared to your Average-Joe, I got decent traction - bearing in mind that your Average-Joe gets next to nothing.

My "decent traction" amounted to a lot of pleasant (and time-consuming) internet conversations. A small handful of those pleasant internet conversations I converted into more "intentional" or "forward moving" relationships. When possible, this would mean meeting up in person. But often times this wasn't possible, so it would be a phone call.

Of that small handful of girls who I essentially "pursued", one ghosted me before our first phone call (don't let them find your un-groomed facebook profile before they actually see you). Another cut things off after a couple of dates - which was much needed mercy from God. Yet another was just plainly out of my league, but might not have been in the right context, and she cut things off after the first date. One lived in the Philippines and I have no idea why I even bothered to entertain the idea to begin with. I may have forgotten a couple others, but I'm digressing.

Towards the end of my second month of subscription, I had trawled through just about every profile on that site. I was beginning to lose hope when a new profile popped up. She and I talked through the site at first, I decided that she was worth the time, so we started texting. She revealed some very interesting traits about herself and we went further. We had a phone call, then another and another. Then we had a video call. Then there were plane tickets.

Now there aren't any more plane tickets to see her. We were just recently married and she's napping in the other room.

I wouldn't recommend Online Dating, per se. On RPC there's a lot of talk about the weaknesses of Online Dating and Long Distance Relationships, and I can say those weaknesses were present in my own experience. But if you've decided you're going to do some Online Dating, then I suppose I have to recommend Christian Mingle.

I met my wife through there, after all.

Xevalous · 2019-10-13T15:45:30+00:00

Whoever commented on here, you're shadowbanned.

Billy_King · 2019-10-13T21:08:15+00:00

I’ve never entertained online dating but I’ve heard eharmony is good because it forces you to take a decent amount of time to set up your profile. Also the guy who created it is a Christian

Red-Curious · 2019-10-14T15:19:14+00:00

You updated with your stats in a comment, but I still want the other Rule 2 information:

Mission
Reading
Finances
Spiritual Maturity

Those things will tell us a lot of necessary information as to how successful you're going to be with any girl once you get past the initial swipe. Otherwise, I agree with /u/Deep_Strength that it's doable on a dating app, but mostly not worth the time. You're really just trying to skate around the easy way to find someone at that point. My brother did just marry his wife last December, and he's proud to show off how whipped he is to his internet bride. In fairness to him, she's moderately attractive and he's severely obese (but well groomed), so there's that working for him ... granted, she has psychological and health problems that probably also narrowed the dating pool for her.

Also, and I mean this not in a racist way at all, but from what I've read, minorities don't do very well on dating apps unless they're truly top-tier guys. Your build might make that worthwhile, but in order to draw attraction you're really going to have to show it off by pulling up your shirt to flaunt a 6-pack. As soon as you do that, the Christian girls will initially be put-off - not for lack of tingles, but because of social conditioning against arrogance. So, you have to couch it with a joke, like painting a cross on your torso so they can hamster it that you're not cocky, you're just showing off how much you love Jesus to paint it on your body for all to see. That way they're seeing your tingle-producing assets while not judging you for it.

More to the point: the only real value in online dating is to find people who are (1) either not having success IRL, which means they're usually low value - and if they're attractive, it's because they're low-value for hidden reasons that you won't find until it's too late, or (2) very far away, in which case you're stuck dealing with a long distance (not really a) relationship. My suggestion: don't do it unless you're desperate and willing to accept a lower-quality girl. You're better off upping your SMV and initiating in the real world through mission-oriented activities.

Wonko_the_Sane77 · 2019-10-13T23:20:40+00:00

Agree with deepstrength, online dating apps is really suited to conventionally good looking guys since that is the only aspect of you that they get to experience. 80/20 rule really comes into effect even on "Christian" sites.

When Christian mingle had a chatroom it was way better you really got to make friends and chat/flirt in a group environment. But they removed that and the party was over.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2019-10-13T21:30:40+00:00

Yes, there is hope.

Praexology · 2019-10-15T03:44:44+00:00

Is there any hope for Christian men seeking marriage on dating apps?

No matter what direction you take it, you are actively seeking instead of passively allowing. You have a chance to do a LOT of good as a single man (without distractions).

Sure if you use those app to produce "dating-sparring partners" to hone your game, but understand that your compass is already off.

NYCambition21 · 2019-10-23T01:24:25+00:00

I’ve had pretty opposite experience. I’ve tried bumble and most girls I matched with are in for long term relationships or at least down to see where things go.

Title	Dating apps for Christians?
Author	Watido408
Upvotes	13
Comments	24
Date	October 13, 2019 3:23 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/dhbxwo/dating_apps_for_christians/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/dating-apps-for-christians.301080 https://theredarchive.com/post/301080