You guys don’t know the crippling effects of being a bit socially awkward.

I grew up an only child (very bored and lonely growing up, with parents arguing ALL the time).

I promise 5th-7th grade I was on top of the world, I was the most talkative and basically leader of the group. Everyone loved being around me.

Eventually parents BS negativity took over my happiness. I wasn’t abused physically, but definitely mentally (I was beat pretty good but not to the point where they’d go to jail or some shit lol).

Fast forward, now I’m in my senior year of college and life absolutely just sucks in my perspective.

I know I’m doing a lot wrong

Comparing my self - “he gets so much interest from women why not me” “why am I way more awkward than everyone else”

Any way, now a days everyone is much more social than me. I’m no longer the person who is ALWAYS invited to events. No longer the person people reach out to. I don’t think people hate or dislike me but they just would rather spend their time with more energetic and entertaining people.

My parents probably passed down their anger problems and anxiety to me. I don’t even know how to act in public because I literally never had a proper male role model in my life.

Damn it’s though to explain, but I rarely have things work out better for me than they do for other people.

What could my problem be? What can I do to get better? I’ve been trying to better myself for 2-4 years now with little results.

I do everything a normal guy would do, lift (get good compliments on my body), I even do club wrestling at my college.

I don’t go out to bars and stuff because people don’t really invite me. Or if they do the plans would be already established and I get a invite much later than everyone else would (which I always decline bc I ain’t no bitch and won’t accept a last minute invite).

Am I just dwelling too hard on the past?