At work (I'm a custodian for a large apartment complex) I almost walked in on a woman who was taking a shower in the pool bathroom.

Be me: I'm restocking TP in the bathrooms and I get to the wOmEnZ' door. I KICK the door twice and I get no response so I proceed to turn the door handle (which is unlocked) and BAM! Before I get my foot in the door all I hear is "ASSHOLE!" Turns out some vacuous woman was in the bathroom at the time and she had forgotten to lock the door.

FYI it is a shared bathroom that is located right next to the pool.

Because of company policy, I HAD to speak to the woman after she emerged from the bathroom and wow it was not pretty. Basically she spouted off with that motormouth of hers and said she was going to report me to the front office. I encouraged her to do so because I really want to make an even bigger fool out of her (she's 300lbs).

This happened 4 days ago. I'm going into work today so if this bright young woman hasn't reported me yet I'm going to track her down and do it for her. I'll humiliate her in front of my boss with the truth and nothing but the truth.