A little background

I have been poor relay poor, sleeping on my mothers lap, in a park bench waiting for transaction to arrive next day so we could pay rent again poor. Right now i'm going up in life. was able to stop working and do collage full time this year. I'm moving to a way bigger house , best I ever lived in. I'm going to take my drivers licence very soon. Some money problems are going away. I'm still kind of poor though... for example this moth i only one par of path and they have a hole on the bottom... i just don't have money for pants right now, and the winter as arrived but i have to go to college by bicycle, today i got all soaked from the rain.

Even though i still have problems with money i some times find my self thinking: there nothing else i need right now... just get home and study or do some personal work. No money in the world could improve my grades right now or give me better relationships with my family or friends. That is shit i need to figure out by my self

just a few moths back money was all i could think... now i see its possible to have money, even lots of money and be still miserable... not me though I'm happy and pursuing m goal, only one thing keeps nagging me woman don´'t pay attention to me.

Thinking of woman keeps me miserable

just tow days ago I had finished some great calculus math session , feeling great i take a bathroom break on the way to the toilet, this girls with a huge ass wearing a tong is in front of me... when i get to the bath room i sit on the toilet for a good 15 min think of how i would make her like me, with ridiculous fantasy's. By fighting stronger guys, getting rich, seduction...

Fuck! they have such great power over me... i find my self thinking of owing sport cars or living in big houses just to impress them. I don't even like cars or big houses!!! (wast of money and more space to clean)

I'm not going to wast my life trying to impress woman, i don't buy that woman are the devil argument ,but me personal I'm not ready right now to gave a gf or a wife. So its time i stop daydreaming and feeling biter at any guy's who have one... fuck when i was dating my ex all i wanted to do was break up with her, when we broke us all i could thing about was her. That sign of an addiction.

Going Mgtaw

I'm gonna take a break and stop wishing for a gf, I'm going to focus on my goals, and when i look them in the eyes I'm going to see them as equal (if they deserve it) and not as some superior object of desire. I'm gong my own way from now on.

If you guys have any advise i would sure hear it. And thank you for reading my rambling.

edit: removed picture i didn't think that much of posting it but you are probability right