I need some fucking guidance. I just hit a new low

BudSpencer123 · 2019-11-06T04:33:04+00:00

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GoodMan_Gone · 2019-11-06T03:24:11+00:00

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thatMGTOWguy · 2019-11-06T06:16:12+00:00

It’s okay man. I feel you. You’re going to make it out of this hole you’ve dug yourself in. We all fuck up in our lives. Being a man means how you own up to it and turn back around.

Nobody cares about men or their feelings or their struggles or their depression in this world. The odds are stacked against men. Despite that, the world runs mostly on the back of men. We always somehow make it except the ones who think ending their life was a better solution and they couldn’t take it anymore. I wish they loved themselves more. We are fighting a hard battle within ourselves every single day which no woman will ever come close to understanding.

You should only count on a group of men to share your struggles and look for emotional support and we are here for you. Some men might even criticise me saying this comment and my thinking is too girlish or feminine or weak but whatever. But trust me, most people just want a listening ear, someone who can they be safe with and expose their weaknesses and be their real selves. I’m not saying talking solves problems but it does help you lighten the burden and give you a different perspective. Thinking of ideas and successfully executing them is whole another challenge.

I know you can still make something out of your life. It’s going to be hard and unpleasant but I’m sure you can think of some way to get out of this hole we’re stuck in. This is where you’ll actually see what being a real man is like. Forget all the narrative spun by women and media about what real men should be. They are mostly veiled masks which only benefits them and not you. You won’t have some grandiose display of your masculinity as shown in the movies like you’re fighting a villain or saving the world or some shit. You will mostly have these silent struggles and how you find the strength to beat this and overcome it with very little to no support. This is being a real man. You’re gonna defy the odds to make it.

Take small steps each day no matter how small. Save yourself and you would have saved your world. Cheers 🍻

Few months down the line and I think you’ll be writing a post about how you’ve made progress. Let’s drink to that!

jkballzer · 2019-11-06T04:11:04+00:00

Sales and marketing is a good skill, not everyone can do it. Yeah I have a Business Degree it’s kind of BS and it wasn’t worth the debt...but look as far as your experiences and skills they are valuable. Most people are too scared and lazy to think about starting a business, but not you. Be proud of that. Also as far as the debt don’t worry! Once the Fed implodes the economy all those dollars will lose so much value it will make it easier to pay back.

Also you should think about developing a code, a mission, and a plan to execute that mission. When you have a mission or a purpose of your life (not a “meaning” that’s too esoteric) it’s a lot less frequent that you’ll feel depressed.

It’s not easy and I deal with the same shit. However these things do help, but it’s going to take time and effort and it won’t be a straight path upwards.

Good luck bro.

leering855 · 2019-11-06T06:22:03+00:00

First thing to do is see a therapist. Then you need to take steps to change your perspective on what success really is. That happens with some deep reflection and meditation which you must practice daily. Also consider joining a gym and changing your lifestyle. I.e. eat right, get plenty of sleep, drink and smoke weed in moderation. You'll get through this brother. Bottom line, change your internal world and everything changes. Good luck my friend.

2019-11-06T04:26:50+00:00

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o0_rambler_0o · 2019-11-06T05:44:45+00:00

Watch The Game Changer on netflix and join a rec center. It will help your mood and also make you look better as well.

boltjamison · 2019-11-06T06:23:30+00:00

Take civil service exams and get a city job. U have the college credits to do so.

Alijah69 · 2019-11-06T06:50:46+00:00

Highschool + computer science dropout + homeless afterwards because of an AWALT. I literally had nothing, $0, zero education, homeless.

6 months later I now make 100k as a software engineer because I went out busted my ass and proved I knew how to code.

Do not make excuses for your suffering. You will suffer as long as you allow it.

Go out there and prove it to yourself, you'll be surprised how far you can take yourself when you fight for it.

Eylmao537 · 2019-11-06T07:04:27+00:00

Hey brother, I'm currently going through a similar kind of thing but I'm on the way out of it now as to move on, so I'll try to chip in.

First thing: what's done is done. You've done all the reading and stuff for being a lead class businessman. You've put you're life on hold for something that didn't pay off.

THAT'S OKAY. WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES.

You need a goal. I got through my recent breakup and my cut-off from all my 'friends' by having a plan for my life. When I spoke to them last they asked if I was going to kill myself and I told them no, I have a plan, I'm going to be filthy fucking rich one day and I'm going to have people in my life that actually care about me.

Find yourself a goal to work to. Where do you want to be in 10 years time?

Once you have that goal, nothing else matters. The people in your life, that past decisions you have made don't matter unless they come back to bite you. Just accept what's happened and start going towards it. Think big, find a show or movie where your dream career is a part of it. Or don't, find another character that you want to be like, and work on being that kind of person in your field.

Be the man you want to be in the world you want to live it.

You just have to find that man, work through the process of realising nothing else matters except you at the present moment and work towards something years away.

Let the past die, kill it if you have to.

It just doesn't matter anymore.

heenefreene · 2019-11-06T08:11:43+00:00

Dude please stay off the alcohol it’s a depressant

adam142857 · 2019-11-06T16:58:08+00:00

Stop drinking now. Alcohol is a potent, highly addictive depressant. It may be what's keeping you low at this difficult time.
Stay in shape, no matter what. Do cardio and do weights. Work out 6 out of 7 days.
Add meditation/prayer to your morning routine.

HotAndColdSlaw · 2019-11-06T05:30:10+00:00

The only thing that I see that MIGHT help you is a physical job. Construction, carpentry, plumbing, HIVAC, etc. Anything where you use your body and mind together to earn money MIGHT get you in a better spot than you are now.

Nestroit · 2019-11-06T08:15:36+00:00

it's ok to be good with dying.

orishasinc2 · 2019-11-06T10:40:44+00:00

Dude, I wish I was around you to slap the shit outta of your little conceited self. Life is a marathon filled with bumps and roadblocks. You are still young enough to figure out a path to success. However, money and status ought not to be the sole goal or you will still be miserable with all the money in the world. You must find something that you can do for "no money". Something that makes you feel good about yourself and the value you bring in to your community. That is the most important thing. Seems to me that you are worried about your social status and thus value your self worth against the accomplishment of your peers. That is the path for a life of eternal misery. Get off your high horse bud. As a matter of fact, move into a much smaller apartment, drive a used car, and stop hanging out with your so called friends and come back to tell me if your life has gotten any worse. Be yourself. You are selfish and self centered, and that is your main issue in life... Buddy!

NoCharism · 2019-11-06T11:49:38+00:00

Looks like what you have to do first is getting a job.

Maybe in a warehouse or something, where a degree isnt necesseraly required?

But you also need to learn, that this isnt the last life.

Repent from your sins, get saved, study the bible, for we are living in the last days before christs return!

tw-1234a · 2019-11-06T13:26:12+00:00

I have depression and I went to the doctor and now I have cymbalta. I'm not ashamed of it. I will use what I can to get back on track.

I hope you try this, or at least consider it. Good luck!

Okayokayokay9999 · 2019-11-06T12:37:42+00:00

Man, I know it's cliche, but the past is the past. You can only change the future. Focus on getting your skills up to scratch. Maybe learn a trade or something like that? It's never too late to makes changes in life, don't give up hope.

[deleted] · 2019-11-06T14:43:32+00:00

I've walked in your shoes. I've been suicidal and homeless.

Today i'm a Software Developer and work from home in my own comfort, and i'm head hunted on a regular basis.

Some people may see you need motivation, I say you simply need to develop good habits. Good habits are the reason I used to stay up until 2am at the homeless hostel teaching myself programming so that I could gain some skills. I managed to get my foot in the food by offering to do projects for companies for free in exchange for experience to build up a portfolio.

I'd suggest you first of all think of your health; so hit the gym if you can afford it and do weight training. Also, take up running if you can. I run 5k a day.

The biggest benefits these provide me is that it burns up cortisol, which is a chemical that makes you feel depressed. When you burn up the cortisol your mood lifts and you have more energy. Also, weight training creates more testosterone, so you feel even more energized and motivated.

Have you considered getting into programming?

HoldenBalzac · 2019-11-06T17:21:54+00:00

You're young. You'll go through several careers in a long life. Make a decision about what kind of Man you want to be. My advice, you don't need to be a sheep or a wolf, just be a man living in a way that doesn't harm other people. Be helpful where you can. Like others have said, stop the booze. Go for long walks. Get fit. Hit the gym. Hit the books. Talk to a local community college about classes leading to certificates in something in IT. Use your skills in sales/marketing to expand your person contacts/network. Ask everyone about a job. While you're reading, look up a few poems by Rudyard Kipling. Somehow it's heartening to see other men have gone through the same things your are and we've been doing this for centuries.

SirDuLeon · 2019-11-06T18:35:39+00:00

You can do it. Do not stare at the dark cloud of depression and dissapointment friend.Even if the whole world points at you and says you are a failure,i, a simple reddit user in this community believe in you. You can live free and fullfill your dreams,only if you believe in them. Rest up, or try to change the enviroment that you are living on and whenever you feel full of energy,go at it again. Push it to the limit and let the limit only be yourself as the deciding factor,none else. I believe in you sir,you can do it!

Mikeytikey123 · 2019-11-06T18:54:58+00:00

Bro, it's okay. Lotta dudes in this place. Depression can be a real chemical illness. But the one you're talking about might be situationally induced.

Basically your life isn't great, and you'll need to slowly pull yourself up the rope. It's not easy, and a lot of things go wrong at first. For example you set up schedules and they just don't happen, you browse YouTube for ages instead. That's part of the improving process: your failures teach you how to fail.

After enough of the failures, you'll get "bits of your life that click into place and stay". These are failures that didn't fail; for example you realise sprinting as fast as you can for an hourish a day is your favourite exercise. So you keep it in your life each day. It's not a full life strat, but it's a part of your day that makes you happy and brings benefits.

Then you repeat this, continue failing less, and adding parts that you like AND benefit you. Next maybe you start cleaning your flat, realising you need organised space for work, and do this every day, after failing to do so many times. Then you add in stuff you like and doesn't really benefit you, like watching three hours of internet a day. Still fine, why can't your day work like that? And maybe over time that time will shrink, to one hour, and then you just give up cos internet is shite.

Work it out gradually, and add bits to your day, and fail to work out what sticks. It's a gradual process and it should be: nothing great comes quickly, especially not a decent life. And once you've got it, you will realise depression can be overcome, and all your days are good. Good luck soldier.

TheOnly1forNow · 2019-11-06T20:36:47+00:00

Get a dog. I got a small one, I'd recommend a small one. Go on lots of walks, 2-3 a day, it's good exercise for both of you, and you can practice social interaction with a perfect wing man. Play with your dog, teach your dog, protect your dog, you are his best and only friend. Soon you'll find all those little things that bother you are gone, they are nothing compared to your committed companion. Your desire for success wealth and fame will fade and you'll soon realize the value of companionship.

Dogs are man's best friend for a reason, they make great friends.

Wisdom_of_a_Khan · 2019-11-07T04:53:49+00:00

Without knowing what you want it's hard to advise. Having said that i'm not unfamiliar with the sentiment, Life is hard, most of the time it's unfair, and every single person in this world carries some regret with them. Without knowing more about you're situation here is what I can offer for advice.

Want less.

2 simple words, sounds like a painful horrorable fix, it isn't. Reading your post, specifically about being the next bill gates, it seems clear that you had dreams of extreme wealth, probably among other things. First step, Don't beat yourself up. Everybody dreams about that atleast once in their life, most people never act on it, you did and it didn't work, that sucks and I'm sorry that happened to you. Let go of the mistake you made and figure out what's next.

Now, second step, Life of abundance, living one day as a lion vs 1000 days as a sheep. Stop thinking that way. If you're dream is ultra wealth, anything less than that is just going to suck and you got another couple decades of the same shit in front of you. Instead of looking at the maximum you could possibly have, look at the minimum you could live with and start there.

Long ago, I had a very similar issue. I put way too much stock in a pie in the sky longshot, and it fucked me so hard I was reeling for 7 years trying to get over it. When I finally did I was still depressed. The dreams of driving new Lambos around owning mansions full of whores was stuck in my head and I knew i'd never have that, that there was no reasonable scenario where I would ever have the life I thought I would.

The only thing that fixed that mindset was wanting less. I don't have a degree, I got a manual labor job in my state at the time that paid 35k a year, worked my ass off and worked my way up to 70k a year and was still sad. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, If you're reasonable, do you have any idea what kind of life a single male can live with a 70k a year job and no responsibility? It's fucking great. Maybe I can't have that lambo I wanted when i was 17, but I own a Dodge Challenger that i've probably had more fun in than most lambo owners. I can't have a million dollar mansion, I don't even want one anymore, I have a small 3 bedroom house I keep immaculate. It's big enough for me to store equipment for all my hobbies, and small enough to keep clean. What the hell do I need an extra 3000 sq foot for? Show off my status to a bunch of people I don't care about? Attract a wife so I can lose half my shit? no, none of that, I have what I need.

Be reasonable with your goals in life, you'll be much happier. Forget the status bullshit that you've been programmed with and plan a life that you can go have fun with. You can do it with a lot less than you think. As for the job, if you have decided that you absolutely must make 6 figures or more, you better get a different degree, If you can settle for less look into regional trade jobs. Colorado, Texas, North Dakota, and Pensylvania all have oilfield activity. Go into the production/maintenance side of them so you won't lose your job on an oil crash, you can usually pick up a job that pays 40-50k starting and work your way up to 80-100k, some of them have awesome schedules like 7 days on 7 days off, and typically require little to no experience. Or finally try a trade school, electricians are worth their weight in gold most places, same with plumbers.

but none of that will work if you care about your own status more than your own happiness.

Good luck to you brother.

JohnPettimore · 2019-11-12T00:00:26+00:00

Here's what you're missing.

FAILURE IS PART OF THE PROCESS.

You're going to fail again and again and again. Everyone has this fantasy that if you're talented enough, and read the right books, and do the right stuff, that you're never going to fail and somehow ride the magic wave and be the next Steve Jobs.

I am an entrepreneur. I am who you want to be. And I have failed and fucked up and blown everything over and over and over so many times it's kind of become a running joke with me.

The only thing it takes, assuming you're not lazy or an idiot, is sheer, unyielding, will. Fall down six times, get up seven. Look for opportunities. Think about what you could have done differently, or better. Then go after it again.

But anyone who wants to succeed and gets hung up on failure doesn't actually understand how this all works.

Title	I need some fucking guidance. I just hit a new low
Author	locomotronn
Upvotes	34
Comments	28
Date	November 6, 2019 3:14 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/dsac54/i_need_some_fucking_guidance_i_just_hit_a_new_low/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/i-need-some-fucking-guidance-i-just-hit-a-new-low.390057 https://theredarchive.com/post/390057

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