My example on why you should care about yourself more than the girl you want [long term relationship]

Mr-Ed209 · 2017-01-07T20:08:47+00:00

For sure. The biggest thing redpill has opened my eyes to is that the only influence on a relationship being good is the attraction between one another. It's easy to be bitter and think she dumped you to try and get better options. But thinking like that doesn't really get you anywhere. Being stoic, strong and a leader is what maintains/creates attraction in women. By acting like you DGAF after the break she saw you as attractive again. Hasn't every guy experienced this, a girl drops you only to come back when you don't seem to care. It was a complete head fuck until I started reading TRP. Now it makes sense.

I've been adopting the agree with what they say then do whatever the fuck you were going to do anyway mentality with my past relationships. 'Sure we can spend more time together' go out with the boys anyway. Not a single complaint. It's like girls just forget what they were even unhappy about the next day anyway so why even pander to it.

Live your life for you, and treat having girls as being a nice bonus. They will love/fuck you for it.

TRIICT · 2017-01-07T23:57:07+00:00

Post Red Pill LTRs are hard. You feel that maybe, just maybe, you can let your guard down and boom! shes back to the shit testing or she's gotta side nigga.

I had to break up with a "Quality" "wife material" Girl a few months ago because she "kissed" another guy. When I broke up with her she did all the whole 9 yards (I love you,please forgive me,It was a mistake!) I felt like cold evil person for the first 30 minutes after I slammed the door on her.I had that BP mindset of maybe she just kissed him,maybe it was a mistake,I'm being too harsh.....and then I was like wait... that woman cheated on ME. She tried to play it off like it wasn't a big deal! NEXTing her was the right move.

The struggle is real my dudes. Cold Detached Realism is the way of the red pill.

RedEyesBlueShades · 2017-01-07T20:23:30+00:00

You are still attached to the BP mindset of unconditional love.

She broke up with you, so now you cannot love her again. Put differently, she slighted you and showed you the ugly part of women's love, and now you're hurting and don't wanna go back again.

In reality you fucked up. You fucked up failing the stream of shit tests she threw at you - 'we don't spend enough time together', 'you don't care about me', ... - and went from high status dude whose life doesn't revolve around her to doormat beta trying to please her in any way you could. Of course she'd become disgusted by you.

Then you go back to being a high status dude, and she wants you back. Ummmm... I've heard this story before. (Btw, happy for you timing was on your side, as the saying goes, better lucky than good.)

What was true of her 'love' then is just as true now. And if you become a supplicant again, I'll bet you whatever you want she'll dump your sorry ass again.

If you want an LTR, and you enjoy this girl, you might as well get together again. The toy is broken, but so is every other toy out there. Only thing in this case, don't 'agree' to be together. Just be, treat her like you are, don't reward her cries.

Or just spin plates.

ecosci · 2017-01-08T00:30:57+00:00

Women love selfish bastards dont ever forget it never put her first she will resent you secretly.

MrMelbourne · 2017-01-08T03:12:26+00:00

Never give a woman 100% of yourself. Even in the best relationship, when everything is going well, give her 80%, at best. The other 20% is for you. To take care of you. To maintain your frame and keep you grounded. Many women will (subconsciously) try and extract that extra % out of you. Do your best not to give in. Even if she doesn't like it, she will respect you for it. Respect. If she doesn't respect you, you are in trouble.

situ139 · 2017-01-08T20:48:16+00:00

One thing you gotta remember though, is the quality of the girl you are with. She doesn't sound quality, she doesn't sound like a girl worthy of a relationship. That's the thing, beyond a good body and regular sex, you have to look deeper in your women. You really have to understand what she is like before even considering an LTR. Right off the bat there were red flags which you ignored, and there STILL are more red flags and you still came back.

This is where TRP has it twisted, there ARE women out there that won't put you through such bullshit. There ARE women out there that are worth being loved, and spending time with. This girl does not sound like she was even remotely close to being a quality girl.

And the thing with relationships, serious ones where the girl is quality is that you should spend quality time with her. You don't have to have ice in your veins all of the time. You can be romantic, as long as you don't let romance cloud your judgement. A relationship can't be ALL about you, she still has to feel love and compassion.

You can't not give a single fuck about her and expect a quality girl to stay interested, nor can you care too much about her. That's where I think a lot of TRP has it wrong. In a relationship there's a compromise. You still have to lead the relationship and be in control, but that doesn't mean you have to rule over your girl with an iron fist. You can still love her and spend time with her, while being an alpha.

In a lot of ways TRP has it twisted when it comes to LTR's.

zandd23 · 2017-01-07T23:08:23+00:00

Was struck by the fact that things changed for you at the 3 year mark of the relationship. I've been reading about this a lot lately as my current relationship is at that same mark and I'm experiencing some similar things. This is gold: http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2013/09/29/women-get-bored-with-their-monogamous-men-even-more-scientific-proof/

Key takaways: This boredom usually begins in earnest around the three-year mark in a relationship.

This boredom is intensified if she is monogamous with her partner and/or if she lives with her partner.

BobbyPeru · 2017-01-08T05:39:34+00:00

knowing this I agreed to go to her place and watch a movie, strictly as friends

You are lying to either A) us B) yourself

OR

C) Both

I'm referring to the first time. The other times you're just lying to each other.

TheCello · 2017-01-08T15:04:49+00:00

saying >that I'm not supposed be happy so shortly after the breakup

Lol did you laugh in her face?

KennyF91 · 2017-01-07T19:00:34+00:00

Well you didn't fall back in love so you were smart there. Don't really trust getting back with an ex when she was hinting at being unhappy. Like I'm. Let a consolation prize for you failing to upgrade.

Be a bit selfish. I went from 6k a semester to 8k a semester and got more productive and successful in my graduate classes. Banged former exes but no pedestal for the pussy.

Auvergnat · 2017-01-08T10:54:52+00:00

The real question is why did you bother coming telling us? Do you want to learn why it happened? or what will happen in the future with her?

Or did you post here because you thought "hey I got this story where a woman does a fucked up thing. Better post it on redpill to get some karma"?

technog33kboy · 2017-01-08T03:27:57+00:00

Sounds like she was foolish and untrustworthy and only happy if someone was using her. (Makes me wonder if she has experienced sexual abuse.) Look at the effect her bad behavior had on you. You became bitter and closed off to real love. She will probably go on to repeat the pattern and perhaps you will too.

The way people disrespect and have no compassion for each other anymore is very disappointing. I suppose that is the consequence of the fast food culture we live in 'eh?

Title	My example on why you should care about yourself more than the girl you want [long term relationship]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	93
Comments	20
Date	January 7, 2017 6:26 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5mlw44/my_example_on_why_you_should_care_about_yourself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/my-example-on-why-you-should-care-about-yourself.39770 https://theredarchive.com/post/39770

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