posted over at Relationship Advice:

Also posted on r/AmItheAsshole.

February of last year, my boyfriend (27M) and I (25F) were crossing the street to the mall.

The next thing I knew I was on the other side and my boyfriend was unconscious on the ground. He’d pushed me out of the way and gotten hit himself. The car drove away and I held him until the ambulance came.

He broke a couple bones but the worst part was the trauma to his head. It took a few months but he healed. Kind of.

He lost his job because he could barely remember how to do it and we downsized to a much smaller house. He’s constantly forgetting my name, he forgets to lock the door, to turn the oven off, to feed the dog. I get calls from neighbors when I’m at work that he’s wandering mindlessly outside, getting lost and when people try to help him he doesn’t remember where we live.

We’ve visited multiple doctors, psychologists, therapists. We’ve been working on restoring memories with photographs and music and any way we can along with therapy for both of us.

But it’s been almost two years and I know he’s trying, but it feels like he isn’t. He gets frustrated so easily when he can't remember things and he's started losing his temper at me constantly. A small part of me, even though I know he'd never intentionally hurt me, is afraid of him. He always apologizes afterward and gives me space, but then when he's not asking me for help something else goes wrong. He tried to cook dinner for me and ended up burning the entire thing, wasting half the food in the fridge. We both lost so many friends and now there's a possibility I might lose my dream job, the one I've been working at for the past three years, because I have to leave so often. Our dog who I adore with all my heart I re-homed because my boyfriend would do things like letting him but then forgetting to bring him back in. I loved our dog but I thought I loved him more.

Now everything he does I just get mad at him. The cutesy things he does like writing a note to himself every night to remind him how much he loves me just gets on my nerves. I know he sacrificed everything to rescue me but since his accident I’ve just been getting angrier and angrier at him. I feel so disgusting, so selfish for even thinking this way, but I don’t want to be with him anymore. He’s not the man I first met.

But I know I could never leave him, I’d be eaten alive by everyone. His family, my family, his friends, my friends.

I’m so lost now. I could use anything. I'm 25 and I feel like I'm taking care of an 85-year-old man.