So I work in this factory. This chick starts working on night shift: presentable, reasonably intelligent, just above or below the drinking age. Comes out the gate hard, seems to be a pretty badass worker. Its hard to find good people nowadays so I think we got lucky.

Her Dad works there and she makes a point to talk about how much she hates her Mom for being a pointless philandering slut financially mooching off the men in her life.. I thought, well that's sweet of her, another plus. Maybe she's got her head screwed on straight. Pretty rare these days.

Cause with my newfound crimson lensed glasses I already have a vague idea of how this is going to unfold. Just seeing how far off I can predict actual events.

First thing I'm wondering is which guy she's going to bang. Its "Pete". I mean some people call him aggressive. I consider him whiney and shrill. Good call :) lady. God help him if they break up, because he's been in HR over that before. Apparently HR says you can't repeated and loudly yell, "whore" at your ex when she passes by you at work. Go figure. He's already been documented.

The more we talk, the more I start see how she's kind of off. For starters she was talking about how her new uniform is too big. She pulls her shirt up and pants out. I can see both sets of undergarments. (That was not an accident. I felt bad that I didn't have any beads to toss.)

Then there was a growing amount of TMI... Kids these days, raised on Facebook. I do not need to know how many miscarriages you've had and how glad you were about them, nor did the other five people in the room.

Anyway as the next few months go by, her reputation starts to slide into "disappearing for long periods of time". On the occasions I cover I get a whole lot of "she's never out here" from her coworkers. Paperwork looks good though. I don't see anything obviously wrong. Too many call ins, but she's young, I get that.

Fast forward... She's buying a house. I think that means that she and Pete are buying a house, but no one says it that way. Always I/she/her, never we. Hopefully he's smart and keeping his own digs for awhile. I'm optimistic that this will put and end to the call ins since she'll need the money for things like PMI's or a new roof.

A month after she gets busted vaping weed at break. She got busted because she was telling people on her shift... people who obviously do not like her... "it's so easy and you'll never get busted because its in a vaporizer. They won't know." Apparently no one ever explained to her that if you are regular user, you keep your mouth shut and keep a fake piss sample at the ready. I thought this was common knowledge.

I'm a little pissed because I smoke at home occasionally, not enough to warrant carrying around a fake sample, but now I've got to take a hiatus because like all good parents, the company is going to issue more randoms in light of the bad publicity.

Anyway... Here's the funny part... She's one month into a new home loan. Does she sign the "My Bad/It won't happen again agreement," so she can keep her job... like literally everyone else I've ever known has? Nope. She quits right then and there, and affirms it a week later when the company calls and asks of she's sure, because you can still sign it... if you want.

Pete now has a fresh mortgage along with three or four new full size dogs and a menagerie of other small animals like birds and geckos to feed (Note: she had all of these animals crammed into an apartment prior to this).

Its a couple of months later and Facebook updates have explained that she applied for literally ONE job, got an offer and rejected it. Is OK, because she has "a good man who will support her until she finds something she really wants to do".

I now get free uncontrollable giggles every time I run into Pete.