In 2011 I had my first long-term relationship. Before my ex I had two sexual encounters so I was relatively inexperienced when it came to women. I had only come out of my shell when I was 24.

So back to my ex. I was attracted to my ex for her physical qualities as well as her personality traits. Being raised by a single mother I didn't really like weak women. Oh how I was a fool. I assumed the beta role perfectly and my ex loved it. She had a man slave to do anything she wanted and who wanted to do anything to make her happy. I was also a giving lover, priding myself on giving her multiple orgasms but I never initiated since I believed this to be rude. I was under the delusion that a woman should offer me her body rather than me asking for sex.

She broke up with me and I was devestated. Then she found out she was pregnant and I moved in with her. She maintained that we werent in a relationship, not that she ever had any other guys over. She used me for sex on a few occasions but not often. She played me like a fool knowing that I was trying to earn her love. She kicked me out and never told me when she gave birth to my daughter.

When I found out that she had given birth I contacted her and asked to come see my little girl. She then professed her love for me. She maintained that lie for a few months with me happily paying child support and seeing my daughter for a few hours a week.

By this stage my sexual experience had increased. I had been with far more women and had found that legs spread quicker when I showed Alpha qualities. I am 1.95m tall so when I hid my natural beta behaviour behind a confident Alpha mask I found that women submitted to me. Single women, married women, young, older, it didn't matter. I had married women begging me to come over while husband was at work. They wanted to be dominated by an Alpha. I will be honest, this both frightened me as well as excited me. I was, and still am, drunk on this power.

My ex had grown more distant at this point but I think she could smell the Alpha at this point and one day asked me if I wanted an NSA relationship. I rejected her offer, my heart is still very much in love with her. The next week there was another guy there. I was angry but this is where /r/TheRedPill comes in to open my eyes and show me the truth.

The new guy in her life has more money than me and owns a house in a very nice neighbourhood but he is obese, dimwitted and his behaviour screams beta. After reading The Schedules of Mating I realised that as beta and as much of a nice guy I was in many ways I am the good genes guy (she abandoned me - proactive cheating) and he is just the good guy. He is supporting her but her tubes are tied so no more kids and she has expressed that she never wants more kids. So he will invest all his time and effort into a woman that cannot and will not bear him any children and that keeps him round just to support her (she also has no job).

I am still internalising many of the materials on this subreddit. My sexual encounters are increasing in number because of the Alpha tactics I use. I am a writer so I find that texting is a serious weapon for me. I can get inside their minds, play out their sexual fantasies to the point that they tell me to be at their place in 5 minutes... This is not to say I don't want a LTR but I want one on my terms, what those terms are exactly I have yet to decide but I will never again get into a relationship and be the lap dog beta who gets to lick a clit because a woman decides that if she doesn't let me I might go sniffing around elsewhere.