Sorry I'm joined with my regular account to FDS but the son of a b I'm referring to knows about my account and I don't want him lurking on what I'm writing. I just really need to vent and I know you ladies will help me get over this imbecile of a man.

So, we were friends with benefits at the beginning, I was just out of a relationship and didn't want anything serious. I caught feelings for him and told him we should stop talking, he said OK but then a few days later came back all sweet saying he didn't want to stop talking to me, etc. We decided to be friends but things kept going the sexual way, I'm dumb for continuing with this, I know but he is afraid of commitment and I thought it would be different with me. Eventually I stopped talking again. He's studying abroad for a year. This October we started talking again and he was super sweet like way more that before saying how much he missed me, and how special I was to him and making all sorts of plans with me like spending the night over at my house (which he never did with anyone), and going on a trip together, etc.

So these last few days he was weird, not talking as much, I don't know exactly why but I had enough of not feeling like enough and told him again that I wanted to stop talking, he said he understood but wanted to know why, to which I told him that I feel like he's way more important to me than I am to him. Which he agreed, and then proceeded to tell me that he hadn't told me anything before because he was really "trying to like me the way I like him", I was fucking pissed and told him I don't need anyone to settle for me nor trying to like me. He was like "oh, I'm afraid of commitment and you're such a good girl, we' re compatible in every way I wanted to like you the way you like me and get over my fear with you but I can't ".

This broke me, I spent two years of my life on and off with this. I know its my fault for even restarting to talk to him the first time I stopped. But I'm feeling so worthless right now... Any advice to get over him as fast as possible? I don't want to lose any more time with him, I have lost enough time and confidence.