Are there any other RPW here with a diagnosis of BPD? If so, what was it about the ideologies that brought you here?

DelicateDevelopment · 2020-10-18T10:23:24+00:00

When I started to read RPW and TRP I was developing the idea that what the emotional instability seen in BPD could in an alternative world - parallel to the current ideas that explain what causes BPD - is the female hamster running wild together with fear due to missing stability/structure/guidance (positive male) in childhood.

Just think about a child that never learns how to deal with emotions either because nobody teaches HOW to control, e.g. because the parents are too strict, or instable (=unclear) themselves, or compensate too much for the child, or are not trustworthy. In all these situation the child never experiences guidance and orientation. Such an "uncontrolled" child can grow up to an adult with symptoms that resemble BPD. Together with what RP considers the "hamster" and "dread" and (missing) frame of the male partner, it could be explained as essentially feminine nature running wild. Just think about what dread means, dread is nothing else than the fear of loosing someone and it is intense because it hits directly at one of our deepest biological instincts. Or the hamster; the hamster is mental cinema running wild. Together with the female tendency to understand the world more by emotions than pure logic one can as a result easily understand how this could also describe a women with BPD. Together with "appealing to sympathy and the protective instinct in men" as ways of seeking protection and guidance one can also understand how as a result of the sum of all this a human being/female/BPD seem nothing but humans that lack guidance in setting internal priorities (frame/direction) and emotional control. It is heavy confusion, panic, disorientation, emotional instability.

Add repeated trauma and you can see how it all falls together. Trauma enhances the emotional response and the distress.

But it only connects to structures/instincts that are already inside of that, while it can enhance them it does not create them.

From the consequences BPD has on relationships (see how BPD are demonized by people who know some) on can see why it is for all women critical to learn to not act out from momentary impulses.

When we try to understand the world, we constantly develop internal theories about what happens why it happens and what might happen in the future. These theories are always the result of the eperiences and assumptions the respective person has about life and human beings. This is what psychology calls "projection". As women we connect feelings immediately to these thoughts, the mental cinema that we use when we try to understand the world around us.

The "mirroring" part of BPD can also be explained by seeking real (trustworthy, guiding, orienting) feedback from the external world (other human beings). Feedback that helps to find the right direction.

But then again. Feedback can be criticism, other human being's feedback will always only be the reflection of the inner world by an outsider which in some parts is also projective. Criticism can be painful, in the last consequence criticism can mean "being unlovable", which a bit more than one hundred years ago and also less, could mean shaming, rejection from the group, loss of the provider. So again it hits directly at deep rooted feminine fears... we need the group and the status for survival.

I would highly recommend to never believe anybody that tries from outside to explain to you "what you feel and why you feel" but to rather take it as "how one is perceived". The outside description rarely matches the inner experience. But it really helps to always take all criticism as "this is how this particularly person perceives my words and actions" but NOT as a statement about who you are or what you want to achieve or what your intentions are.

I might be wrong but it is my strong believe that if a BPD person manages that her intentions in interpersonal relationships align with what the other person can see from the outside and if a BPD manages to self-regulate her emotions much of the BPD symptoms disappear on themselves.

One should always keep in mind that every diagnose, every theory is only an attempt to describe something and that everything that happens inside that person is hidden from the outside world and only accesible in as much as the person is able to correctly describe it's inner processes. Take the BPD oscillation and confusion and you see why psychology constantly changes it's interpretation of the symptoms. The unstable and everchanging perception of psychology about what BDP is is nothing but a reflection of the instability and confusion inside a person with BPD.

But while being highly self-conscious and highly self-aware they also often lack the tools to proper describe their internal processes and often don't understand themselves why they do what they do on a bigger scale since they can also see how self-harming it is and it seems to just not make sense. So if somebody from outside comes and gives them a seemingly plausible explanation, they will grab this explanation, because they seek nothing more than an explanation, a guide, a direction, the captain, the strong calm patient friendly and trustworthy provider.

P.S.: I don't have a diagnosis but friends, colleagues, mothers and for some time it was a topic for me as well.

TemporaryIntern · 2020-10-18T21:15:47+00:00

I was diagnosed with BPD in January.

It's my greatest insecurity. I know that no matter how good I am about managing my internal chaos and those momentary flashes of emotion and impulsivity, I still feel like I can destroy a relationship in an instant. I do believe this will improve with time.

I was alpha-widowed because of my inability to control my emotions. This was before I embraced RPW or was diagnosed, but I basically exploded at him during our "fix the relationship discussion." I broke down (for a variety of reasons including other physical health issues) and he couldn't handle it. Understandably, I was no longer worth it due to all the baggage I brought to the table. I still regret it and think about it often even though it happened a year and a half ago. He was (and probably still is) my favorite person.

This breakup/breakdown lead me to do a lot of soul searching. It's one of the things that pushed me to RPW and getting to the bottom of my mental health concerns. Typing this out, I don't know if I realized how connected they were.

Recently, I've been trying to keep RPW lessons in mind as I've been vetting (after a year of nun mode). BPD women need a Captain with more patience than average as slip ups will happen. And of course, having a personality disorder affects your RMV so maximizing your SMV is critical. Exercise can play a dual role here, helping to regulate your mood and increase your SMV.

I don't think it's hopeless to find someone who will love me, but people with mental health issues need to be realistic. Waiting for prince charming to scoop you up and validate you isn't going to happen unless you make it worthwhile for him to do so. This means getting your shit together.

At its core RPW is about self-improvement, making it highly compatible with BPD recovery.

Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more.

Title	Are there any other RPW here with a diagnosis of BPD? If so, what was it about the ideologies that brought you here?
Author	Lil_Snulli
Upvotes	3
Comments	4
Date	October 18, 2020 12:32 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/jd6j1b/are_there_any_other_rpw_here_with_a_diagnosis_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/are-there-any-other-rpw-here-with-a-diagnosis-of.318043 https://theredarchive.com/post/318043

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