I'm currently the opposite of a Red Pill Woman but I'm very interested in knowing more.

LuckyLittleStar · 2019-12-21T18:56:30+00:00

RPW is not a zoo. We're not here for you to poke at us like strange creatures and figure out what makes us tick.

If you are not interested in participating in the community, that's fine... Don't participate. If you want to learn about us, you are welcome to read.

But don't come in here expecting us to justify ourselves to you. We don't treat you that way.

Kara__El · 2019-12-21T15:19:27+00:00

Do you not feel disrespected? Why does modern feminism not appeal to you? Don't you want to protect yourself and your family too, and have a say in your life/relationship?

I think you'll find that few of us actually call ourselves "Red Pill Women." I know I don't. The ideas presented here are part of a toolkit and I take what works for me and leave some of it on the table. There are occasionally posts that rub me the wrong way.

Do I ever feel disrespected? Not any more than most married women I know... probably a lot less, actually. My husband and I are very much a team. I would say that he gets the final say if we come to an impasse, but that's so rare for us, because we work as partners and usually agree. Teams have captains though, and someone has to make that final call, so you're not just exhaustively arguing over whether to buy the new TV now or wait six months... or worse, working against one another.

Why does modern feminism not appeal to me? Because the definition is more inconsistent than it's ever been. I've been told that I can't be a feminist if I want to circumcise my son, if I'm pro-life, if I'm Catholic. I've been denied entry into the club enough times that I'm not even interested anymore. Feminism, in it's truest form, which says I get to choose what's best for me is great. The "gender wage gap" is bullshit. I made my career choice to be a librarian, because I love what I do, it pays fairly well, and it's extremely family friendly. I didn't want to be in a STEM field and telling me that that's because I was brainwashed by some cartoon villain called The Patriarchy is deeply offensive.

As for having a say in my life, I feel you're taking this stuff way too literally, a common initial response to what you've read here. I have a say in my life. If I want to apply for a new job, I'll do what any married person should and talk to my husband about how it will impact our lives and act accordingly. He doesn't just decide.

I can honestly take men or leave them - I've made it this far without dating, I don't see why I can't live the rest of my life not being told what to do if that's what's necessary. Do you feel you need a relationship, or do you think you'd be capable of living the single life forever too?

You're 20. It's actually kind of great that you can take or leave men at this point. This is the time in your life to be selfish, so you can figure out what you want. After I got divorced at 23, I spent years truly considering if I wanted marriage and family or if I was just told that I do. I love being married to my husband. I wouldn't go back to singledom... but it was fun while it lasted and I'm not sorry I didn't get married sooner. Again, if you think marriage means you should "be told what to do," you're taking all of this too literally.

If I do pursue a man, I want him to be masculine, a gentleman, etc but also respect that (at least right now) I'm not interested in a submissive life.

"Submissive" is not a word anyone would use to describe me and my husband is all of these things. You're not moving to Stepford, just because you implement some of the advice here.

I keep thinking of things...it seems like many of my hobbies, interests, and general nature is masculine and I'm wondering if that's "wrong".

My husband would love it I liked the things you list. I touched mistletoe the other day and my lip swelled up. I immediately started ranting about how this is why I don't touch things from outside. It doesn't make you less of a woman to like what you like. Plenty of men would enjoy company while they pursue the same hobbies.

asmallsoftvoice · 2019-12-21T13:22:56+00:00

I kinda just subscribed to learn when to pick my battles, tbh. If you care about every little thing it can be pretty exhausting and sometimes, SOMETIMES, it's nice to hand over control. It's a choice to do so and an opportunity to make the other person feel good about topics you maybe have decided to be less invested in. I would never let someone tell me how to spend money I earned or exhibit controlling behavior, but for joint decisions I feel if you dont have a strong opinion...let him have it.

KathrynHogan · 2019-12-21T14:27:30+00:00

I admire your honesty, self awareness and openness! I too am here to learn more than anything, I have my own beliefs which overlap with rpw and it’s lovely to connect with other women about those things in common.

I can also really relate with you about that feeling of anger when you think about a man taking the lead. That describes me at 20 for sure. In retrospect for me, that anger was misplaced. I was actually going through the normal and healthy phase of self integration in which I had to learn how to have a wonderful and mutually respectful relationship with my parents, and especially my father. It’s tough, but everyone has to go through that phase of learning to empathize and forgive the failings of their parents - the first step of which is becoming painfully aware of those failings and feeling, well, angry about it. My intuition tells me that dealing with those emotions at their core may be a more fruitful next step for you than anything else. Internal changes and healing will naturally lead you to the external lifestyle and beliefs / values that serve you best :)

Best of luck on your journey!

ManguZa · 2019-12-21T16:04:14+00:00

Once upon a time a woman pledge obedience to her man and a man pledge protection to his woman.

What it mean is both of them are invested with the other and take charge of his/her happiness. If you want a man to invest himself with you, you must invest yourself with him, it's simple reciprocity. So what will you bring to the table? One thing men want the most is respect... which is shown by building him up, or by being submissive in a sense that make him feel he's respected. It's a tool to make him feel loved. Like buying a gift can be a tool to make women feel loved.

If you're too afraid to be respectful (or if you choose a man you couldn't really respect) your relationship will eventually go sideway, because your man will be miserable... like you would be if he refuse to be kind and romantic with you. Some men, actually, refuse to be kind and romantic because they feel like women manipulate them by interest. "Kind" is the same thing as "Submissive" for the other sex, you can be used for sure, you absolutely mustn't be kind/submissive with anyone, but if you want a successful relationship you want to be able to be that way with the one you choosed.

Title	I'm currently the opposite of a Red Pill Woman but I'm very interested in knowing more.
Author	redditingfromskyrim
Upvotes	6
Comments	7
Date	December 21, 2019 1:11 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/edprf7/im_currently_the_opposite_of_a_red_pill_woman_but/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/im-currently-the-opposite-of-a-red-pill-woman-but.302466 https://theredarchive.com/post/302466

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