"Cheryl, a 42-year-old woman who describes herself as terminally single, has a laundry list of deal breakers. Watch as Iyanla sets Cheryl up on unsuccessful first dates before confronting what's really holding her back - a fear of intimacy."

BlackestPillForYou · 2018-05-24T05:03:09+00:00

Every girl thinks she's a ten who deserves Chad.

SirKolbath · 2018-05-24T07:44:27+00:00

I couldn't get beyond the fact that she said she thinks she is taller than he is and she "wishes it didn't have to matter."

You know what actually matters, honey? You're 42. You are neither attractive nor interesting. You're so selfish that you openly admitted you're not a good listener unless you're interested.

You're going to die alone. And probably be eaten by your cats.

krawm · 2018-05-24T05:05:30+00:00

tl:dr - Woman projects own fears onto men to validate her own neurosis.

JJ3314 · 2018-05-24T10:14:46+00:00

She looked a lot better than most 42 year olds. She believes the wall just isn't going to happen to her, even while it's happening. It might take longer but the wall always wins honey.

moorekom · 2018-05-24T11:59:35+00:00

The only thing anyone needs to watch in this whole video is the question part. Here's what she's displaying through those questions.

Chad cheated on me.
Chad made me feel inadequate.
Chad made me feel unwanted.
Chad pumped and dumped me.
Will you be my chad, but in a beta way?

What the host is telling her is that she doesn't let herself become attached to a guy emotionally like she used to when she was young and relatively innocent. But, that is the thing about hypergamy. You need to reign that in when you're young. If you let it run amok, it's going to be a lot tougher to even settle for anything except for the one special chad who pumped and dumped her one night. Years and years of addiction to hypergamy has changed her neural pathways just like any junkie. Chasing after high value males gives her a high and getting dumped by them gives her the crash. And just like any junkie, she wants more of the same for her illness.

ransay3277 · 2018-05-24T15:42:45+00:00

Honey, your problem is really simple. The man you want doesn't want you.

cycloneous · 2018-05-24T14:25:56+00:00

This lady is a lost cause honestly. I say this is because she has these ridiculous requirements that feminism and Cosmopolitan told her she could have and she would get "her man." Rather then be pragmatic about her expectations, she's being too selfish and hanging onto to the hope that what feminism and Cosmopolitan told her is true. The reality is no man is going to put up with her attitude, but a stupid cuck / beta will!

Verdict

Avoid at all costs, she bought into the feminism and Cosmo nonsense about making unrealistic requirements for a good man. Probably will end up as a cat lady!

ImportantScar · 2018-05-24T16:50:54+00:00

Good comments so far.

What I noted was the "are you willing" questions that were asked in an effort to "bring her closer" to the "man of her dreams". And to each question she mewled a half assed "yes", indicating she's willing to [do whatever Iyanla asked].

Each question was essentially

"Are you willing to compromise? Will you give up something in an effort to get something more? Will you give HIM something so that in return, he'll give to you? Will you let him give you things and will you receive from him willingly, fully, and without reservation or hesitation?"

The REAL answer to those questions is "no".

She isn't willing to compromise. She is not going to give the perfect guy what he wants. She is not willing to be "intimate". She is not willing to do the typical give-and-take that comprises any intersexual relationship.

This woman wants what she wants, it's all about her, it's all about what SHE wants, what SHE needs, and what SHE expects.

Which brings me to the second point, and one that I am starting to hammer home more and more.

I want to know what this woman offers. What does she bring to the table other than her body? What will she be or do for him or with him that will enhance and add value to his life?

Gents, don't EVER forget this. With EVERY woman you are contemplating anything more than a pump and dump with, you have to ask: What does she offer me? What will she do for me? What am I getting out of this deal?

Vet them HARD. Judge them without mercy or justification. Reject women who don't offer what you want.

Because I promise you: They're vetting you hard. They're judging you every minute of every day. They are evaluating and assessing absolutely EVERYTHING you do and say and display, down to how straight your teeth are to the wrinkles in your crows feet when you smile to whether you pay in cash or credit. Absolutely NOTHING escapes their watchful eye. And if you do or say anything the least little bit off, you are OUT OUT OUT.

So return the favor.

handklap · 2018-05-24T13:01:49+00:00

This is a good video. It's saying, "cut the bullshit, the problem isn't the men, the problem is you".

Her situation is pretty common. She is afraid of being hurt, being vulnerable. If doesn't give the guy a chance, then she's protecting herself because now there is no option of him breaking up with her, leaving her rejected, etc.

BluepillProfessor · 2018-05-25T00:10:55+00:00

Who the fuck are these 31 year old men who want to date 42 year old women. What the Hell. Then she rejects THEM? I can't take it any more. I need a shot and a dab.

the-chinese · 2018-05-24T18:57:51+00:00

At one point the "facilitator" asks her to look at the man of her dreams and asks her to state out loud the 5 major beliefs that she has about men that might be wrong with them, etc.. She says stuff like "will he love me", "will he be faithful", "will he be there for me when I need him", etc.. All of that is BS because that is obviously not why she is rejecting guys. She is rejecting them over highly superficial/shallow things (height, income, looks, age, etc.). She rejected one guy because he wasn't tall enough. She accepted one guy who was tall and good looking (and much younger), but he rejected her. She didn't know anything about the character of these men (faithfulness, etc.). She made her choices exclusively based on superficial things.

She is saying what she thinks she should say to make her look like a good person instead of a shallow person. Her fundamental problem is entitlement. She thinks she deserves a man much better than the man she can actually attract. She is not satisfied with the man who is attracted to her and can't face the fact that she is simply not that attractive (she's a 4/10 at most given her age).

The facilitator is telling her (and more importantly the audience) that her problem is her fear of rejection. That's not it at all. Her basic problem is that she is a 4/10 and she won't settle for anyone less than a 8/10. It's her sense of entitlement that's the problem here, nothing more.

Lis456 · 2018-05-24T21:24:11+00:00

This woman is so picky :’) must have an unresolved emotional trauma which means she’s never going to find “the one” . Whatever happened to finding a monogamous guy w/ similar interests and beliefs. Also have the feeling she’d nag a lot if she ever married. I don’t get why other women want the guy to be like fkn 10 inches taller than then, why hoe??

Incel4Life · 2018-05-25T03:04:07+00:00

Being 42 means she is likely infertile, which is the ultimate dealbreaker.

holidaysboots · 2018-05-25T20:19:53+00:00

She can't afford to be this picky when her womb is drier than the Gobi Desert.

cezariobirbiglio · 2018-05-31T18:47:34+00:00

31 restaurant owner in NY and dating a 42 yo woman? They must have been trolling her because there is no way a guy like that is hooking up with an older woman unless it's purely sexual. He dropped her a polite text about meeting up again and then ghosted. That's the reality of dating with online dating being so prevalent. It's easier than ever for good looking guys to hop from one woman to the next with little consequence.

bannerlord · 2018-05-25T11:16:27+00:00

Was asked 5 things she hates about the man of her dreams

Alpha widowed as fuck

Laurina_Novizza · 2018-05-25T17:03:41+00:00

'Ugh, I wish it didn't have to matter.'

'But unfortunately once I submit the results to the committee, ugh, you know I don't think all twenty-seven of them will forgive the shortcomings, shall we say, in this CV...'

What obstacle is there to looking past a little height difference?

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