Hi bros,

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Here's some whine and cry music to read this post with : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuNhTLVgV2Y

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I'm drowning : I lost hope and I don't know if I'll ever succeed, be happy and so on.

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23yo from France

I've known TRP since 2016 or 2017

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I used to be fat (130kg at 16), poor, lonely, addicted to porn, cannabis and cigs, and I barely got the HS diploma.

Now I'm skinny-fat or average, had some money (bit under 4k that I spent entirely on), still addicted to cigs and completing my master's in a top 10 uni in France.

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Over these last 5 - 6 years :

- Physically : I lost over 50kg, practiced martial arts and have become ok/good at it, haven't been consistent and wise at the gym so my progress is literally shit (1RM at my best : DL 140kg, Squat 120kg, Bench 80kg...)

- Financially : I managed to save up to 4k EUR

- Socially : I struggle less to talk to people, have kept some of my old friends

- Girl-wise : I've gotten laid with 3 people : a hooker, a fatty and my "ltr" (~2 years)

- Education : I'm finishing my master's (Political Science) at a top 10 uni in France

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From March to now :

- I did a shitty internship paid 500 EUR/month I'm ashamed of

- I left my "ltr" only to come back crying after 3 months and experiencing AWALT at it's best (she fucked "one" guy even though "she loved me") oh, and ofc I shat where I eat since we've been in the same class for 5 years

- I moved out of my mother's only to come back 3days per week to play battlefield and counter strike

- I spend over 3.5k EUR (got 300 EUR left) on bullshit : cigs, alcohol, restaurants, a bike, rent, a SSD, a thermos and tea, and I don't quite remember what else

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I'm in a downward spiral. I feel the need to quit everything. I'm ashamed of living. I feel like I'll never achieve anything and/or that any effort is wasted.

People around me have normal parents, ok to normal upbringings. They have traveled, they have their own flats, they have cash, they are social and accepted by society, they don't "need" to improve. Those who do, succeed, while I don't.

They are normal and live. For me, each day is closer to the end.

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Any stories or advice ?

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Thanks