This will be relatively short. There is a post on hot page by /u/deepthrill about male shit tests, to which I wished to make an addition, but instead of commenting I made a post so more people could read it.

We always hear how when we start our self-improvement journey, we'd probably have to lose most of our old friends who wouldn't want to see us changed, so I wanted to give some anecdotal evidence that it's possible to set a lifestyle example your old friends can accept and even follow1 . Know that English is not my primary language, but I'll give my best (as I always do).

If you pass most shit tests and a critical number of your friends (maybe two or more, it depends on your specific situation) start supporting or even emulating you, there is a good chance that shit testing from the rest of your "friends" will stop, either because they're outnumbered or because of new social pressure against their non-friendly behavior (e.g. more and more of their friends started lifting and they (those who lift) wouldn't look kindly on making fun of their newfound hobby).

 

Here is my short story.

 

When I'd started my last year in university I adopted a new training regimen (Starting Strength) and a new diet to accompany it; I'd also downloaded MyFitnessPal to help me plan my meals. As you can imagine it didn't go well with my friends - a storm of shit tests ensued but I managed to dodge them Neo style.

Anyway, after a couple of months of bickering about me "being obsessed with my looks", shit tests just stopped. After some more time, I noticed that my friends, one by one, had started paying more attention to their diets; then some of them downloaded MFP; one of them even started working out more than before. And most importantly - shit tests turned into seeking advice.

 

Here's the thing - we all live in our micro-cosmoses and a part of it is our "group", composed of our friends and family. If you have a differing opinion (or in this case lifestyle) from the rest of the group, one of three things happens:

  • you change your opinion
  • you leave the group
  • you sway the group to your side

Because I didn't change my lifestyle under peer pressure and I wasn't cast out of the group, I managed to set an example for the rest of them and after some time they followed it. Just to add some context, we all lived in the same dorm and this all happened in a period of ~5 months.

 

The point of this post is that under right circumstances it is possible that you alone have an influence on a group of people, but the circumstances are rare.

Still, if shit tests persist for a prolonged period of time (which happened with another group of my friends), it is best to cut out those who wish to undermine you on your journey.

 

Side note:

 

  1. This also applies to having a differing opinion or perspective from your friends (e.g. you are a Trump/Clinton supporter and they are not).

 

EDIT: wording, formatting and grammar