So there I was

kukul · 2013-04-20T11:15:27+00:00

You care too much and it shows.

2013-04-20T11:38:07+00:00

Just had this happen with a plate. She tried to break a date with me to hang out with her girl and then changed her mind when I didn't react at all. Soft nexted because no need to reward that behaviour.

Your reaction is pretty oneitis, yo. Always be spinning

Also, you failed that shit test MISERABLY.

30303030303030 · 2013-04-20T11:14:18+00:00

You are more of a fwb to her than she is to you. She cares less than you do. There will be an upgrade on the hike available or she is scared you are pushing things to more serious ground. Keep fucking, but that's it.

You don't sound like you have 2 other girls on a side but I've never had 3 women at once so that's just vibe I get.

bankruptedcasino · 2013-04-20T21:30:13+00:00

I may be late to the dance, but here's my .02:

Prior to inviting her i asked "what are you doing sat?" and "cancel it."

I said "I am going to the Long Beach Grand Prix on Sat, interested?" (thurs eve)

Assume the sale, OP. I would have initiated this text by saying, "Let's go to the Long Beach Grand Prix on sat." If she's free, she's free. If she's not, she'll tell you.

Clear invitation right? No response. Today (Friday & early Sat) we are texting and teasing, she didn't respond to my invite but early this morning (sat) she happens to mention that she was invited to go hiking "but she had just planned the hike at 10pm."

She lied to you, but not because she's patently dishonest. My guess is that you're one of her plates, too. Her other plate was the one she really wanted to go out with and she was waiting to hear from him. Again, just speculation, but I think he probably got the jump on you by making plans on Tuesday, and then never checked in until Friday night which explains this comment:

She responded with bs "I would have followed up."

Finally,

I called her on her shit, asked how she would feel if a guy did the same to her.

I shot that down and laid out that if a guy did that she would be pissed and disappointed, she apologized. I pushed she apologized again.

You gave away way too much here. Never tip your hand. And always maintain a sense of control when things don't go your way. Girls love to shit test by throwing a wrench into your gears and see if you dissolve into a flimsy puddle of goo. If you acted like it was no big deal, you would have had her mind spinning on why you just don't give a shit about her at all. You only express your umbrage after she asks you if you're mad at her, if you're okay, etc. How do you do that, you ask? Read on....

As a general rule, when a girl flakes on you just ignore her (unless she's flaking for a legitimate reason like family emergency, unexpected trip to the ER, explosive diarrhea, etc.). For example:

A text that says, "Sorry but I forgot I had X tonight so I won't be able to make it," does not get a response. Do. Not. Respond. She'll start sniffing around in a week or so to see if you're mad at her. That's when you drop the hammer: "Plate #2, I don't hang out with flakes. It's rude and disrespectful to make plans with me and then break them at the last minute." That's all you say. You don't follow it up with comments like, "How would you feel if I did that to you?" because you're setting a boundary by communicating an unbreakable rule. Do not give her any sense of wiggle room by tipping your hand emotionally or acting wishy-washy on your standards. You type out the hammer, and then you put down the phone.
A phone call that cancels is a tad more considerate, but you need to express your dissatisfaction by saying, "Ok, thanks for letting me know" in a parental, I'm-disappointed-in-you tone. I have yet to have a girl NOT ask, "What's wrong?" or "Are you mad at me?" after that. Then you drop the hammer by saying the same sentence as above. Do not say anything after that. Again, you're setting a boundary by communicating an unbreakable rule.
If you're straight stood up, you do not say anything. Period. Delete her number from your phone immediately and never talk to her again. Standing someone up is one of the most disrespectful things to do and she's communicating that she values your time so very little that she couldn't care less if you're sitting around the house waiting for her to call. That's unacceptable.

Assuming you've dropped the hammer, you need to see how she responds.

No apology results in immediate termination. You delete her number and you never talk to her again.
A text apology would be nice, but I'd ignore it and then throw her a bone 3-5 days later if I hadn't already replaced her in my harem.
Calling to apologize would obviously get a response, but I wouldn't set up another date while we were on the phone. She'd have to do that.
Calling to offer to come to my house and cook/bring something/make it up to me, etc. would be the only thing that would bring me back to a regular text/date schedule with this plate--and only if she at least blew me when she got to my house. Then I'd give her an affectionate pat on the head and make the point clear: "This was your one warning. If you flake on me again, don't bother calling because we're done."

All of that above is just for future reference. At this point, I'd ignore Plate #2 until she initiates contact. Could be a week, could be a month, could be a couple months. But for now, maintain radio silence. She'll crawl back, and when she does, she'll like you more because you had a spine and stood up for yourself.

TL;DR: I have no idea how to condense all that I just wrote into a single sentence, so I won't.

GaiusScaevolus · 2013-04-20T19:05:41+00:00

Drop her for a couple weeks. Replace her. Let her come back. Now you have 4.

Sword11 · 2013-04-20T11:48:16+00:00

Should have invited next girl instead. That way you're free and clear of her bullshit. You can call her out sure, but the way you did it implies you care far too much. Gave her too much power.

NrwhlBcnSmrt-ttck · 2013-04-20T11:16:52+00:00

What's next? Not sure after you threw a tizzy fit. Lol reel it back, how would she feel if a guy she obviously was over invested in shittested her and she failed?

Title	So there I was
Author	Sword11
Upvotes	0
Comments	17
Date	April 20, 2013 10:24 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1cqgz6/so_there_i_was/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/so-there-i-was.4031 https://theredarchive.com/post/4031

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