Looking for some advice and when I started reading articles on this sub coupled with something in my marriage counseling session, I felt like someone took a gigantic sledgehammer and hit my square in the face.

Here's the (short) story of what has happened: Me and the missus have been together 5 yrs. First three yrs.... sex everyday or more. Most recent two... AT BEST a slow trickle (hence counseling)... I have honestly tried everything possible to figure this shit out (including and MOST unfortunately going "deep blue pill").

However, in counseling last week the counselor and my wife both used the term "gatekeeper"... and it dawned on me, finally, that she feels not only like the gatekeeper of sex, but also of MY FUCKING HAPPINESS because I've put her on the damn pedestal.

So, here's where I really need some advice/strength/support/help... After being blue pill for 2+ years and that being the "norm", how to I make the changes and manage what I am sure will be the greatest battle of my life (lol) trying to wrestle back the power that I have given to her and she has taken advantage of?

One other point that is worth noting.... I recognize that this is my responsibility and my fault for allowing this to happen in our relationship and it will also be my responsibility to fix it as well. Any advice or help from people who have gone through is would be great! Any blogs or books you really enjoy, I want to hear!

TL;DR: Redpill first 3 yrs (luckily), blue pill 2 yrs..want to recover, want to change relationship. Need advice/support/help to make necessary changes. Any tips/tricks/forums/blogs/books or just general wisdom helps.

Thank you!