Advice needed on getting overcoming past embarrassment and a bad reputation after transforming yourself.

mikesteane · 2015-06-06T03:25:41+00:00

Read Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now": "I have very little use for the past and rarely think about it."

What others think of you should not be a big issue in your life. External respect will follow automatically from self-respect.

BoomFapXCX · 2015-06-06T03:53:37+00:00

You're in a different position than most, being in a small town means you can't escape your past. So you need to embrace it and own it. Do not tell people you have changed, be patient and let them discover the new you.

juliusstreicher · 2015-06-06T05:18:37+00:00

If someone brings the past up, you can just look right thru them, ignore them, pull out your smartphone, etc...You, alone, choose what you respond to. You can even leave if you choose.

RedBigMan · 2015-06-06T07:11:12+00:00

You know what you just own that shit while realizing that the you of today would have done things much differently.

In the end it's all about maintaining frame. People will bring that shit up to try and shake your frame. Treat it like any other shit test and crush it.

oldredder · 2015-06-06T04:20:42+00:00

Honestly if you feel embarrassed about self-improvement you have a lot more improving to do. I don't come from this background. I simply had to reduce risk and reduce wasted time by understanding the depths of lies in society, some of which was dating, some of it sex, some of it jobs, some of it saving and investing, and quite a lot of it about trade & war because that's what will decide my next safe country to live in and why my current nation, Canada, won't be in short time.

Am I better looking? Yes but only because I aged and didn't do so poorly. Diet good, exercise good. Social skills? Well yes, because if everyone is lying to you and you believe it, you're fucking smoked. If you figure out what the truth is and how to handle the lies that's a social skill as it pertains to dealing with people directly.

I never went all PUA on girls. I still don't. I use a few things where appropriate but really it's not to tease out attraction. Attraction isn't a choice. These women are attracted to me. Period. If some aren't that's a done deal within seconds of eye-sight. That's a reality. What PUA stuff lets me do is sniff out the red flags. I need to know those red flags.

I don't have approach anxiety. I approach the hottest women with zero fear. I'm much more concerned with what happens if I missed a red flag then score with the girl then realize the severe harm when the red flag comes up again and this time it's too late to back out.

Hot 10/10 at the gym, working her ass & legs? No fear. I comment politely how she can improve her form. Hot girls at work? No big deal, don't shit where you eat but flirting still is a good way to be friendly and having more allies at work is better than not. Plus I like it when hot girls flirt back so I don't care. I know not to cross boundaries.

Eye-fucking or chatting up hot girls around town? No big deal at all. 2 hot ones today at the bus stop were (potentially a little too young) bending over just right, just in front of me to check them out. When they turned around a little brief eye contact with both, and a little just looking past them and I can see the two of them (who are friends) are both making excuses to each other to keep looking at me to check me out too. Suits me fine, though I'm guessing they're only 18 or 17.

ScholarInRed · 2015-06-06T10:45:57+00:00

I'd just like to mention that this is a big planet (on the human scale) and with money, it's the prerogative of all men to go out and explore it. If you get sick of your surroundings, go get yourself some better ones.

favours_of_the_moon · 2015-06-06T13:10:50+00:00

Move away from your shit hole small town.

These "embarrassing situations" were probably just quite normal. It's just that these psycho bitches know you, so they want to keep you down.

Source1311 · 2015-06-06T08:05:06+00:00

People will accept the improved version after a while. I see it as a ladder system.

Maintain your improved identity and behaviours long enough and people will behave accordingly and accept your new 'level'.

YOU have to shake off any weight your memories have. Once that happens all else will go automatic.

Realize that this will happen again in life, and this is your initiation process to not caring about what anyone thinks.

The price of doing your own thing:

People not being able to see what you are doing, facing pettiness, gossiping about you, attempts at reducing your character, etc.

No journey would be any fun without some bullshit.

cyphers_steak · 2015-06-06T09:00:00+00:00

I think that everybody goes through a cringy phase when they first discover PUA. It takes a while to process the feedback from the environment and to calibrate and internalize the new behaviour patterns.

You can always move to a new city or softly avoid contact with the people you've 'embarassed' yourself with. Once you've improved enough in terms of confidence and appearance you can resume contact, because the halo effect will be working in your favor: 'yeah, I know Postgradworriesman kinda creeped on me two years ago, but have you seen his sixpack?".

http://www.thedoghousediaries.com/1042

makethemsayayy · 2015-06-06T10:45:41+00:00

Not giving a fuck, and letting the version of you with a stoic touch. Just don't say anything and hold frame when a little more often than your personality wants you to, if you know what I mean. But if everyone's loving you, keep going with it! just know when to chill

Aiadon · 2015-06-06T12:01:43+00:00

I advice you to move away from the place that knows you for what you were before, you can change their opinions about you but it's time consuming and just not worth it. You probably live in a small to moderate population and size town. You could easily fight that reputation with social conditioning and other techniques but it's not really an enemy that faces itself is it? Your past reputation isn't brought up so you can challenge it, it's more likely an enemy that you can't see but you can feel it's effects. Move up to a new place and make up a nice story about your past.

tracker2208 · 2015-06-06T12:38:09+00:00

Like most other posts, just don't worry about it. Most embarrassments are amplified in our head. However I guess it really depends on exactly what happened. If it's something like you shit your pants in the middle of the town fair then just move.

MachiavellianRed · 2015-06-06T14:14:27+00:00

/r/asktrp

it exists for questions like these.

Don't post personal questions in TRP. Better yet, read the sidebar.

Thanks.

SexyDeviI · 2015-06-06T13:20:02+00:00

The new you would know and wouldn't have to ask.

I'm sorry but that is the harsh truth. True transformation brings a completely new dimension of character, mindset and attitude.

You haven't transformed yet, you are an improved version of your previous beta self, but you haven't eliminated him completely and built a new you on its ashes.

You are the only one who knows what course of action can lead to doing this, and you know you haven't done it yet, else you wouldn't rely on external help even on an intelligent subreddit like this.

Title	Advice needed on getting overcoming past embarrassment and a bad reputation after transforming yourself.
Author	Postgradworriesman
Upvotes	13
Comments	17
Date	June 6, 2015 2:56 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/38r6j5/advice_needed_on_getting_overcoming_past/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/advice-needed-on-getting-overcoming-past.33312 https://theredarchive.com/post/33312

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