Hi! I admit I've been apprehensive about posting here for the longest time, everyone seems so secure in themselves whereas I, despite lurking and reading as much as I could, could never quite shake my pick me ways.

Until three nights ago,

For some context, I'd been in around a seven-month relationship with a complete LVM, we'd met in high school and seemed to hit it off right away, and things were perfect. . . for the first two months, after that, it was a downward spiral.

without tooting my own horn, I was far far more attractive physically than him, better cultured and far more optimistic and ambitious for my future, he was the sort of guy that was fine as a friend, but an awful partner, the red flags started early but with every fight, I would scramble to accommodate him.

I think the catalyst for leaving him came in one last-ditch attempt to solve the relationship, I've lost count of how many times I've had to beg for the bare minimum and still not received it, all I asked from this man was that now we were on opposite sides of the country for school, he would text/call me for an hour or so one night a week to catch up, without him doing something else at the time or having more pressing plans he had to run off to do after twenty minutes of texts. He admitted to having neglected the relationship in favour of his new friends in his new city and implied I was asking for far too much.

I, perhaps naively, laid my cards on the table, in what I didn't realise was an ultimatum.

I told him if he was unwilling to put the effort in at all, or at least try, we weren't going to work- and that I was emotionally, and romantically unfulfilled and actively unhappy.

I had hoped for him to for once, find a solution, to talk it through with me.

Instead, he agreed and insinuated I should find other ways of fulfilment and again, that I was asking for far too much.

something in my brain just went 'enough'.

If he wanted to make time for me, he would, if he loved me or valued the relationship, he would. and he clearly wasn't going to do that, so I decided I was done, and I wasn't going to grovel this time.

he immediately changed his tone and began to pander to the validation and attention I had always wanted from him, I cut the conversation short, removed him from my socials and turned my phone off.

its been three days, I feel awful, but I'm young, at the beginning of my degree and surrounded by likeminded people- I'm going to take some time to reflect, and to fully understand my worth and my boundaries in relationships before thinking about dating again.

I cannot thank this sub enough. without it, I doubt I would have had that sudden moment of clarity, of knowing that I needed to respect myself more than I loved this LVM.

Thank you!
- a recovering pick me