Wife is 8 months pregnant. Need advice.

Redrover857 · 2020-03-23T14:18:45+00:00

Be the Oak. Handle shit. Don’t be needy. Everyone is anxious right now. Understandably so. Your wife should only see you as a pillar of strength. If your worried don’t tell her or let her see it. How you handle this time will change how she sees you and possibly how you see yourself for better or worse. I can’t imagine the stress of a being 8 months pregnant during all this shit.

nantucketghost · 2020-03-23T14:46:55+00:00

Between her being pregnant, emotions and hormones change on a pin drop, and this corona stuff, you just need to be strong and suck it up. Sorry to say, there is no other alternative right now.

Make sure she knows you are strong and you guys have food, shelter, money saved and let her know that you've got this shit handled. Be the strong man she will need you to be.

My wife is already bragging about how she bagged a good man and I had this shit locked and ready to go when it first hit China. I'm no girly man in skinny jeans. If I had to make fire and go hunting she knows I could and would. Make sure your wife knows the same. It will pay in dividends for a long time after this shit is over.

stoicstephen · 2020-03-23T14:49:54+00:00

The way you pass the comfort tests is by pulling her into your frame.

Your frame right now should be a frame of abundance (more importantly, an abundance of safety and positivity). You must show through actions that you can handle this storm (wich in your case is a storm within a storm).

You have to believe in yourself and in your skills to navigate this, only then can she believe in you.

This doesn't mean she will stop comfort testing, it just means she will be a little less paranoid and anxious everytime you bring her into your warm safe oaky frame.

SBIII · 2020-03-23T15:31:28+00:00

Your wife is about to drop a kid into your lap and is probably shitting herself now that she's realised that this kids future is being left in the hands of a nerd who plays video games and builds fucking drumkits out of lego

Read the fucking sidebar - all your answers are there, you lazy fucking cunt.

Red-Curious · 2020-03-23T15:28:32+00:00

I've been a lot better at this whole alpha male stuff

This sounds like the epitome of the purple guy. "I want to maintain all my blue pill hopes and dreams, and maybe by sprinkling some alpha on it I can actually get them." Don't be like that.

When women comfort test it's not just for empathy. They want to know that it's actually safe for them to be in your frame. You can't display this if you're still weak-minded about how you view your relationship. It's like a civilian telling the Hulk when he became a pussy after getting whooped in End Game, "Don't worry I'll take care of Thanos for you." If she views you as weaker than her, she sees herself as the hulk and you as the puny civilian. It's not enough just to act alpha - she'll see through that. You must actually be it. By wording it as "this whole alpha male stuff," it tells me you still see alpha as "other" to you that you're just dabbling in. It hasn't pervaded your identity of who you internally are now.

What I'm more asking is how can I comfort her when she is depressed and feels like poop?

And pregnant. You forgot the "and pregnant" part here. You're separating her mood from her condition. Bad idea. Why? Because the "and pregnant part" is the part that pretty much guarantees you can't comfort her. No matter how hard you try to logic her brain or fuzzy up her heart, she's going to keep feeling this way.

You're too hung up on her here, which is also destroying your frame, which cripples your ability to provide her any actual comfort. If she wasn't pregnant, the answer would be simple: Hug her, let her word vomit at you about all her worries and concerns, kiss her on the forehead and tell her everything will be okay. You can still do that here. But it won't actually pass the test. It'll just get her off your back while she still carries on with those worries because pregnancy hormones don't go away. They abate and come right back 5 minutes later. She will have to figure out how to self-regulate so she's not hanging on you 24/7 and you can have some time to focus on your mission.

My point here is, most guys will say: "Don't fix her problem, fix her feels." That's a solid answer. But in pregnancy, sometimes you just can't. Accept that, do what you have to do to be the oak, but ultimately be okay with moving on even if she still feels that way.

redwall92 · 2020-03-23T14:26:39+00:00

YMMV ... but my wife was crazy into sex last 2-3 months of pregnancy - all five times.

Title	Wife is 8 months pregnant. Need advice.
Author	spiderbatmanturtle
Upvotes	7
Comments	10
Date	23 March 2020 02:15 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	askMRP
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/357464
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/fnkn9c/wife_is_8_months_pregnant_need_advice/