Rambo or Readjusting beta?

I'm reading 113 of sidebar and I'm unsure off my opinion in how I handled a situation. I desired to be more compassionate yet.

I went to New York for work today, she wanted an explicit verbal reminder this morning on top of other reminders I provided. As she became upset I inquired why it was so important to her, the setting is my children greeting me and I'm tickling them and we are expressing our joy of seeing each other. She walks off without answering. I shrug it off and enjoy my children and begin to clean the house to my standard and continue to pay with the children. These are my joys.. cleanliness and play.

She says we need to talk about this, I say no we aren't going to talk about this because when I tried to talk to you you walked away ( a known etiqqute expectation). She tries to go for a drive, my car is parked blocking hers. She mentions me moving my car, and says nevermind I'll walk (in the snow storm) I stop her and suggest she take a bath or read a book and cool off, while blocking her way. She goes to the basement, I go back to the children. She leaves the house. I read stories, change diapers, brush teeth and put them to bed. She calls saying I need help, she wants a ride. I call her an Uber as she is down the street. She comes home I tell her to be quiet if she needs to talk as the kids sleep, she ignored me. So I go back to helping the youngest get back to sleep. Later she goes and lays down in another room where we sometimes put the kids to sleep and starts yelling about the cold. I come to help advise her about a warm bath. She complies and I run her the bath.

She says it's too cold, although it's rather warm.. I tried her that if I make it much hotter it will burn her skin and I would turn it up after she was in. She is visibly disturbed and knows herself to be stubborn. I said you can be stubborn now or I can help you, but you have to choose. She said it was too cold and didn't want to get in even if I warned it up some. So I told her do as you wish I'm going to bed.

Why do I feel I could have been more compassionate, because she was out in the cold and I have the cold. Because I would want to be warm if I were in her shoes.

Why did I abandon her? Because she was having a tantrum making bad decisions and didn't want my help the way I was willing to give it.

In the morning I plan to do my usual prayer, breakfast for everyone, morning kiss and smile, homeschool with kids and wish her a good day at work and kids a good day at school then head to work and Lift at lunch.

Rambo or Readjusting Beta?