Summary

AWALT. Get a paternity test, and even when it's proven not to be your kid plan on being called a deadbeat for 30 odd years.

Get That Paternity Test, Son

(This is a redone version of a post I did a few months ago for another sub; looking back, it should have been posted here.)

I was looking up information on Matthew Vaughn, who directed the well-received "Kingsman" as well as a bunch of other films that I've enjoyed ("Layer Cake" and the underappreciated "Stardust" amongst others). In doing so I came across this article. The gist of it:

  • Matthew Vaughn grew up believing that his father was Robert Vaughn, the actor known for "The Man From U.N.C.L.E." and other films/shows.
  • After he was born, his mother immediately took him back to England, while Robert stayed in the States. A breakup began.
  • "For almost a year, Vaughn acted like the doting father, insisting that the boy took his name, lavishing him with affection and gifts from Harrods plus a christening spoon that was a family heirloom, and writing him affectionate letters."
  • "However, just before their son's first birthday, after a Superior Court Commissioner insisted Vaughn pay £191-amonth support for the child, all contact with Kathy and Matthew ended . . . For the past 30 years Kathy has bemoaned the fact that Vaughn, the father of her son, has had nothing to do with their lives."

So, for 30 years Matthew Vaughn's mother complained that her son's father had cut her and her son out of his lives. At this point, the average reader is bound to think that Robert Vaughn is a terrible guy.

Except...well, I'll just quote from the article:

Nothing could have prepared me for the way Vaughn dropped his bombshell when I broached the sensitive subject of his relationship with Matthew.

Pausing for a moment, he leaned forward purposefully on the sofa and his tone changed from jovial and familiar to more edgy and urgent. He seemed to have anticipated that the question would arise and had already prepared his answer.

"Let me explain this to you. I want to get it very clear in one sentence, OK? Is that tape working?" he said, gesturing towards my recorder on the coffee table between us and paused while I leaned over to check it was running, then he continued very slowly and deliberately, as if to make sure that each word had a chance to sink in.

"That matter was resolved in the Eighties in America, both scientifically and legally in the Superior Court of Los Angeles. The litigant lost. That's all I'm saying. You understand what that means?"

"That you are not his father?" I ventured.

"Correct," he added, noting my surprise at this extraordinary and unexpected revelation.

"It is available at the public records office. What I have just told you is available at a public viewing. If you wish to go to the Superior Court of Los Angeles, you will see what I have said - DNA and all." I later discovered that the public wasn't privy to the paternity details since the results have been "sealed", a common occurrence in Los Angeles when the couple involved have not married.

I wondered aloud why this news had not seeped out in Britain, but Vaughn wouldn't be drawn on the reason, adding only: "That is my answer to your question."

Undeterred, I told him I was amazed that if that was the case, he was still commonly referred to as Matthew's father in every article I have seen and even by his former lover, Kathy.

He merely repeated: "That's the answer to your question." So, as far as he is concerned, there is no link between them? Vaughn interjected: "There hasn't been for almost 20 years."

Presumably Matthew and his mother knew the results of the paternity case? "I presume so, yes. It was almost 20 years ago. I haven't been involved, anyways, with that since that time," he replied quietly.

This isn't just Robert Vaughn making something up - when Matthew Vaughn heard about this, he confronted his mother, who confirmed that his father was actually some minor English nobility:

Clearly concerned that his bride-to-be ought to know who she was marrying, Vaughn questioned Ceaton who finally revealed that Matthew's biological father was George Albert Harley Drummond (aka George de Vere Drummond) a minor British aristocrat who is godson to the late King George VI.

And yet the mother spent decades acting as if she'd been the aggrieved party:

In an interview last year, Kathy recalled the crushing incident, saying: "It was the most upsetting evening. We were sitting one row behind Robert in identical seats. I was very sad and disappointed that he wouldn't even acknowledge us.

"Robert insisted that Matthew adopted his surname. He never denied paternity and used to buy beautiful presents for our baby. Then Linda arrived in this country and Robert stopped seeing me but still saw Matthew.

"This went on for months. Then Robert went back to America and has ignored Matthew ever since.

"Robert would just like to forget about Matthew's existence, but I'd have thought he would understand - he himself was illegitimate and didn't see his own father until he was about nine.''

So, a woman who full well knows that she cuckolded her BF and gave birth to another man's child, and knows that the BF knows, still paints the BF as a deadbeat and awful person, and herself as a martyr. I'd say it's shocking, but we know better.

Anyway, more grist for the mill. Even a handsome Hollywood star needs to get the paternity test done. And even then, prepare himself to be called a deadbeat dad for a few decades. Remember: Matthew Vaughn's mother, despite knowing who her son's real father was, preferred him to have no father rather than give up her status as a martyr / aggrieved party. Wowza.

As for the mother, I didn't see anything suggesting that she ever apologized or (ha!) returned the money that Robert Vaughn had paid in child support. I do know that at the end of "Kingsman" there was a title card stating "In memoriam: In loving memory of my mother Kathy who always put the extra into ordinary and taught me what a Kingsman should be." Well, let it be said that she taught (or at least reminded) us all something.

Lessons Learned

AWALT. Get a paternity test.