What are your thoughts/experience about marriage?

roxon89 · 2020-01-09T17:58:04+00:00

Here’s the thing.....

When a marriage is working well....there is truly nothing better. It nourishes you’re soul. It fills your heart with joy. It is wonderful.

But when it’s not going well, there are few things more soul deadening, painful and horrible. Like....you to start to think that a year in solitary confinement in a Siberian prison would be an upgrade.

And the reality.....it’s not going well 95 percent of the time.

Trust me when i say....for every ounce of joy that a marriage (or any woman really) brings you, it will bring you a fucking metric ton of agony.

Don’t do it.

nepane · 2020-01-09T17:51:14+00:00

A mistake that, when I die, I will only have made once

PrinceRaj53 · 2020-01-09T20:26:08+00:00

Opinion? Well, I tend to share opinions but in the end, they turn out to be facts.

So, no. I dont get nor will get the, umm, "urge"(is it the correct word?) to get married because its stupid.

So the answer to "Marriage" will always be No, not at all.

Nope, its not related to the cliche reasons that guys here tend to give, like "good women are rare" blah blah blah. Whatever.

This "Not at all" answer is not related to whether this so called "good women"(whatever that means, because I have zero idea of this bogus term) are available or not. Because they don't exist anyway.

In fact, my answer is not even related to women.

You see, marriage is simply a false dream of getting an "all in one package" that mommy, religion and society wants you to sell. This "package" is basically like a Patta Gobi(the english for this vegetable should be Cabbage).

Once you open the package, what do you see? You keep opening and opening, and you see what? Nothing.

You just continue opening and, and, "wait? Where are the things that were promised to me? What? But this is a bad deal!!! But hey, you got trapped into the lie. Oh no!! But what about the advertisements?!"

Exactly. Its just a tradcon wet dream that does a lot of false advertising, simple as that.

Take me for an example. I am one of the biggest RPs you will find in real life. Now, even if I assume (I said assume) that there is a woman out there who "is not like that", "different/good/whatever the other names are woman", etc, why would I get married over that false dream and leave the amazing bachelor lifestyle that I live? Isn't that foolishness?

Being single is the best thing that can happen to a man, and staying single is the best decision for any man. Why would I leave this gift for an uncertain dream of getting an "all in one package" which is empty from inside?

"But what about the good memories and happiness and stuff?"

Reader, Always remember one thing : for every ounce of "happiness/memories/joy" you hope to get in a relationship from a woman, a massive amount of pain, misery and suffering will follow. And once it gets inside you, a lifetime in jail offer will sound better for you.

Now, lets move on to the part where the answer becomes related to women, because obviously, you cant leave the topic of female nature out of a red pill discussion after all.

The next thing which can be commonly seen in marriage topics is buzzwords like "loove", "connection" , "soul mate" (how can you fuck a soul tho? That's practically impossible, no?) and the indian version : "dream girl", based on a movie song of old times.

Let me tell you that these are just meaningless buzzwords that have zero substance in reality.

The truth? Women throughout history, always had duplicitous desires:

(1) sexual satisfaction from the man the woman wantes to sleep with

(2) life comforts/LTR/Marriage from the man the woman wanted to be with

This is the essence of the AFBB dynamic. Women always want one/multiple guys to have sex with and someone else to provide the commitment, relationship and life comforts. Because the man a woman wants to sleep with and the man a woman wants to be with are not the same, and this is what most men miss.

Why? Simple : because women are simply better than men in terms of lying and manipulating the lie to make it seem truth. Women are more attuned to displays of emotion than men are, and thus are able to prey on these emotions more subtly.

Women are always dishonest with men about what they find attractive - and have been for so long that we now have generations filled with beta cucks and nerdy whiny guys who dont have any idea about masculinity or manhood. These men genuinely believe that women will be (or should be) attracted to a "nice guy." Why? Because women want men to predominantly focus on the BetaBux side of the dynamic.

Women assume that if a guy is capable of giving them all the life comforts they want, then he is a great catch and she should naturally want to be with him. But in practice she only wants to be with him, not sleep with him . This is why so many women find themselves sexually uninterested in their billy beta husbands, developing a common misperception that women are generally less sexual than men. That misperception then filters into women's minds so that they believe it, which actually does affect their sexuality because then they feel free to reject sexuality, creating a negative feedback cycle.

So, women want to be in committed relationships with the "nice guy" (aka: beta) because these "men" don't know any better and women know these betas can't do any better, because if they could, they wouldn't be giving commitment just like that, and they would have left the woman at the first sign of disrespect or wrongdoing. Nice guys see how well this works at getting the "girlfriend," so they play that BB role, totally blind to the long-term ramifications of this strategy. In essence, they believe what women say about their sexuality, not realizing that women don't understand their own sexuality. Their biggest mistake : they take women's words as face value.

Women In a relationship simply try the best to maximize hypergamy in the given circumstances they are presented with.

Men mistakenly assume those women think and operate the same way as men. They assume those women are being motivated by empathy/love/whatever.

But for women, there is always a cost benefit analysis, it's always about what they can gain, either in the present, or as an insurance for the future.

So, just get rid of the idea that there's a woman out there that "knows her self worth", "is a good woman because she had a great father figure or something", "she is good because she is religious", "didn't just sleep around back in the day" or "just a better woman" or "she is not like others", because its not the reality.

Why? For 3 solid reasons.

1)they all exercise the same nature and they all do sleep around, covertly,

2)a woman would never admit it to you because she KNOWS it ruins her value in your eyes.

3)If she catches you even asking or acting in a way that makes it seem like you're mildly concerned with her past or her actions, it SCREAMS insecurity to her (as well as a challenge to the set of lies she's built for you up until that point) and she will lose attraction rapidly.

You see? All in all, Marriage/LTR relationships are stupid, because they force you, the man to compromise on quality for little to no gain. Want to eat good food? Find a restaurant with a good cook. Want good sex? Pay for sex with a professional or simply go and pump and dump if thats your thing. Want a clean house? Hire a qualified maid service or simply do it yourself. You compromise on everything trying to get the infamous "all in one package" lie that tradcons and society wants to sell you.

Don't pay for stuff that you can't own or rent, otherwise they end up owning you afterwards.

My father once told me : "when life is going smoothly and simply, without any problems, dont fuck it up by doing something stupid just because you want to. Because life's great when it's simple".

ZigorZenon · 2020-01-09T17:52:44+00:00

First time is ok, but never NEVER remarry, my uncle remarried and now hes living a portion of hell

DangZagnut · 2020-01-09T17:56:07+00:00

I have absolutely zero interest. Not even in a fantasy way. It’s ridiculous.

usehername6969 · 2020-01-09T18:09:24+00:00

For every moment of blissful joy in a marriage/serious relationship there is infinite pain and suffering as repayment. It’s not worth it.

nepane · 2020-01-09T18:14:33+00:00

/r/deadbedrooms

I‘m not fat, earn good money. Not good enough for Mrs. Entitled. Arter really swallowing the red pill i finally figured out she isnt and never was into me the way i was into her. Basically stopped talking to her, because fuck off, i‘m not one of your girlfriends.

GoodMan_Gone · 2020-01-09T18:24:53+00:00

I am married. And I can say it's actually not a bad marriage. I love my wife and she's doing her jobs as a wife. Yes she was in the process of trying to overwhelm me but I put her back in her place when I found TRP. Told her: I am working, you're not. So from now on the housekeeping is on you. You clean, you coock and do the chores. Hire someone for all I care, I'll pay but it's on you. Something heavy needs to be lifted or moved? Sure, call me in. Furthermore: no more dissatisfied look/ behavior. When something's wrong, you either choke it up and act normally or tell me what's wrong when I ask. The "oh, nothing" with a non verbal attitude of everything is wrong I won't take anymore. And last but not least: you never let me down in public ever. If you disagree with me, you STFU and talk with me after the situation. You don't like it? There is the door. Nobody is forcing you to stay here.

And what do you know? She's thriving and shining since then. No, not always but she is a human being. But OMG my heart was racing like a bird's first flight. But FML everything is true!

However. Would I have known then what I know now I wouldn't have done it. I my case I see I'm very fortunate with a wife who seems to somewhat see through her instincts and used her neocortex to ask "hey, perhaps he is the best I can hook!" Am I perfect? Fuck no. I know she'll monkey branch should she get a better deal.

So OP, that's my experience. I think I am an exception to the rule. And it's not your brain telling you want a wife. It's your instinct. And that's much more powerful than your brain is. Just don't eat for a week, meet me while I'm eating a sandwich and see how "civilized" you'll be when I don't hand over that sandwich to you quick enough. Those same instincts go for women as well. We want to take them in, care and provide for them. That's our nature. It's her nature to pick the best mate possible and use his resources. Again those are perfectly natural things. It's whole society and feminism who managed to uproot and destroy that all. Using women to be the useful idiots in the process.

boltjamison · 2020-01-09T18:44:40+00:00

Divorced with no kids or divorce rape.

I lucked out. U may not.

Dont take the chance.

I will never do it again or cohabitate with a woman.

p3p3_sylvia · 2020-01-09T20:12:54+00:00

A lot of the “happy couples” you see that might make you feel like you want marriage are all bullshit and just a facade. I went to a friends family Christmas and met a bunch of his aunts and uncles. Everyone seemed super happy and cool as shit. The very next day I made a comment about how I really liked his family and how they all seemed chill. He proceeded to tell me how half of them can’t stand each other, how it was all fake in front of grandma to make her happy. Apparently one of the couples had started a divorce process in the hush hush just weeks prior. It’s all bullshit man

CaptianHuggyFace · 2020-01-09T18:15:08+00:00

Anytime I think about marriage I just watch these videos.

Aries Spears on divorce

Tommy Sotomayor on marriage

anubhav23 · 2020-01-09T19:32:21+00:00

[deleted]

Phantom_Spark · 2020-01-09T19:49:15+00:00

Marriage is a double edged sword.

It requires too much skill from a man and society to wield this weapon. That’s why so many rules and tradition were put into place. Society had to be built around what was needed to keep a family intact.

Since that’s no longer the case, marriage is like going into international waters on a huge yacht. Then you announce to the world how you’re having the most expensive party ever and anyone is allowed to join.

Do you really want to tempt fate like that? Sure it could go smoothly... but you’re essentially begging fate to destroy you.

ChadowyFigure · 2020-01-09T21:35:41+00:00

I have what I would consider an excellent marriage to a great woman. My wife provides me with additional money, cooks well, fucks/sucks on command, has good overlap in hobbies and media preferences with me, mostly does what I say without a bunch of bullshit, is an excellent adventure and travel companion, etc. She is a great sidekick. Honestly LTRs are worth it to me just because I hate condoms so damn much, and it is less risky to go raw when you are tested and monogamous.

BUT

I would still recommend strongly against marriage (for all men), and somewhat less strongly against getting in an LTR at all (at least for most men). The crux of it is that everything good you get from a woman in a relationship is more costly to you because of the fact that you are in a relationship.

The main perk of being in a committed relationship over just fucking is ostensibly that you can be good friends, support each other, let your guard down, etc. The problem is that the more you do these things with her, the less attracted she will be to you and the less intensely she will want to fuck you. And intense fucking is required while the rest of those things are bonuses.

She likes you better when you don't give a shit and could leave her at any time. Any formal relationship or escalation of emotional intimacy shows her that you give a shit and reduces your power to leave - ergo, what commitment really does is motivate her to value the relationship less. And as discussed in the last paragraph, you aren't really getting a compensatory bonus. Girls would still cook for me and fuck me if I divorced, it would just be a rotating cast of younger hotties instead of my wife.

Don't get me wrong, I value my wife and her contributions to our lives. I will honor the commitment I made to her, provided she continues to hold up her end. But I have sacrificed many things, like my earning potential, access to my family, access to other women, etc. for a relationship that really only works against my own interests. We have a good marriage, and I love and care for her, but what do I really gain from the actual commitment itself? Mostly just a little more peace of mind when I raw dog her, lol. Is it worth it? Even for a physically attractive guy like me it is questionable at best... so unless a man has a high SMV, really really wants a kid or unprotected sex, and truly knows what he is getting into - I would advise against any kind of commitment at all.

Sekhayet · 2020-01-10T00:09:34+00:00

Not for me.

QuantumSanta · 2020-01-10T01:19:56+00:00

You are hard wired to want to reproduce.

My experiences are all bad. I have not successfully found any partner that cared about me in day to day sense, or made me happy.

I spent my hard earned money on them, and raised children which cost me an enormous amount of money for no real benefit. Not one of them is grateful for this investment, which makes it an even more bitter experience.

Some marriages are successful, but very few of them. If you want to see how happy men are married, then go to a shopping centre, and look at the faces of the older men walking around with women. None of them are smiling, or look like they have any joy left in them.

Also, people put on their best behaviour when they want to get married, and you will not see (or be told about) any issues they might have, which they are masking.

It takes a shit load of work to make a marriage work, and most likely, despite all your efforts, the woman will most likely cheat on you. Mine did, when my three kids were still quite young.

So, think very carefully about whether this is the right thing for you. Most marriages fail, and the ones that don't fail, usually have many problems.

Forget the white picket fence/2.5 kids dream, it is a nightmare really.

Title	What are your thoughts/experience about marriage?
Author	anubhav23
Upvotes	9
Comments	34
Date	January 9, 2020 5:47 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/emd599/what_are_your_thoughtsexperience_about_marriage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/what-are-your-thoughtsexperience-about-marriage.377842 https://theredarchive.com/post/377842

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